yungsnuggie
yungsnuggie (1255)

3

Tinder Ghostwriter

Someone who is hired to chat on behalf of others with the intention of getting their employer a date.

I've paid my rent this month by tinder ghostwriting for more than half of the engineering department. The hardest part is convincing them to take pictures of themselves without unlaundered hoodies and mom jeans.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

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3

Christmas Party +1 Crashing

Crashing the extremely low security, high budget christmas parties tech companies throw as a lonely tech employees +1 and meeting people in sometimes their most inebriated state of the year.

I made friends with the C level staff of three companies this year's round of Christmas Party +1 Crashing. I didn't do with the intention of networking to be honest, I just enjoy Christmas parties with my friends..

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

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2

Virtual Christmas

Simulating the perfect holiday on one's VR helmet sitting alone in one's apartment.

http://churchm.ag/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/TheGreatestGift.jpg

I decided to cancel my trip back home, break up with my girlfriend, and have a Virtual Christmas this year.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

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2

VP Of Product

Overseas the vision of the product. Communicates between the C Level executives and the engineering heads to develop a product consistent with the company's values.

Ryan got promoted to VP of Product and now spends most of his time in meetings with the CTO trying to hammer out reasonable trajectories for the company.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

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2

3 Comma Studios

A legendary secret society publicly operating as an app studio in San Francisco, California. While the app studio founders are made public on their website 3CommaStudios.com, its members are kept highly secret, rumored to be having some of the biggest names in tech and venture capital as shadow leaders of a seemingly inconspicuous organization.

It's rumored that every few months the society inducts members by sending them a mysterious black key card with 3 commas embroidered on it. They meet in a secret location and talk about the tech world behind closed doors that open upward like a Lamborghini, not side to side like a Honda Civic. If asked, its members are told to deny their memberships and even scoff at the very thought of it's existence.

The studio's slogan: Do not bite the invisible hand that feeds.

I've heard rumors that Devon was inducted as a member of 3 Comma Studios a few months ago after starting his company. He denies the existence of the organization adamantly. But I saw a black key card with 3 commas in his wallet a few months ago. On top of that he goes out at random times of the night getting dropped home by cars with doors that open upward NOT side to side. Sometimes in the dead of night when I bring it up, he just sticks both his middle fingers up at me and whispers "2 commas be gone" in a trance like state.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

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2

Skywalker Soreness

When your right hand is in such extreme pain from coding or typing that it feels as if it's been cut off by a laser sword.

I waited until the end of the deadline to finish my part of the project and now I have skywalker soreness. I can't do anything with my right hand.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

3

Second-Time Founder Syndrome

The condition associated with former founders who've had success with one company and are stunted by the task of deciding what to work on next with heightened expectations and desires for it to be even bigger. This condition becomes especially petrifying when the founder has seen 1000's of ideas by that point in time, with no coherent pattern of success.

After Erlich Bachman sold his first company Aviato, he developed Second-Time Founder Syndrome and decided to invest in companies like Nip Alert instead until he gained better ground on determining what he wanted to do next.

http://www.themacro.com/articles/2015/12/triplebyte-harjeet-taggar-startup-school-radio/

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

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4

Pre-Funded

An incredibly douchey way of describing a startup that hasn't raised venture capital or angel money. Technically anything you create is pre-funded so using this adjective only serves to show that you are insecure from not having raised money and that you're desperate for attention.

We're a pre-funded startup looking for design hackers that want to get their work into production super early and have a real impact on product.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

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3

Unicorn Graveyard

The metaphorical graveyard that is projected to encompasses the carcasses of tech companies that have raised VC money with high valuations, unable to deliver the value and results that they promised.

Alot of people think that Evernote, Dropbox, and Box will be amoung the departed dug deep into the soil of the unicorn graveyard.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

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3

Design Hackers

This is a term created out of desperation to make graphic designers, animators, or product desginers seem more tech company friendly.

James: What's your sister do?

Marlin: Oh she's a design hacker.

