yungsnuggie
yungsnuggie (1255)

3

Rockstar CEO

A title people give to above average CEOs to give attention to the fact that they and their company exist, usually in an attempt to increase their social value.

ex1: I just met Nancy, a rockstar CEO, whose company is building solar powered televisions priced at 10,000$ for people in developing countries.

ex2: I've never heard Mark Zuckerberg, Bill Gates, or Evan Spiegel referred to as Rockstar CEOs. You know why? Because nobody has to say something so corny to shed light on the fact that they are incredibly good at what they do.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

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5

Convertible Note

A note used for the most well-known method of raising venture capital in Silicon Valley; raising convertible debt. This is when the investor buys shares priced at a later round of a companies VC raising.

Raising capital for alot of companies is a long term process. Basically convertible debt just makes it so that a VC gets more bang for his buck because he invested earlier. Each round the shares get more expensive, but you don't know how much of a discount one will get until each subsequent round. Value is pretty relative in this way.

If this sounds like economic black magic, it's because it kind of is. There are very few industries in the world in which people raise finances this way. When one understands how convertible debt works, TechCrunch headlines also sound less impressive and one begins to wonder if values are purposely inflated or deflated to fit different situations.

NOTE: It's technically regarded as "debt," which is why many entrepreneurs are pushing for the use of essentially the same thing called a SAFE (which doesn't use the word debt in it's language).

Steven Pham raised 200k on a convertible note to pursue his idea of mass producing solar powered dildo dispensers which send live tweets on the buyers identity upon sale.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

6

Corporate Storyteller

This is an actual job title given to people in Silicon Valley whose job it is to humanize the narrative of a company. The companies that have a position like this are so soulless and out of touch with regular people that they need to keep someone on their payroll to do this for them.

Jane became a corporate storyteller at Salesforce after the company realized they were too out of touch with everyday people.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

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5

Futurist

A futurist uses their semi-egotistically driven foresight to describe what could happen in the future. Because they are exposed to very early versions of new technology and believe they hold a strong grasp on the insights of the human condition, they channel their sagely ways via often ignored online blog posts, tweets, and books that are rarely read.

Jane: VR is pretty cool isn't it?

Futurist: STAHP RIGHT THERE. HERE IS WHAT SHALL HAPPEN IN THE FUTURE. WE SHALL ALL USE VR TO COMMUNINCATE WITH PEOPLE. THERE WILL BE NO MORE NEED FOR PEOPLE TO FLY AROUND THE WORLD TO MEET EACH OTHER. THEY WILL MEET ON THE INTERNET USING BODY SCANS AND FACIAL RECOGNITION. THE POPULATION OF HUMANS WILL DECREASE BECAUSE VR WILL MAKE VIRTUAL SEX MORE ACCESSIBLE THAN REAL SEX. WE ARE ON THE CUSP OF RADICAL HUMAN CHANGE. THE WORLD AS WE KNO IT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME.

Jane: That's interesting, I always thought that augmented reality would...

Futurist: STAHP RIGHT THERE. AUGMENTED REALITY IS ONLY IN ITS INCEPTION AS WE DELIVE INTO THE OVERALL HEDGE OF WHERE THE TECHNOLOGY CAN TAKE US. WE ARE ON THE CUSP OF INCREDIBLE CHA-

Jane: Hey that's my friend Matt over there, I'm gonna go say Hi to him.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

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5

That's cool

You have your reservations that the business is gonna actually work or even makes sense, but you don't want to go into details.

Ryan: I'm building a SAAS operated Pet food startup.

Bree: That's cool.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

4

Jack Effect

The effect Jack Dorsey's induction as CEO of Twitter has had on founders who now operate more than one startup.

The Jack Effect has caused most entrepreneurs at Stanford to operate more than one company at once.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

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4

Thotline Bling

When a girl or guy you barely know likes your picture or sends you a message indicating they're interested in a booty call, but it'll probably never happen cuz you barely know each other and you're both too lazy to act on it.

I know when thotline bling, it could only mean nothing.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

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4

3 Comma Swagger

Handling every situation like you're worth a billion dollars.

I make fun of Mark all the time, but he doesn't get mad cuz he has that 3 comma swagger

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

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4

That's awesome

It's alright. Almost meh. But you wanna sound interested and enthusiastic.

Hayden: I just built the android version to my new Flappy bird clone!

Matt: That's awesome!

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

4

Code Ninja Turtle

Someone who is lazy as fuck, but is also brilliant jack of all trades engineer.

Ryan slept the entire week and finished his part of the project the night before it was due. Our boss thinks he's a code ninja, but he's really just a code ninja turtle.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

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4

SAAS

Software as a service. These sorts of businesses rely on a subscription model. The unsubscribe button is their biggest enemy.

Janet made a pet analytics SAAS tool that requires it's users to pay 10,000$ a month.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

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4

The Internet of Things

All of your household applications connect to the internet and have the ability to change it's behavior based on big data.

Cisco's pitch on The Internet of Things basically says that if I forget my cell phone in the bathroom, I'll be able to tweet from my toaster instead.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

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4

I Only Invest In "X"

Either it's true, the investor is not interested enough in your pitch to take a risk and go outside his or her comfort zone, or both.

Dan: I built a sick SAAS app that get's 20 users a month on subscription.

Mrs. Investor: Sorry I only invest in Social apps that are growing at a 15% rate every 17 days.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

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5

Reddit Sticker Tryhard

Putting a Reddit sticker on your Macbook to appear more likable.

Alot of people who move to cities with alot of tech companies add a reddit sticker to their laptops to make a feeble attempt to fit in.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

  • zazpowered zazpowered

    I've seen this with product hunt stickers in lyft cars and laptops

    1
    Reply
    over 1 year ago
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5

Social Proof Hacking

Making your company or website appear more popular than it is by artificially modifying website and social media statistics.

Jack was more easily able to sign a big client after the company he was signing on noticed that their website's videos had over 10,000 hits. Some say Facebook used to do that early on as well.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

4

Hollywood Techie

Someone, usually from LA, who joins a tech company with the sole purpose of trying to get details right in a movie idea meant to pander to a techie audience. They have no real interest in tech otherwise.

That new intern Robert just spends all day at his desk writing his screenplay. I wonder what that Hollywood techie is writing about us.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

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4

Investor Netflix and Chill

When an investor says he wants to go out for coffee and discuss ideas.

Ever since our site hit 200,000 users we've been getting nothing but emails asking to investor netflix and chill.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

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4

Boardroom Wingmaning

When someone loosely affiliated with a company joins a meeting to make the person pitching seem more likable.

Ping and Satish took a day off to boardroom wingman for Jason's pitch to Accel partners.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

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4

The Multi-CEO Club

A club belonging to individuals who are the CEO of more than a single company.

Now that Jack Dorsey is about become the CEO of Twitter, he is about to join the Multi-CEO Club along with Steve Jobs and Elon Musk.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

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4

Premium Price

When searching for domains this is the biggest "fuck you" you can encounter. It translates to costs more than 25,000 dollars.

"This is a .CO Premium Domain Name that is available for registration at a premium price."

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

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