yungsnuggie (1281)
Does anyone make money around here?
Users of venture backed startups and residents of Silicon Valley ask this question frequently. They do not understand how a lot of social apps such as Snapchat and Facebook (before they started to run ads) are able to raise so much money at sky high valuations without generating revenue.
For on demand services such as Uber, Instacart and Caviar they do not understand how signup credit, promo codes and referral credit can be offered so frequently.
Jim: Let me get this straight. Snapchat is worth $10 billion now and they haven't made any money? Just now I read Uber is offering $100 signup credit, $50 credit for every friend I refer and a one time promo code of $20 off of my first ride. Does anyone make money around here? Tim: You realize Uber has raised $1 billion dollars every month for the past 12 months right?
zazpowered over 9 years agoStartup 15
Similar to Freshman 15 except this weight gain is caused by alcohol and catered meals that your startup offers you.
John: My startup needs to stop feeding me. I already have Startup 15 but luckily there's a gym at work.
zazpowered over 9 years agoBAD
Broken As Designed: A product fails to perform as expected, because the company making it intentionally did it that way (either from misunderstanding, or on purpose)
Windows 95's auto-redial being limited to 100 redials.
iamDeveloper over 9 years agoBoat Anchor
Computer so obsolete, It no longer Serves a purpose (i.e. Apple III's)
"Whoa! That's a boat anchor."
iamDeveloper over 9 years agoI think you get it a little wrong. 'Apple-III' is a COLLECTOR'S item/VINTAGE & hence it is not used generally or it does not serves the purpose in present time. So both Apple-III and 286 PC are Boat Anchors. :)
Re-Engineering Alchemist
A practitioner of sophisticated techniques to help one overcome deeply rooted personal limitations leading to a golden transformation.
Victor Escalante is an International Personal and Corporate Consultant who has helped thousands of individuals overcome deeply rooted personal limitations. His acumen for personal change has earned him the title, The Re-Engineering Alchemist.
tallenhanes about 9 years agoHumorification
Like gamification except you add elements of humor to your product to make it more interesting and engaging.
Tim: What does Agile mean? I hate reading dictionaries I feel like I'm back in college.
Chris: http://svdictionary.com/words/agile
Tim: Wow that's amazing. I'm going to visit this site everyday
zazpowered over 9 years agoIPO
Stands for initial public offering and is when the stock of a company becomes available to the public for purchase.
Jim: Half of my company has now left after our IPO because of all the fuck you money generated
pygmyknight over 9 years agoBug
A bug is a flaw in software that causes an unintended result. Most bugs arise from errors in written code, rather than from a computer itself. Due to the prevalence of engineer-created bugs, some programmers sardonically refer to their bugs as "surprise features".
Albert: Is there a bug in your code? I can't log into my account.
Justin: That's a feature. The site is telling you to go outside and take walk.
xmangoslushie over 9 years agoSan Francisco
The city of San Francisco is one the most famous cities in the Bay Area, home to the SF Giants, hipsters, a thriving LGBT community, and enough fog to make you consider suicide, commonly referred to as "The City". When non Bay Area natives talk about the Bay Area, they're either talking about SF or Silicon Valley.
Alex: Yo man, you doing something later? It's Friday.
Kim: Yea I'm thinking about heading to The City later for some drinks, probably near Nob Hill or something.
Alex: Sounds chill. Can I come?
Kim: I don't know if it's your scene. The place has pretty hipster bars. They all have PBR on tap for $5 a pint.
xmangoslushie over 9 years agoLow Engagement Shame
The shame that people of the internet generation feel after they add a piece of content to a social network and there is little or no engagement. This can be likes and comments on Facebook/Instagram or favorites and retweets on Twitter.
David: I uploaded a selfie 10 minutes ago and nobody has liked it yet. Did I use a bad filter? What is going on? I need to delete this right away
zazpowered over 9 years agoMan Jose
Man Jose refers to the city of San Jose, located within Silicon Valley, which contains a large number of male Software Engineers.
Sam: Why can't I find a nice girl to go out with?
Mark: What did you expect? You live in Man Jose.
xmangoslushie over 9 years agoProtective Incompetence
Being bad at something you don't like to do, so you don't have to do it.
> I think the reason I made such a mystery of business was that I was disgusted by the idea of doing it. I wanted to work in the pure, intellectual world of software, not deal with customers' mundane problems. People who don't want to get dragged into some kind of work often develop a protective incompetence at it. Paul Erdos was particularly good at this. By seeming unable even to cut a grapefruit in half (let alone go to the store and buy one), he forced other people to do such things for him, leaving all his time free for math. Erdos was an extreme case, but most husbands use the same trick to some degree.
adamzerner over 9 years agoTitle Promotion
A title promotion is a like a normal promotion, except without any increase in compensation, whether salary or otherwise. This is typically used to make engineers feel more important and get them to do more work without actually paying them for it.
Calvin: I just got promoted to Senior Software Engineer! I get to manage a team and maintain existing code!
Jerry: Are you getting paid more?
Calvin: No, but think of how exciting this opportunity is!
Jerry: ...
xmangoslushie over 9 years agoEmail Bankruptcy
When an inbox has thousands of unread emails, and the best solution is to just mass-delete rather than spending days combing through them.
If you really tried to read and respond to all of those messages, it might be a very long time before you interacted with another human IRL again.
"My inbox is so overwhelming, I'm declaring email bankruptcy. I'm deleting everything sent before September!"
iamDeveloper over 9 years agoTo Tswift
To call out or threaten to call out a company on social media and have it actually mean something due to your popularity
I know my performance at work hasn't been the best but I think firing me is a little too drastic. Now you know I have 300,000 followers on Twitter. I don't like to do it but I will tswift the company if you don't change your mind.
zazpowered over 9 years agoJunior Software Engineer
An engineer that fixes bugs and writes tests.
Tim: I've just been fixing typos and writing tests for all the shitty code other engineers are putting out. When will I do real work?
Harold: Shut up and keep working
zazpowered over 9 years ago
Do the Needful
Usually coined by Tech workers of East Indian descent, in context means I have to do what I have to do to get the job done or to keep my Boss from firing me.
"Yes, we have to do the Needful to beta test this new code by Friday"
Hammer over 9 years agoOnly applies to esteemed organizations though ;)
Investor Crushing
Learning everything possible about your ideal investors fantasizing about the scenario in which the both of you talk about things you just happen to be interested in.
I've been investor crushing on Marc Andreessen for months now. Whenever I see an egg I get so wet.
HalfLife3 over 9 years ago
Actually the Apple III is a collector's item and sells for hundreds of dollars. The boat anchor you're looking for is the 286 PC.