James: So...like a designer?

Marlin: Yeah but nah.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

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3

Three Commas Club

The three comma club is an all exclusive club limited to those whose net worth is valued at a billion dollars or more. The three commas are meant to symbolize the three commas that are present within the billion integer: 1,000,000,000.

My uncle started destroying half of his house out of anger upon finding he was now only worth 980,000,000 dollars and was no longer a member of the Three Comma club.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

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3

Sweat Equity

The equity you put in for your hard work. When an investor uses this term, it's normally a red flag and it becomes obvious that they are probably not a professional investor.

I'm takkkin' 45% percent of your comapany cuz I invested 10k into your app. You divide the other 55% amoung your founders as sweat equity.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

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4

Favorite Baiting

When companies on Twitter like Tweets with specific key words to get you to click on their page.

After taking a picture of my ice cream and hashtagging #ILoveChocolate, I received likes from three interracial dieting Twitter pages trying to favorite bait me

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

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5

VR Critical Mass Prison

A metaphorical prison for people who've dedicated more than 2 years of their lives on Virtual Reality startups whose sole existence in the future depends on VR devices reaching critical mass. If it doesn't, they are screwed.

Jaime quit making iPhone apps and started developing games on VR. He plays hundreds of hours of Team Fortress 2 every week to escape the fact that he is in VR Critical Mass Prison.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

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4

Killing Email

A goal that thousands of startups every year pitch with their "unique" web app. This was mostly done because during a time, 1000's of investors would eat this sort of pitch up.

Jim: We're making a platform that connects Facebook, Twitter, and your phone contacts and lets you message anyone directly. We're killing email.

Zeeshan: Or you're recreating it, but replacing email addresses with social network data?

Jim: #ChangingTheWorld

Zeeshan: ...

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

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3

Rubber Duck Debugging

A method of evaluating and debugging a set of one's code, where a programmer schizophrenically explains his or her logic to a rubber duck, line by line. This is delineated in a popular book called "The Pragmatic Programmer."

Ryan: I can't tell if Satish is crazy or if he's evaluating his Tinder clone app using Rubber Duck Debugging.

Sasha: He's just crazy.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

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5

Passion

(1) A word that has been ceaselessly bastardized and overused by founders and investors who are too lazy to actually give well thought out advice. When someone tells you to "follow your passion" here, they are essentially copping out and giving you an answer that aims to make them look good without actually professing anything with actual substance. Using this word is only somewhat acceptable when paired with other useful advice, but never alone.

(2) An expression used to secretly talk down to someone you find meaningless.

James: You got any advice for founders who've just signed on their first hundred customers and are now trying to raise their first round of funding?

Prominent founder: Follow your passion.

Laura: How about finding technical founders to join you?

Prominent founder: If you follow your passion they will come to you.

Dan: Any advice on marketing one's product for the first time?

Prominent founder: If you show potential customers you have passion, they will buy or subscribe to your product.

Matt: Any advice on pivoting from a project you were passionate about?

Prominent founder: Yes. Find another passion.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

4

Metadata

In most instances, metadata is referred to as information that helps you identity what shit is among users exchanging data, without actually seeing it's inward contents. It's like a sealed, labeled envelope of sorts.

The NSA can see the metadata of every call and text you make, although they claim they don't actually read what it contains. They can see the fact that you sent a text to your girlfriend, but they claim they don't actually read it unless they have permission by their higher ups.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

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5

Hacker News

A forum for engineers and entrepreneurs to echo their commonly held beliefs amongst one another.

Every morning when I wake up, I spend about 2 hours a day commenting on how shitty new products are and how we're NOT in a bubble.

https://news.ycombinator.com/

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

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5

The Imitation Iteration

The part of one's product iteration where they decide to imitate aspects of an app that a wide base of users are familiar with out of fear that their innovative new product is way ahead of it's time.

Before Jean's company closed they spend a month stuck on an imitation iteration where they copied nearly every feature of Snapchat until it became a shitty clone of the product.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

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