5

Shaving Yaktoseconds

An amalgam of "yak shaving" and "shaving yoctoseconds". This line is commonly mistranscribed as "shaving yoctoseconds".

"Yoctoseconds" - Second smallest unit of time, above the Planck time.

"Yak shaving" - A term often used by programmers to mean a chain of useless activity that is prerequisite to a desired task. Can also mean intentional non-essential procrastination.

References:

https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/yak_shaving
http://programmers.stackexchange.com/questions/34775/correct-definition-of-the-term-yak-shaving

The line in the show could be interpreted as the team toiling away at even the most miniscule and seemingly-useless tasks to achieve tiny speed improvements.

"We're about shaving yaktoseconds off latency for every layer in the stack." -Gilfoyle

Added by derek9458 derek9458 almost 9 years ago

    15

    Jian Yang

    A character on the Silicon Valley show that represents your stereotypical asian engineer in the Silicon Valley world. Jian Yang is from China and is often misunderstood due to cultural differences and language barriers.

    Jian Yang: Which is for burning?
    Erlich: We don't burn trash in this country. It's illegal.
    Jian Yang: What about garbage?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YUBpqOdF3i0

    The actor for Jian Yang, Jimmy Yang doing standup: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9_UyvGIeXW0

    Added by zazpowered zazpowered almost 9 years ago

      6

      Tech Stars

      An incubator people apply to when getting rejected from YC. They aren't definitively worst it just always happens to be your second choice every time.

      I gotta move to Boston now that we got into Tech Stars and need a semi reputable incubator.

      Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 9 years ago

        3

        A Berkeley 3O

        The equivalent of a 4.0 GPA at the majority of top schools. Why the majority of Berkeley students have a hard time justifying their donations as alumni.

        I gotta a 3O this quarter. I love Stanford.

        Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 9 years ago

          5

          Philz Coffee

          A coffee brand that Bay Area engineers and investors drink because Starbucks is too mainstream. They think their consuming premium beans, when really it's all based on multi-bean combinations that no one in their right mind can tell the difference between. Because they secretly know this they ask if you'd like cream and sugar (aka Philz Way)

          Zeeshan: Can I try your Ambarosia?
          Matt: Sure, let me try your Tesora.
          Zeeshan: Wow I taste a more buttery aftertaste in yours.
          Matt: Woah is that a hint of Blueberry.
          Justin: You guys are both full of shit. They taste exactly the same. This is Philz Coffee, not Blue Bottle.

          Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 9 years ago

            8

            Bitcoin

            An internet exchange currency originally used on Silk Road that silicon valley entrepreneurs and investors don't want failing because their startup revolves around it. These same people rarely use it on a day to day basis.

            Jimmy: My startup lets you pay for ice cream using Bitcoin.
            Jerry: Awesome, as the founder of a Bitcoin company how many Bitcoins do you actually own?
            Jimmy: 0

            Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 9 years ago

              4

              Steve Jobs

              The subject of Hollywood biopics and Silicon Valley biographies for the next couple decades. People on the internet (computer programmers in particular) complain about they are after paying money to see it.

              He is also the founder of Apple Computer and Pixar Inc.

              Hey Jimmy I'm sad because every Steve Jobs movie I watch is the same thing.
              - YOUNG STEVE JOBS DOING PSYCHIADELICS
              - HE'S BACK FROM INDIA (WOAH HOW RANDOM HES A VEGETARIAN NOW)
              - STEVE JOBS LOOKING AT STEVE WOZNIAK WITH HIS MOUTH WATERING ABOUT HOW HE CAN SELL WHAT WOZ IS BUILDING
              - STEVE JOBS HAS AN ILLIGENTIAMTE CHILD (WOAH HE NAMES THE COMPUTER AFTER IT LATER?!)
              - STEVE JOBS YELLS AT SOME GUY WHO PROBABLY DOESN'T DESERVE IT. SOME GUY GETS MAD AT STEVE JOBS SAYING HE'S OUT OF LINE
              - STEVE JOBS HIRES THE CEO OF PEPSI (DO YOU WANT TO SELL SUGAR WATER FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, WOAH HOW COOL)
              - STEVE JOBS IS FIRED AND SCREAMS WHILE DRIVING HIS CAR HOME
              - STEVE JOBS STARTS ANOTHER COMPANY AND ACTS LIKE A SMUG BASTARD WHEN THE COMPANY IS DOING SHITTY
              - STEVE JOBS GOES BACK TO THE COMPANY AND IT DOES WELL (DISCREETLY ALLUDE TO THE IPOD)
              - THROW IN SOMETHING ABOUT CALLIGRAPHY, WOZ EATING A HOTDOG, AND SOME DRAMATIC QUOTES TAKEN OUT OF CONTEXT AND FADE TO BLACK

              Let's watch Jurassic World instead because Dinosaurs.

              Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 9 years ago

                4

                Startup T-shirts

                When you combine poor college students, too lazy to do laundry with free startup branded t-shirts you get the greatest growth hack in Silicon Valley. It's a win win for everybody.

                Chris: You realize by wearing that Dropbox t-shirt you are providing free advertising for them right?
                Kilim: I have nothing else to wear though.

                Added by zazpowered zazpowered almost 9 years ago

                  29

                  Silicon Valley Billionaire

                  Silicon Valley Billionaires tend to be younger, poorer dressed and generally less douchey than billionaires from other areas. Some are so poorly dressed that it is often hard to distinguish one from a hobo. In New York, a 23 year old scrawny male with t-shirt and jeans might be told to fuck off at a Lambourhini dealership but the same thing would never happen in Silicon Valley.

