Zero Billion
Any amount under 1 billion, rendering you off of Forbes billionaire's list, if you round down.
I'm not a billionaire anymore. I'm a nine-hundred-and-eighty-sixionaire, which isn't even a fucking thing. If you round down, I have zero billion.
mczajka over 9 years agoNomophobia
The irrational and all-consuming fear of being out of cell phone contact.
Coined by British researchers. An abbreviation of no-mobile-phone-phobia.
"I left my phone at home this morning and I feel like I've lost a limb. I'm suffering from severe nomophobia." "When my battery hits 5% I get jittery. I must be suffering from nomophobia."
doctornomo over 9 years agoThree Commas Club
Three commas to imply a billion dollars as $1,000,000,000 has 3 commas. To be in the three commas club is to be a billionaire.
Richard’s literalness remains the one thing to rattle Russ. “You know what has three commas in it, Richard?” “A sentence with two appositive phrases in it?”
arunaharsa over 9 years agoBallmer Peak
Discovered by Microsoft in the late 80's, somehow a blood alcohol content between 0.129% and 0.138% confers superhuman programming ability.
Alice: "The Ballmer Peak is a delicate effect requiring careful calibration. You can't just give a team of coders a year's supply of whiskey and tell them to get cracking. Bob: "Has that ever happened?" Alice: "Remember Windows ME?"
hunterlane over 9 years agoTechnical Founder
A 5.0 student from MIT, the technical founder is a lone wolf who thinks business people are completely useless. You're a social media manager? Get the fuck out of here. His code is perfectly architected, clean and commented in all the right places. His startups fail because he doesn't think writing CSS is worth his time and his sites look like shit as a result.
Technical founder: I was almost about to team up with a non-technical cofounder but then he told me he wanted a user interface to manage our sites content.
zazpowered over 9 years ago
Does anyone make money around here?
Users of venture backed startups and residents of Silicon Valley ask this question frequently. They do not understand how a lot of social apps such as Snapchat and Facebook (before they started to run ads) are able to raise so much money at sky high valuations without generating revenue.
For on demand services such as Uber, Instacart and Caviar they do not understand how signup credit, promo codes and referral credit can be offered so frequently.
Jim: Let me get this straight. Snapchat is worth $10 billion now and they haven't made any money? Just now I read Uber is offering $100 signup credit, $50 credit for every friend I refer and a one time promo code of $20 off of my first ride. Does anyone make money around here? Tim: You realize Uber has raised $1 billion dollars every month for the past 12 months right?
zazpowered over 9 years agoLean Startup
A startup philosophy that attempts to combine the aspects of product driven with customer driven resulting in often successful, and simultaneously mediocre apps and websites that fails to bring forth truly disruptive technology.
Bob: I've spent all day doing customer development surveys for my Uber for tutoring app. Alice: That's nice. I just finished some testing for my needle-free vaccine delivery system. Bob: [Walks away feeling sorry for Alice, who has no clue what his customers really want and won't be able to pivot after sinking such large R&D costs]
Mcat over 9 years agoUber Fast Food
When you are hungry during a Uber ride so you tell your driver to go through Mcdonald's drive-through.
Matt: "Honestly, getting Uber Fast Food isn't so bad. It is a little awkward for the Mcdonald's employee to see your driver trying to align the backseat window with the drive-through window so you can pay . Of course if a friend sees you it's also a little embarrassing but that's it."
zazpowered over 9 years agoDressing the part
When an engineer that normally wears contact lenses puts on glasses for a job interview or pitch meeting.
See http://svdictionary.com/words/software-engineer-uniform
Jennifer: You seriously think wearing glasses is going to help you get funded?
David: It's called dressing the part and it works so stop talking.
zazpowered over 9 years agoRide Sharing Tension
The tension a user of Uber Pool or Lyft Line feels when they feel obligated to make small talk with other passengers.
"Shit he's right next to me. Do I need to talk to him? It's already been 5 minutes since he got into the car though. Dammit I'm using regular Uber next time."
zazpowered over 9 years agoVanity Metrics
Useless data that looks good but does not necessarily correlate real success.
Bob: Our website gets a million views daily!
Mark: How many of them are you converting to paid users?
Bob: Well.. we are still working on that.
serge over 9 years agoTopchart vanity metrics list http://www.topchart.io/lists/vanity-metrics
ESports
Video game players attempt to turn DOTA, LoL, Counter Strike, and other popular video games into a sport lost in a twilight dream that one day they can be paid large sums of money to validate their laziness.
I didn't go to a single class this semester because my friends and I are dropping out to start a Goat Simulator ESports team.
yungsnuggie over 9 years agoEphemeral Messaging
Normally refers to modern chat services that delete the conversation users have between one another at some point in time.
I love ephemeral messaging services because I never have to feel conscious about how much I curse.
yungsnuggie over 9 years agoNo Free Lunch
An expression known all to well to employees at Apple Inc, who are required to pay for their own lunch.
Back at Google we'd get free food during all times of day, but here at Apple it comes out of my salary because there's no free lunch.
yungsnuggie over 9 years agoBusiness Hour
When you go to a happy hour with the only intention to network with people that might invest in you or promote your startup.
Rachel: That dude has been talking to Ryan Hoover this whole time. I know a Product Hunt feature is nice but I thought this was a happy hour not a business hour.
zazpowered over 9 years agoBuying the logo
Investors putting a tiny percentage of a fund into a company so they can claim credit. Credit to Sam Altman
Due to the success of Airbnb, some investors are buying the logo so they can put an Airbnb badge on their website.
zazpowered over 9 years agoRecruiter
A non-technical sales person who acts as a professional middle man/woman that does everything they can to get between tech talent and the company they want to work for, in order to arbitrage the deal-flow around the economics of a code ninja actually working for a company. Their job is to get in the way and stop tech talent from working for the companies they want to work for unless they the recruiter can get paid for the work the tech talent does as well. They will only introduce you to the companies they can make money from and are not known to care about "fit" or your own happiness outside of them getting paid, but because they get paid so much for providing so little value they will smile and lie to your face and tell you otherwise.. Also known as a cancer to most startups and companies.
Adam: The recruiter lied again. I'm still not getting paid on time or in the right amounts. And its not a full time gig like I was told, its a contract with no possibility of conversation or extension.
Steve: Dude, that's what recruiters do. Never trust a recruiter, they are a cancer.
honestduane over 9 years agoheads down
Focused intensely on developing, coding, building, making, and all around working hard.
I know all your engineers are heads down, but could you help me out with my landing page?
nzieber over 9 years agoVaporware
A piece of nothing. Generally used to describe something that is inexistent. "The snake oil of tech".
John: he got the investment without a product?
Andrew: he sold them total vaporware dude, he's not even sure what he's gonna build
Cloudhamza over 9 years agoBro Rata
A term used to describe your commitment to investing in your friendship every round even when it's going down to the right.
A term coined by Startup L. Jackson.
Tony: Friend, I'm going to be spending more time with you in order to maintain my bro rata in you. I just can't risk losing my stake anymore.
Steven: Seriously, you're gonna do that after you went out with my girlfriend?!
svhunt over 9 years ago
@blog Congrats, you're an http://svdictionary.com/words/innovator