LinkedIn Definitions

20

Innovator

A catch-all euphemism for "douchebag." Frequently used to a) describe one's self in a Twitter bio/LinkedIn headline or b) describe others when you're not really sure what they do exactly, but it probably has something to do with disruption or artisanal donuts or growth hacking or some shit.

Your LinkedIn headline: "Innovator/CEO of Douche, The World's First Ephemeral Craft Beer Wearable."

Added by supernovanGirl supernovanGirl about 2 years ago

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14

The LinkedIn Endorsement Burn

Passive aggressively endorsing someone on LinkedIn for a menial skill such as Microsoft Word, while purposely ignoring their more relevant talents in things like Ruby on Rails or Objective C in an attempt to belittle them.

Gilfoil got LinkedIn endorsement burned by Zeeshan when he purposely decided to only endorse him for Microsoft Powerpoint, even though he's a senior engineer at Pied Piper with a wide array of talents.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie about 2 years ago

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9

Janitor at startup

The title an asshole CEO (generally a sole founder) puts on their Linkedin title to show they have the ability to fire anybody.

Random dude: Where do you work?
Albert: I am at the greatest game company around called BigVikingGames
Random dude: Cool, what do you do there?
Albert: I am the janitor, I just take out the trash!
Random dude: cool story bro

Added by timferris timferris about 2 years ago

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6

Post-LinkedIn Instacrushing

Being attracted to someone only after seeing their LinkedIn.

Jake: Did you know that Julia is employed at Square and got a 2300 SAT score when she was in High School? I'm in love with her.
George: Shut up Jake. You're so shallow, your just Post-LinkedIn Instacrushing on her.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie about 2 years ago

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5

The LinkedIn Endorsement Poke

When someone you barely know adds you on LinkedIn and endorses you for skills they don't even know you have in an attempt to get attention or get you to endorse them for stuff back.

I hate adding people on LinkedIn because I get LinkedIn Endorsement pokes as soon as I add people. I'm an Android developer and for some reason I have 40 more endorsements for Objective C then I do Android.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie about 2 years ago

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5

Microsoft Word

A skill people add to their Linkedin profile that instantly tells you, with 100% accuracy, that they are not tech savvy.

Harold: I have Microsoft Word and Excel listed on my Linkedin profile with approximately 50 endorsements each and I'm not getting any responses to my tech job applications. Did I apply with the wrong email?

Added by zazpowered zazpowered about 2 years ago

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4

Linkedin Recommendation

Something you write in response to a Linkedin recommendation you receive or if you want to receive a new Linkedin recommendation.

Arrel: You know, I could just ask David for a Linkedin recommendation but I found the most efficient way is to just recommend them and wait for the kickback recommendation

Added by zazpowered zazpowered about 2 years ago

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3

Janitor at startup

Sometimes startup founders or executives will use this as their title to appear humble but it ends up being super obnoxious.

Matthew: why are you listed as janitor on LinkedIn aren't you the CEO?
Kilim: Oh I just wanted people to ask me about it so I can tell them my real position.

Added by zazpowered zazpowered about 2 years ago

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