                  Sales person: Do you think I should even talk to that guy over there. It doesn't look like he can afford a car.
                  2nd sales person: That's Mark Zuckerberg

                  Added by zazpowered zazpowered almost 9 years ago

                    5

                    Ron Conway

                    One of the most successful startup angel investors in Silicon Valley and the head of SV Angel in Palo Alto. He went to San Jose State, likes to drink diet coke, and invested in Google, Facebook, Twitter, Square, Pinterest, and many others.

                    It's no secret that Paul Graham secretly aspires to be Ron Conway by the way his eyes beam feverishly whenever interviewing him.

                    Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 9 years ago

                      9

                      Y Combinator

                      A label you add to your startup's intro (if chosen) that your company exchanges 7% of protected equity to arbitrary increase your valuation with.

                      After getting accepted from Y Combinator, my 3 man team from [insert top 5 engineering school here], we launched our [insert undeveloped idea that sounds good on paper here], and raised 1.5 million dollars from Demo Day because we're changing the world.

                      Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 9 years ago

                      • charlesjo charlesjo

                        Possibly more valuable label than Stanford in the startup world.

                        2
                        Reply
                        almost 9 years ago
                      7

                      Jack Dorsey

                      Founder of Square and Twitter. He reads alot of books on self-improvement and tries to build a zen-like culture within the work place like a poor man's Phil Jackson.

                      Jack Dorsey made us hold hands after the meeting today in a circle. It was awkward because I hear Stacy doesn't wash her hands after going to the bathroom.

                      Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 9 years ago

                        6

                        Codecademy

                        The default answer lazy software engineers give to their non-techinical friends, when asked what the best way to learn how to code is.

                        Jimmy: You're such a good programmer. I want to learn how to code, but already have this Haas degree and can't go back to college. What can I do to learn today?

                        Bobby: I don't know man, google it. I hear Codecademy is a thing. I just want to go back to playing DOTA.

                        Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 9 years ago

                          10

                          Growth Hacking

                          Growth hacking is a buzzword journalists and marketers shamelessly use to describe marketing techniques that uses internet applications in non-traditional ways. It makes the person saying it seem as if they've mastered a skill traditional marketers haven't caught on to. Although this is incredibly important aspect for startups it is pretty much a douchier way of saying marketing.

                          Studying various growth hacking techniques, Jimmy decided to email a million people Dogecoins with his companies name at the bottom of the email to increase exposure.

                          Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 9 years ago

                            3

                            Apple Newton

                            A discontinued personal digital assistant that Apple Inc. created in 1987 that is often used as a cliche to justify how companies fail before they are successful or are sometimes ahead of their time.

                            I created Grindr back in the early 2000s. It's incrediby popular today, but back then nobody thought twice of using it. It was our companies Apple Newton.

                            Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 9 years ago

                              5

                              Beauty Disadvantage Phenomenon

                              Outside of Silicon Valley good looking people tend to make more money and are seen as more competent. Within Silicon Valley (and this might only apply to technical roles) the opposite is true. Perception of an engineer's technical prowess is inversely related to how good they look. This phenomenon affects women multiplicatively.

                              Could be the cause of Software engineer uniform (http://svdictionary.com/words/software-engineer-uniform)

                              Kilim: Damn a pretty girl just joined our team. We will have to carry her load.
                              Matthew: Wow. I guess the beauty disadvantage phenomenon is real.

                              Added by zazpowered zazpowered almost 9 years ago

                                12

                                Which Steve?

                                A question often posed my computer programmers who seek to make a point that Steve Wozniak could write code and Steve Jobs couldn't (making him the superior founder in their minds). It's often used to indirectly defend their own insecurities in their lack in ability to communicate with other human beings or make things that people actually want.

                                Erlich: When I sold my company, Aviato, I wanted to give back. That's why I started this place, to do something big. To make a difference. You know, like Steve.
                                Richard: Uh, Jobs or Wozniak?
                                Richard: Steve Jobs or Steve...
                                Erlich: Oh, I heard you.
                                Richard: Which one?
                                Erlich: Jobs.
                                Richard: I mean, Jobs was a poser. He didn't even write code.

                                Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 9 years ago

                                  5

                                  Software Engineer Uniform

                                  What software engineers tend to wear. Consists of a badly fitting plain or graphic t-shirt or polo and a badly fitting light blue pair of jeans. The best engineers also wear sandals with socks

                                  Rachel: Jesus christ what is John wearing?
                                  David: Are you new to Silicon Valley? That's the software engineer uniform.

                                  Added by zazpowered zazpowered almost 9 years ago

                                    4

                                    Rebillionizing

                                    To renter the 3 comma club. Made popular by Russ Hanneman on Silicon Valley.

                                    Russ: Due to some bad investments I joined the 2 comma club but Pied Piper will help me rebillionize shortly
                                    https://youtu.be/xzMUrB-Um1Y?t=92

                                    Added by zazpowered zazpowered almost 9 years ago

                                      10

                                      The Woz

                                      Legendary Apple Co-Founder and alumni of UC Berkeley rumored to have mystical power beyond human understanding. A lounge in UC Berkeley's Soda Hall is named after him in his honor.

                                      The Woz has somehow managed to outlive his co-founder Steve Jobs, who ironically cared alot more about his diet and health than he did. I wonder what he knows that the world doesn't.

                                      Added by covfefelord covfefelord almost 9 years ago