Grindr
A male to male friend finding app referenced in the first episode of Silicon Valley in which Erlich Bachman claims to have a 10% stake in.
Little more about me.
I am the founder of Aviato.
And I own a very small percentage of Grindr.
It's a men to men dating site where you can find other men within 10 miles of you.
yungsnuggie almost 9 years agoUndeclared Engineering Student
This person was smart enough to get into the engineering college of a university and yet undecisive enough to not know what he wanted to actually pick.
My name is Jimmy and I'm an undeclared engineering student trying to decide between, BioE, EECS, MechE, and Civil Engineering.
yungsnuggie almost 9 years agoSwaganomics
The condition of an individual or corporation as it regards to the prosperity in direct correlation to free swag earned.
I've studied the Swaganomics of Google, Facebook, and Grindr, and have found that Grindr allocates the greatest net yield of startup swag.
yungsnuggie almost 9 years agoSwag
Clothes and household items given to you by your company to indirectly promote it and create a sense of pride for. To many, it's an unfortunate, but inevitable spending of startup dollars.
I got hired Thursday and Grindr just gave me some awesome swag to celebrate my hire. I got a t-shirt, a coffee mug, a sticker, and protein powder.
yungsnuggie almost 9 years agoCode Ninja
A euphemism that is used by Bay Area recruiters who don't actually know what in specific they want in a Software Engineer, just someone who can pretty much do everything and anything that's handed to them.
We're looking to recruit the best Code Ninjas possible for our startup of 4 currently employed non-technical founders. Free pizza will be provided on Wednesdays.
yungsnuggie almost 9 years ago
Hockey Stick Growth
We are wildly overoptimistic about our future growth prospects.
Our growth rate may look linear (some would say flat), but that's how most of a hockey stick looks. Once we hit that curve, we'll blow up!
ryporter almost 9 years agoDemocratization
Our product allows the general public to do something more easily than they could before, regardless of whether that involves democracy in any sense of the word.
Through our revolutionary web app, people can now sell their unused scraps of food online, thus democratizing the food distribution process.
ryporter almost 9 years ago
Exit Strategy
Plan you must devise with your employees in case a competitor starts attacking your office in an attempt to obtain your most secret information. If you care about the safety of the people you employ, it is very important that you have an exit strategy.
Employee: They're breaking the perimeter! What do we do?
Employee 2: We should give in and hand over the algorithm!
Boss Dude: NO- remember the exit strategy! Mark- prepare the flamethrower, Hillary- do you remember how to fly the helicopter?
zander almost 9 years agoChurn Rate
Refers to the speed at which you can churn butter. Interns are often graded on this criteria. Higher churn rate makes you more legit in the valley.
Intern: do I really have to churn all of this butter?
Boss: yes it is vital for our equitable stability consumer vision internet of things platform.
zander almost 9 years agoLifestyle Business
A lifestyle business is a business that is set up and run by its founders primarily with the aim of sustaining a particular level of income and no more; or to provide a foundation from which to enjoy a particular lifestyle.
i.e. Not "Crushing It"
Mike: They had so many paying customers that they were able to become a lifestyle business!
Jon: I'm so sorry to hear that.
mike almost 9 years agoSelf made entrepreneur
A label meaning that an entrepreneur has come from nothing, has not inherited their wealth or startup. A lot of entrepreneurs have found a loophole because while inheriting a lot of money disqualifies one from being self made, receiving a shit ton of money and connections from your parents while they are alive doesn't.
John: How did you possibly hire 50 people without any VC funding. You told me you were self made?
Lyman: My dad gave me a ton of money and connections. Does that count?
zazpowered almost 9 years agoGet Shit Done
A phrase taking to mean "fuck everything you learned in CS class and code like Jack Kerouac until we get the release out"
Eric(CTO): Guys its time to "get shit done". Stop writing tests and let's just crank this thing out. Eric (CTO): Drew likes to "get shit done". I wish more of you developers could crank out KLOC's like him.
stevebot almost 9 years agoIncredible opportunity
White lie to claim that an unknown number of users are having sleepless nights dreaming of your idea.
This is an incredible opportunity to make a difference in the life horny males by providing them a life sized doll.
beenpoor almost 9 years agoAgile
A term start ups use to justify any corner cutting they have to take to "get shit done"
Jon (developer): Why did you take away all our desks and chairs and replace them with card-board boxes?
Kelly (developer): Why the fuck did we let Drew write this shitty ass module?
Eric (CTO): Jon, we have to be more Agile. Those desks and chairs are paying for one extra EC2 core.
Eric (CTO): We have to be Agile and move at the speed of business. Drew "got shit done".
stevebot almost 9 years agoAwesome Journey
Used when a startup has failed. Intend to give a positive spin on what is a gut wrenching moment.
While our startup has failed, it has been an awesome journey.
beenpoor almost 9 years agoAka a Medium post.
Also known as an "Incredible Journey", as in http://ourincrediblejourney.tumblr.com/
Solving Own Problem
A bullshit story founders present to lie on how they arrived at their product.
We built datemycate app because we wanted to solve our own problem to help our cat find a date. He was very horny all the time and was always flirty with my girlfriend.
beenpoor almost 9 years agoSWOT Analysis
SWOT is a planning method used to evaluate the strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats of an idea or decision. Jared is ridiculed by the other members of Pied Piper on Silicon Valley for suggesting SWOT because they think it is corporate and a waste of time.
"I've booby trapped the house with corporate resources"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XfB0g_JDIds
zazpowered almost 9 years agoUnicorn
A startup valued at over $1 billion dollars. Also a mythical horse-like creature with a single horn on its forehead.
Founder 1: I'm now the proud CEO of a Unicorn after our latest Series D
Founder 2: Ugh, Unicorns are so 2012. It's all about the Decacorns now.
ssc242 almost 9 years ago
Also used oddly and inappropriately by non-Asians as term of endearment to their Asian-American friends.