12

Bootstrap

Funding your startup from your own pocket money. (Because nobody will invest in it)

I don't need VC money, I have decided to bootstrap it myself. Yeah!

Added by mkagenius mkagenius about 9 years ago

    8

    Code Masochist

    A person pursuing a CS degree from a university who finds everything way to easy for his own good, so to challenge himself (or herself) he or she purposely does the projects on the last day so they can feel a comparable amount of pressure to the other students who've sometimes had up to a month to finish. (Can also apply to software engineering employees who do their work irrationally close to the deadline).

    Hai was such a code masochist that he decided to do his upper div cs projects 12 hours before it was due. The professor assigned it 4 weeks ago.

    Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie about 9 years ago

      2

      For Profit Do Good

      A company that works to raise money for charitable causes, but is also a business that produces revenue. This is not incorporated as a Non-Profit organization.

      charitybuzz.com

      Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie about 9 years ago

        2

        Simply Scheming

        Trying to impress a future employer by referencing knowledge in Lisp (a programming language with a horrendous amount of parenthesis) that is mostly only taught at MIT and UC Berkeley. Simply Scheme is also the title to a textbook written by Brian Harvey (MIT alum and tenured Berkeley professor).

        Fred simply schemed his way out of the first round interviews making his interviewer feel incompetent by his lack of knowledge in Lisp.

        Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie about 9 years ago

        • freefunctor freefunctor

          This is taught heavily at Waterloo as well (although there is a fair bit of Haskell as well). Elegant weapons, for a more civilized world.

          2
          Reply
          almost 9 years ago
        2

        Oski Eyes

        When an engineering student (primarily UC Berkeley students) tries to talk to a girl but ends up frowning and giving her an awkward vibe because he is too scared to say anything. This is mostly done out of innocence and fear.

        Cindy was really interested in meeting my friend Brian, but since she was the first girl he'd talked to in months he ended up giving her Oski eyes and scaring her off. She's over there talking to that Haashole Brad now.

        Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie about 9 years ago

          26

          Engineer Hot Girl Syndrome

          When a non-technical founder starts treating really good engineers like attractive girls, asking them out to dinner, buying them gifts arbitrarily, and sometimes getting nervous in their presence.

          Zeeshan's friend Vishnu is such a good programmer I get engineer hot girl syndrome in his presence. I want him on our team so badly.

          Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie about 9 years ago

            7

            Technical Debt

            Reason you give for not shipping shit

            We have a bunch of technical debt we have to work resolve before we can ship X new feature

            Added by Flacko Flacko about 9 years ago

              3

              PG

              I want to say Paul Graham, but I also want to know whether you're totally clueless and out of the loop.

              "I finally met pg in person.
              SENPAI NOTICED ME."

              Added by employeeNumbaOne employeeNumbaOne about 9 years ago

                6

                On Demand

                Another way of saying "for lazy people."

                Meals on demand. That's right, we're revolutionizing the way you get pizza.

                Added by employeeNumbaOne employeeNumbaOne about 9 years ago

                  5

                  Federal

                  See http://svdictionary.com/words/enterprise, but way, way worse.

                  This word magically redirects investor attention elsewhere.

                  Founder: "Our ideal customer is the federal government."
                  VCs: "We are looking for more immediate ROI at this stage. It's been -really- nice talking to you."

                  Added by employeeNumbaOne employeeNumbaOne about 9 years ago

                    4

                    Liquidity Event

                    Founders start off owning the entire company.
                    Then they convince VCs to buy some of it, and they use that money to pay themselves salaries.
                    Then the VCs convince either retail investors or a megacorporation to buy the company, and that's a liquidity event.

                    This sounds like a pyramid scheme, but trust me, it isn't.

                    Employees can't do anything with their stock options until a liquidity event.

                    Added by employeeNumbaOne employeeNumbaOne about 9 years ago

                      5

                      Enterprise

                      Adj. -- a synonym for "takes longer, but for way more money"

                      Sales: "The enterprise sales cycle takes months, but we're talking about whales here."
                      Engineer: "The enterprise module is going to be a huge effort, but if you're sure it'll be worth it..."

                      Manager: "All right, we've IPO'd now. It's time to adhere to enterprise process standards."
                      Sales & Engineering: "Does that mean we get raises?"

                      Added by employeeNumbaOne employeeNumbaOne about 9 years ago

                        6

                        MVP

                        The "minimum viable product" is exactly like the product you had in mind, except with fewer features and more bugs.

                        Founder: "We're going to validate the market with our MVP."
                        Engineer: "Sweet!"

                        Added by employeeNumbaOne employeeNumbaOne about 9 years ago

                        8

                        Noncompete Agreement

                        Any agreement by which:
                        - The employee pretends they won't go work for the competition.
                        - The employer pretends it's enforceable in the State of California.

                        Engineer #1: "They wanted me to sign a noncompete."
                        Engineers: "AHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

                        Added by employeeNumbaOne employeeNumbaOne about 9 years ago

                          6

                          CRUD App

                          An app that can create, read, update, and destroy information.

                          The proverbial hammer, and every single one of your brilliant startup ideas is a nail.

                          You are looking at a CRUD app right now.

                          Added by employeeNumbaOne employeeNumbaOne about 9 years ago

                            2

                            Net 30

                            I hope this fly-by-night startup pays me before my rent check is due.

                            Founder: "And how fast do I need to pay you?"
                            Freelancer: "Oh, it's Net 30."

                            Freelancer crosses fingers for luck.

                            Added by employeeNumbaOne employeeNumbaOne about 9 years ago

                              5

                              Doors of a billionaire

                              Refers to a car belonging to a member of the three comma club with the doors that go up and down instead of side to side.

                              Russ: Do you wanna know what I have?!
                              Russ: A fu**ing car whose doors open like this.
                              Russ: Not like this like this!

                              https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJIAOosI6js

                              Added by svhunt svhunt about 9 years ago

                                10

                                10x Engineer

                                A developer who incurs technical debt so fast he appears more productive than the ten developers tasked with cleaning his mess up.

                                Founder: "We are only looking for 10x Engineers."

                                Added by employeeNumbaOne employeeNumbaOne about 9 years ago

                                  4

                                  Hackathon

                                  A team of sweaty engineers in a cramped coworking space building a product that will never see the light of day. Business and marketing types can assist this effort by bringing caffeinated drinks. Brought to you by Amazon.

                                  At the end, the most vaguely marketable product might get investor attention. If so, it will use AWS forever.

                                  Engineer (excitedly): "I'm going to a hackathon this weekend!"

                                  Engineer (exhaustedly): "I went to a hackathon this weekend."

                                  Added by employeeNumbaOne employeeNumbaOne about 9 years ago

                                    8

                                    Startup Dinner

                                    4 contractors working evenings
                                    $1800

                                    Pizza for 4 full time engineers
                                    $15

                                    "Yes, you can -definitely- expense dinner."

                                    Added by employeeNumbaOne employeeNumbaOne about 9 years ago