3

Lawyer

Bloodsucking parasites which benefit by deriving nutrients at the host's expense.

Founder 1: So what can you do for our company?
Lawyer: Well I can help you incorporate.
Founder 2: Just did that on legal zoom for $250
Lawyer: I, I can help you negotiate term sheets
Founder 2: Just googled everything we need to know about convertible debt
Lawyer: uhh, uhh, I can do other stuff too! Here, look, my finger's not really cut off! See!
Founder 1: Haha, that's nifty. Okay, we'll keep your card
Lawyer: *Desperately* Thank you!
Founder 1: *Flushes card down toilet after meeting*

Added by willgr81 willgr81 over 1 year ago

4

Free Food

An excellent fringe benefit that increases employee morale, public image and work culture quality at low cost, it might even allow companies to pay out lower salaries or have better negotiation leverage for new hires.

Goldman Sachs employee: Yeah I go out to eat every so often, but I like to make my own lunch.
Facebook employee: Ha! we get free food every meal at Facebook!
Goldman Sachs employee: I hope you're stuffing it down, cuz all that free food comes out of your bonus pool! I just get a fatter check every year.
Facebook employee: *cries*

Added by willgr81 willgr81 over 1 year ago

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4

Career Fair

A time when recruiters try to get commission and college students desperately try to get their first taste of the real world. B.S is at a maximum.

David: Hey did you go to that career fair last week?

Kara: Yeah, gotta look for those jobs

David: Mo money, less problems

Added by willgr81 willgr81 over 1 year ago

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4

Convertible Debt

An investment instrument which allows both founders and investors to procrastinate on the most important aspect of a business. Essentially an investment in a flamewar. Both entrepreneur and investor can share the delusion of cutting legal costs by skimping necessary discussions which usually backfire and lead to unfair dilution if the company succeeds or ruined professional and personal relationships when the company fails.

Sam: I just raised a million dollars for my startup, GooberData!

Kayla: Cool, how?

Sam: A convertible note! Hey, where are you going?

Added by willgr81 willgr81 over 1 year ago

2

Angel Investor

The typical Angel Investor can be found in its natural habit, either grazing in the open pastures of tech conferences or herding in secret groups with other Angel Investors. If you happen to be lucky enough to encounter an Angel Investor in the wild, don't try to feed it with Buzzwords as it would run away. Instead, be honest and and try to listen more than you speak.

Hannah: Duuude, I met this Angel Investor at the conference last week and it was sooo cool! I even got a picture

Jack: Woah! They really do have wings

Added by willgr81 willgr81 over 1 year ago

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3

Technical Debt

Technical debt is a metaphor referring to the eventual consequences of consistently pushing shitty code that works in the short term, but fucks you up in the long term.

Justin's team at Hooli spent the entire week accounting for their technical debt.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

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3

RIGBY

"Richard is great, but y'know"

Basically a technique of abbreviating the positive preface to a conversation to get to the point.

RIGBY he's an arrogant prick.
RIGBY he sweats profusely and makes a terrible CEO

https://giphy.com/gifs/siliconvalleyhbo-xT1XGTFQ8UBYYfQEta?utm_source=iframe&utm_medium=embed&utm_campaign=tag_click

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

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3

Sticker Whore

Someone who sticks dozens of corporate and code related stickers on their computer to show the world how much of a techie they are.

In his Gender and Womens Studies class, Ryan the sticker whore, pulled out his computer with clearly visible html 5, Node Js, MongDB, Facebook, octocat, and reddit stickers to impress his classmates.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

3

Stanford Robotics

According to the Silicon Valley television show they are a group of self loving assholes who troll around Palo Alto making useless things like robot deer.

Stanford Robotics built a Drake robot because they thought it would help girls notice them. When they did, they were so annoying to be around that the robot wasn't enough to keep their interest.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

  • yungsnuggie yungsnuggie

    this particular definition was inspired by Season 3 Episode 1 of Silicon Valley

    1
    Reply
    over 1 year ago
  • zazpowered zazpowered

    What do you have against stanford robotics?

    1
    Reply
    over 1 year ago
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2

Decacorn

a company that is valued at over ten billion dollars before its IPO. Like a unicorn but presumably with ten horns

"Dude we can be talking about the d-words here!"
"Err...Dick?"
"No! Decacorn"

Added by Viktor_U Viktor_U over 1 year ago

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1

Customer churn

Customer churn refers to when a customer (player, subscriber, user, etc.) ceases his or her relationship with a company. Online businesses typically treat a customer as churned once a particular amount of time has elapsed since the customer's last interaction with the site or service.

Sky customer services uses a newer and far more accurate approach to customer churn prediction: at the core of Sky’s ability to accurately predict which customers will churn is a unique method of calculating customer lifetime value for each and every customer. - http://qwikfix.co.uk/sky-customer-services/

Added by blog blog over 1 year ago

  • zazpowered zazpowered

    We need a word for marketing through svdictionary definitions

    2
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    over 1 year ago
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3

Forking

When you use your dick and your two legs to stab him in the lower torso.

"I'm not asking you to spoon with the guy, or even fork him-"
"What is that?"
"Forking is when you use your dick and your two legs to stab him in the lower torso."

Added by zander zander over 1 year ago

2

They Took Our Jobs

A popular double entendre referencing a redneck slogan of immigrant labor replacing US jobs and the passing of Steve Jobs.

Zeeshan: I hate the IPhone 6.

Matt: They took our Jobs...

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

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3

Burning Man

The biggest Silicon Valley networking event of the year.

Burning Man will soon be gentrified just like Oakland.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

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2

Andreessen Voodoo

Drawing facial pictures on eggs to make them look like venture capitalist Marc Andreessen. Entrepreneurs then worship the eggs, hoping they can grow to unicorn status.

Every night before going to be Kamdesh engaged in Andreessen Voodoo hoping that his pitch would go well the following week.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

2

Microdabbing

A popular practice where people microdose on drugs (primarily LSD) for recreation.

After working at Facebook the entire day, Jim goes home and starts microdabbing.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

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3

Vision Quest

A period of time where one does psychedelic drugs to come up with profound visions and ideas for one's company.

Steve Jobs went on a 2 year vision quest before starting Apple computer. Some say his mind opened up during his time allowing him to see beyond the limited vision of the peers in his field.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

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2

Engineer Agencies

Agencies run by engineers who pimp out other engineers and themselves to big companies and startups for a per hour/week wage. This can be more lucrative and give more freedom to said engineers who work on their own time.

James sought the help of an Engineer Agency to build an initial version of his OnDemand Condom delivery service for iOS and Android.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

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1

Yahoo

Best Yahoo Customer Care Support at Yahoo Support Number. Call our Toll Free Yahoo Contact Number for resolving YAHOO problems with YAHOO 0800 910 1016 UK.

We at Yahoo Support bring free technical support to those users who consistently use the Yahoo Services in their device. We have a team of dedicated professionals to resolve all those technical issues hampering your work and help you out with great administrations, flexibility for those who face any kind issue in their Yahoo mail account.
For more details please visit at http://www.yahoocustomerservice.uk/

Added by seofortech seofortech over 1 year ago

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1

mshebere

a strong guy

John is very mshebere nowdays

Added by biggo6 biggo6 over 1 year ago

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