Rockstar CEO
A title people give to above average CEOs to give attention to the fact that they and their company exist, usually in an attempt to increase their social value.
ex1: I just met Nancy, a rockstar CEO, whose company is building solar powered televisions priced at 10,000$ for people in developing countries. ex2: I've never heard Mark Zuckerberg, Bill Gates, or Evan Spiegel referred to as Rockstar CEOs. You know why? Because nobody has to say something so corny to shed light on the fact that they are incredibly good at what they do.
yungsnuggie over 8 years agoConvertible Note
A note used for the most well-known method of raising venture capital in Silicon Valley; raising convertible debt. This is when the investor buys shares priced at a later round of a companies VC raising.
Raising capital for alot of companies is a long term process. Basically convertible debt just makes it so that a VC gets more bang for his buck because he invested earlier. Each round the shares get more expensive, but you don't know how much of a discount one will get until each subsequent round. Value is pretty relative in this way.
If this sounds like economic black magic, it's because it kind of is. There are very few industries in the world in which people raise finances this way. When one understands how convertible debt works, TechCrunch headlines also sound less impressive and one begins to wonder if values are purposely inflated or deflated to fit different situations.
NOTE: It's technically regarded as "debt," which is why many entrepreneurs are pushing for the use of essentially the same thing called a SAFE (which doesn't use the word debt in it's language).
Steven Pham raised 200k on a convertible note to pursue his idea of mass producing solar powered dildo dispensers which send live tweets on the buyers identity upon sale.
yungsnuggie over 8 years ago
Corporate Storyteller
This is an actual job title given to people in Silicon Valley whose job it is to humanize the narrative of a company. The companies that have a position like this are so soulless and out of touch with regular people that they need to keep someone on their payroll to do this for them.
Jane became a corporate storyteller at Salesforce after the company realized they were too out of touch with everyday people.
yungsnuggie over 8 years agoFuturist
A futurist uses their semi-egotistically driven foresight to describe what could happen in the future. Because they are exposed to very early versions of new technology and believe they hold a strong grasp on the insights of the human condition, they channel their sagely ways via often ignored online blog posts, tweets, and books that are rarely read.
Jane: VR is pretty cool isn't it? Futurist: STAHP RIGHT THERE. HERE IS WHAT SHALL HAPPEN IN THE FUTURE. WE SHALL ALL USE VR TO COMMUNINCATE WITH PEOPLE. THERE WILL BE NO MORE NEED FOR PEOPLE TO FLY AROUND THE WORLD TO MEET EACH OTHER. THEY WILL MEET ON THE INTERNET USING BODY SCANS AND FACIAL RECOGNITION. THE POPULATION OF HUMANS WILL DECREASE BECAUSE VR WILL MAKE VIRTUAL SEX MORE ACCESSIBLE THAN REAL SEX. WE ARE ON THE CUSP OF RADICAL HUMAN CHANGE. THE WORLD AS WE KNO IT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME. Jane: That's interesting, I always thought that augmented reality would... Futurist: STAHP RIGHT THERE. AUGMENTED REALITY IS ONLY IN ITS INCEPTION AS WE DELIVE INTO THE OVERALL HEDGE OF WHERE THE TECHNOLOGY CAN TAKE US. WE ARE ON THE CUSP OF INCREDIBLE CHA- Jane: Hey that's my friend Matt over there, I'm gonna go say Hi to him.
yungsnuggie over 8 years agoUndev
Short for: Undead developer
See related: Undead
A developer who is constantly in a braindead state, having become accustomed to a severe degree of apathy (causes may vary) and low motivation. Usually, groups of them are found in companies with a highly lucrative business model coupled with low competition in their segment of the industry.
Identifiers: Unable to think, learn, or communicate despite repeated encouragement, instruction, and subsequent reprimanding.
Some studies have shown that undev-ness is contractable, but the means by which it spreads continues to elude scientists.
Added by
lloydmeta over 8 years agoAccurate
Winter is coming
The fear of a major economic crash becoming imminent during times of relative prosperity.
