yungsnuggie
yungsnuggie (1278)

5

Berkeley Engineer

An engineer that graduated from UC Berkeley, pretty nerdy, not interested in starting their own company

Travis: Hey I have an idea for a new taxi service, do you want to join as a cofounder?
Kilim: No I think I want to work for google. It's very prestigious.

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 4 years ago

7

This Guy Fucks

Made popular by Russ Hanneman on the Silicon Valley show. It is just something to say when you want to mess with somebody. Meaningless. Could also mean this guy has a lot of sex but its impossible to tell.

http://peal.io/p/this-guy-fucks-am-i-right

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 4 years ago

46

This changes everything

Nothing has changed. Pure marketing

See http://svdictionary.com/words/changing-the-world

Introducing the iPhone 4. This changes everything.

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 4 years ago

54

Fuck you money

When you make enough money from a startup or job that you can basically do whatever you want. Usually from equity after a liquidity event.

Engineering manager: Congrats on the IPO everybody. See you guys on Monday.
Engineer: I'm not sure about that
Manager: You think you can do whatever you want now you have that fuck you money?
Engineer: Sorry sir. I just got a little excited

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 4 years ago

6

Haashole

A student pursuing an undergraduate, Masters, or PhD degree from UC Berkeley's Haas School of Business.

I don't know whether to add Derrick to our Hackathon team. He's just a Haashole who tries too hard and doesn't understand how anything works. He's a great bullshiter though so maybe he would be useful for the presentation.

Added by covfefelord covfefelord over 4 years ago

10

The Woz

Legendary Apple Co-Founder and alumni of UC Berkeley rumored to have mystical power beyond human understanding. A lounge in UC Berkeley's Soda Hall is named after him in his honor.

The Woz has somehow managed to outlive his co-founder Steve Jobs, who ironically cared alot more about his diet and health than he did. I wonder what he knows that the world doesn't.

Added by covfefelord covfefelord over 4 years ago

15

Jian Yang

A character on the Silicon Valley show that represents your stereotypical asian engineer in the Silicon Valley world. Jian Yang is from China and is often misunderstood due to cultural differences and language barriers.

Jian Yang: Which is for burning?
Erlich: We don't burn trash in this country. It's illegal.
Jian Yang: What about garbage?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YUBpqOdF3i0

The actor for Jian Yang, Jimmy Yang doing standup: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9_UyvGIeXW0

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 4 years ago

5

Yottabyte

A very large number of bytes. 10^24 bytes to be exact, but this term can never be used in serious context, so it doesn't really matter.

Dude 1: Dude how much porn do you have on there?
Dude 2: Yottabytes dude.

Added by zander zander over 4 years ago

26

Crushing it

Achieving exceptional success with something.

Jess is totally crushing it with her new Uber-for-VC-funding app. She's already been hunted.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CcS-zlgj4ak

Added by Travis Travis over 4 years ago

29

Stack

Refers to the variety of technologies used to build and maintain your website, app, or service. Might also refer to a large amount of pancakes.

Son: Hey pops, wanna throw another stack on my plate? Pass the syrup too.
Pops: No son, your stack needs to maintainable, don't let your code base get out of control!

Added by zander zander over 4 years ago

55

Engineer Unicorn

An engineer that is competent, good looking, dresses well and is not socially awkward.

John: How come no other engineers are like David?
Mary: He's an engineer unicorn. They are rare.

Added by pygmyknight pygmyknight over 4 years ago

36

Uber of...

Commonly used by startup founders to compare their mediocre startup or idea to the startup unicorn Uber.

Startup Founder: We're the Uber of food delivery.
VC: Uhhh... so is everyone else.

Added by ssc242 ssc242 over 4 years ago

33

Awesome Journey

Used when a startup has failed. Intend to give a positive spin on what is a gut wrenching moment.

While our startup has failed, it has been an awesome journey.

Added by beenpoor beenpoor over 4 years ago

4

Churn Rate

Refers to the speed at which you can churn butter. Interns are often graded on this criteria. Higher churn rate makes you more legit in the valley.

Intern: do I really have to churn all of this butter?
Boss: yes it is vital for our equitable stability consumer vision internet of things platform.

Added by zander zander over 4 years ago

3

Exit Strategy

Plan you must devise with your employees in case a competitor starts attacking your office in an attempt to obtain your most secret information. If you care about the safety of the people you employ, it is very important that you have an exit strategy.

Employee: They're breaking the perimeter! What do we do?
Employee 2: We should give in and hand over the algorithm!
Boss Dude: NO- remember the exit strategy! Mark- prepare the flamethrower, Hillary- do you remember how to fly the helicopter?

Added by zander zander over 4 years ago

13

Social Media

The first team to be downsized when you run out of funding.

Our social media manager was let go after she accidentally posted that Reddit thread to Twitter.

Added by firasd firasd over 4 years ago

89

Waterloo

A mythical University in Canada where many good Engineers and Computer Scientists come from.

Sam: "Where are all these Canadians from?"
Matthew: "We hired 10 interns and 20 full-times from Waterloo. They get shit done because if we don't hire them, they'll have to work for Blackberry."

Added by robert robert over 4 years ago

52

Early Employee

A founder who will take 1% of the company instead of 25%. This is a polite way of saying "sucker."

CEO: "We couldn't have done it without a few great early employees."

Added by employeeNumbaOne employeeNumbaOne over 4 years ago

10

Lean Domaining

Is a strategy used by scrappy startup founders to acquire domains from domain squatters for the lowest price possible. You email the squatter under the guise of a young boy trying to set up a website for his local church group. By using bad grammar (and just sounding dumb in general) you need to sell to the squatter how little money you have, how much hardship you are going through and how much that website will mean to your community. After selling you the domain, the squatter may read your $35m Series A on Techcrunch but that's just business.

hey john,

I'm new to the internet i sw that you own cars.com. my church group has made me in charge of setting up a web page. I heard that geocities would be a good place to start. u recommend perl? anyways i have $50. please help me out

Timmy

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 4 years ago

59

Non-technical Cofounder

A Wharton MBA who will overestimate the value of his idea and underestimate the value of the person who will implement it. Often wonders why his technical cofounders leave him and the apps they build look like shit and get hacked all the time.

Non-technical Cofounder: Why do all these technical cofounders leave me? Did they not see the MBA from Wharton in my email? I'm telling you right now, I know how to write a business plan. I even offered the last guy 10% of my company.

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 4 years ago