yungsnuggie
yungsnuggie (1281)

13

Social Media

The first team to be downsized when you run out of funding.

Our social media manager was let go after she accidentally posted that Reddit thread to Twitter.

Added by firasd firasd over 9 years ago

    3

    Exit Strategy

    Plan you must devise with your employees in case a competitor starts attacking your office in an attempt to obtain your most secret information. If you care about the safety of the people you employ, it is very important that you have an exit strategy.

    Employee: They're breaking the perimeter! What do we do?
    Employee 2: We should give in and hand over the algorithm!
    Boss Dude: NO- remember the exit strategy! Mark- prepare the flamethrower, Hillary- do you remember how to fly the helicopter?

    Added by zander zander over 9 years ago

      5

      Ponyfill

      A safe polyfill which doesn’t modify global objects and, as a polyfill, uses the native implementation if it is available. Coined by Sindre Sorhus, who has made many of them.

      Bob: And we'll just throw this in as an ES6 polyfill....
      Jack: No - it's a ponyfill - don't mix them up. See the `unicorn | approved` tag in the README? Yes, ponyfill - not polyfill.

      Added by dc2 dc2 about 9 years ago

        10

        Erlich Bachman

        A man of the hour. He sold his company Aviato. Now, he runs an incubator out of his house which also happens to be where Pied Piper is headquartered in. He invested in a few other ideas which never came to fruition. He played a critical role in coming up with an innovative and truly disruptive dick jerk algorithm.

        In season two, he helps Richard raise a seed round by going around negging a bunch of investors.

        There's no need for an example. He is the verb, noun and the everything else that matters in this world.

        Just watch this, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l9_PfruyLlU enough said.

        Added by svhunt svhunt over 9 years ago

          3

          Chris Bosh

          An NBA basketball player that promoted computer science in a code.org video. Some people are skeptical that a 6'10 power forward making 20m a year is coding in his free time but its possible.

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5oHe0ozN7Oc

          Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 9 years ago

            4

            Ride Sharing Tension

            The tension a user of Uber Pool or Lyft Line feels when they feel obligated to make small talk with other passengers.

            "Shit he's right next to me. Do I need to talk to him? It's already been 5 minutes since he got into the car though. Dammit I'm using regular Uber next time."

            Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 9 years ago

              3

              Git

              A version control system used by everybody. If you don't use it, you're probably a git.

              Joe: I don't use git.
              Bill: You're a git.

              Added by zander zander over 9 years ago

                2

                TLA Departments

                Short for "Three Letter Acronym": A department of a company that does not have any apparent function at all.
                Groups like this are usually created by trendy management fads.

                Added by iamDeveloper iamDeveloper about 9 years ago

                  3

                  Slack Zero

                  Refers to when you've gone through all the notifications on slack.

                  Ryan Hoover: Slack zero is the new Inbox zero -> https://twitter.com/rrhoover/status/625870303940362244

                  Added by svhunt svhunt about 9 years ago

                    9

                    Ramen Profitable

                    When a startup makes enough money to pay for the founders' living expenses. To read more check out Paul Graham's post on it

                    Matthew: Just because it's called ramen profitable doesn't mean you need to be eating ramen all the time. There are other foods in the same price range.
                    Kilim: Wait I don't?

                    Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 9 years ago

                      2

                      Dressing the part

                      When an engineer that normally wears contact lenses puts on glasses for a job interview or pitch meeting.

                      See http://svdictionary.com/words/software-engineer-uniform

                      Jennifer: You seriously think wearing glasses is going to help you get funded?
                      David: It's called dressing the part and it works so stop talking.

                      Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 9 years ago

                        5

                        Maven

                        The go-to self-descriptor for social media marketing professionals in their 20-somethings. They, like, totally know social media and can tweet for your brand and stuff. Used interchangeably with guru, expert, ninja, etc.

                        I went through these résumés and threw out anyone who referred to themselves as a "social media maven."

                        Added by supernovanGirl supernovanGirl over 9 years ago

                          5

                          Scrappy

                          A word used by startup founders to justify the unethical tactics they use to grow their companies.

                          Jen: Did you really just scrape all of that site's content and then email their users to promote your own website? Omg thats so admirable. You're so scrappy

                          Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 9 years ago

                            5

                            Hovering Art Director

                            Anyone who stands over you and tells you to do something on your screen.
                            Originates from ad marketing but applies to design and development.

                            Ted: "Click on that and drag it to the left. Great, now move that down. More. More. Good."
                            Nancy: "Stop smudging my screen, you hovering art director!"

                            Added by RobotCowboy RobotCowboy over 9 years ago

                              7

                              Rubber Duck Debugging

                              Many programmers have had the experience of explaining a programming problem to someone else, possibly even to someone who knows nothing about programming, and then hitting upon the solution in the process of explaining the problem. In describing what the code is supposed to do and observing what it actually does, any incongruity between these two becomes apparent.

                              "Hey dude, are you talking to someone?" Nah dude, I'm just rubber duck debugging. "Oh cool, thought you were crazy."

                              Added by Spshulem Spshulem over 9 years ago

                                3

                                Pain Points

                                The parts of your (imagined, potential) customer's business process that makes him/her want to jam their sushi chopsticks up their nose and slam his/her head onto his/her desk.

                                The parts of your new technology you created that make your customers reach for the chopsticks. They're totally forgotten by you, because your kludge to work around them have become an invisible habit (unknown knowns).

                                Reporter: "What happened to this one, doc?"
                                Coroner: "Another double, trans-nasal frontal lobotomy. His pain point was trying to paste an Excel spreadsheet into a web-based ERP system."

                                Added by FuctCo5K FuctCo5K over 9 years ago

                                  7

                                  Culture Reset

                                  The CEO's or CTO's reason for firing half of the engineering department.

                                  "Steve, with our new culture reset, we're going to have to let you go. You just didn't fit the culture."

                                  Added by planningtime planningtime over 9 years ago

                                    10

                                    Who's Hiring

                                    A once-a-month opportunity for startups and tech companies get their grimy hands on the website HackerNews and post their job listings. Qualifications often include being a code ninja (http://svdictionary.com/words/code-ninja) or a 10x engineer (http://svdictionary.com/words/10x-engineer) for little pay and long hours because you get equity, yo.

                                    HackerNews: 'Who's hiring?'
                                    Every startup: 'we are and we're the best bc of culture and stuff, yo.'

                                    Added by zander zander over 9 years ago

                                      13

                                      Zero Billion

                                      Any amount under 1 billion, rendering you off of Forbes billionaire's list, if you round down.

                                      I'm not a billionaire anymore. I'm a nine-hundred-and-eighty-sixionaire, which isn't even a fucking thing. If you round down, I have zero billion.

                                      Added by mczajka mczajka over 9 years ago

                                        3

                                        Startup Founder

                                        Something you put in your Twitter bio or Linkedin profile when you are starting a stealth company and cannot announce your company to the public but also don't want to miss out on an opportunity to tell other people that you are entrepreneur. The alternative being waiting for your company to be launched before putting it on your Twitter or Linkedin profile

                                        Startup founder. Working on a Bitcoin startup

                                        Added by zazpowered zazpowered almost 9 years ago