Raise your VC money now. Any day this "bubble" may pop and it will be a cold winter indeed. A few unicorns will die and many will be seeking warmth in places they never even knew existed. Winter is coming.
GoogleEngineer over 8 years agoHouse Lannister
Also known as Apple Inc. They hold a powerful grasp on the Iron Throne of Silicon Valley for being one of the most profitable companies in the Valley. Just like the Lanisters, Apple always repays it's debts whether it's paying their investors back or revenge in the form of their army of patent trolling lawyers.
Steve: After I graduate, I'm going to work for House Lanister. James: Careful boy, rumors say that there's an army of Dragons coming
GoogleEngineer over 8 years agoSellsword Engineer
An engineer with almost no personal startup ambition who sells his talents to the highest bidder. They are often silent unless spoken too and in many instances perceived as judging you without even hearing them speak a word. If your a startup founder, you must be ready to spend some serious coin to recruit one these guys and girls.
Even though he'd worked at Twitter for years building out many of their core products, he had no hesitation switching to Google X, when they offered him 10k more a year.
GoogleEngineer over 8 years agoStartup Unicorn
A startup that is profitable and is relatively easy to understand.
Netfilx is a startup unicorn with a low price product, clear message, and high user satisfaction.
GoogleEngineer over 8 years agoThat's cool
You have your reservations that the business is gonna actually work or even makes sense, but you don't want to go into details.
Ryan: I'm building a SAAS operated Pet food startup. Bree: That's cool.
yungsnuggie over 8 years agohilarious
hahahahahaha SO TRUE
Jack Effect
The effect Jack Dorsey's induction as CEO of Twitter has had on founders who now operate more than one startup.
The Jack Effect has caused most entrepreneurs at Stanford to operate more than one company at once.
yungsnuggie over 8 years agoStarbucks Office
When a scrappy startup founder brings his monitors and laptop to Starbucks to set up a coffee shop office. Often done when the home office has become too mundane and a change of scenery is needed.
zazpowered over 8 years agoThotline Bling
When a girl or guy you barely know likes your picture or sends you a message indicating they're interested in a booty call, but it'll probably never happen cuz you barely know each other and you're both too lazy to act on it.
I know when thotline bling, it could only mean nothing.
yungsnuggie over 8 years ago3 Comma Swagger
Handling every situation like you're worth a billion dollars.
I make fun of Mark all the time, but he doesn't get mad cuz he has that 3 comma swagger
yungsnuggie over 8 years agoThat's awesome
It's alright. Almost meh. But you wanna sound interested and enthusiastic.
Hayden: I just built the android version to my new Flappy bird clone! Matt: That's awesome!
yungsnuggie over 8 years agoThis definition is awesome
I say this way too often.
Code Ninja Turtle
Someone who is lazy as fuck, but is also brilliant jack of all trades engineer.
Ryan slept the entire week and finished his part of the project the night before it was due. Our boss thinks he's a code ninja, but he's really just a code ninja turtle.
yungsnuggie over 8 years agoSAAS
Software as a service. These sorts of businesses rely on a subscription model. The unsubscribe button is their biggest enemy.
Janet made a pet analytics SAAS tool that requires it's users to pay 10,000$ a month.
yungsnuggie over 8 years agoThe Internet of Things
All of your household applications connect to the internet and have the ability to change it's behavior based on big data.
Cisco's pitch on The Internet of Things basically says that if I forget my cell phone in the bathroom, I'll be able to tweet from my toaster instead.
yungsnuggie over 8 years agoI Only Invest In "X"
Either it's true, the investor is not interested enough in your pitch to take a risk and go outside his or her comfort zone, or both.
Dan: I built a sick SAAS app that get's 20 users a month on subscription. Mrs. Investor: Sorry I only invest in Social apps that are growing at a 15% rate every 17 days.
yungsnuggie over 8 years agoReddit Sticker Tryhard
Putting a Reddit sticker on your Macbook to appear more likable.
Alot of people who move to cities with alot of tech companies add a reddit sticker to their laptops to make a feeble attempt to fit in.
yungsnuggie over 8 years agoI've seen this with product hunt stickers in lyft cars and laptops
lol your example reminds me of L Condoms