employeeNumbaOne (140)
Fuck you money
When you make enough money from a startup or job that you can basically do whatever you want. Usually from equity after a liquidity event.
Engineering manager: Congrats on the IPO everybody. See you guys on Monday.
Engineer: I'm not sure about that
Manager: You think you can do whatever you want now you have that fuck you money?
Engineer: Sorry sir. I just got a little excited
zazpowered over 9 years ago
Awesome Journey
Used when a startup has failed. Intend to give a positive spin on what is a gut wrenching moment.
While our startup has failed, it has been an awesome journey.
beenpoor over 9 years agoAka a Medium post.
Also known as an "Incredible Journey", as in http://ourincrediblejourney.tumblr.com/
Non-technical Cofounder
A Wharton MBA who will overestimate the value of his idea and underestimate the value of the person who will implement it. Often wonders why his technical cofounders leave him and the apps they build look like shit and get hacked all the time.
Non-technical Cofounder: Why do all these technical cofounders leave me? Did they not see the MBA from Wharton in my email? I'm telling you right now, I know how to write a business plan. I even offered the last guy 10% of my company.
zazpowered over 9 years agoWorked with a guy just like this before. We had tons of competition doing the exact same thing but dude refused to change his ideas or strategy at all. Happy it was contract work.
Also known as "Ideas Guy"
As opposed to a technical cofounder that shaves yaks because they have no clue about business?
Popular phrase: "Looking for a technical co-founder"
Tech Stars
An incubator people apply to when getting rejected from YC. They aren't definitively worst it just always happens to be your second choice every time.
I gotta move to Boston now that we got into Tech Stars and need a semi reputable incubator.
yungsnuggie over 9 years agoCareer Fair
A time when recruiters try to get commission and college students desperately try to get their first taste of the real world. B.S is at a maximum.
David: Hey did you go to that career fair last week? Kara: Yeah, gotta look for those jobs David: Mo money, less problems
willgr81 over 8 years agoWork From Home
A synonym of "Sit at home eating chips while watching TV"
Chris: Hey boss. Can I work from home on Tuesday?
Boss: Let me know if last weeks episode is worth watching
zazpowered over 9 years agoCloud
A descriptive word given to something that is running on someone else's computer.
We will run our product in the cloud, so it is accessible to users on the internet.
slushieman over 9 years agoDeliverables
A startup uses this word when it's no longer a startup
"Hey congrats on the series B!"
"Thanks! Are your deliverables in yet?"
orien over 9 years agofirst
@orien you would comment on your own definition
Resting and vesting
When you have equity in a company that hasn't fully vested yet and stay at the company even though you have no real role there.
Matthew: Why are you on the roof park all the time, aren't you the VP of marketing?
Hemant: Yes but that's just a title. I'm really resting and vesting
zazpowered over 9 years agoSolving Own Problem
A bullshit story founders present to lie on how they arrived at their product.
We built datemycate app because we wanted to solve our own problem to help our cat find a date. He was very horny all the time and was always flirty with my girlfriend.
beenpoor over 9 years ago
This is Uber
What a passenger will say to turn down their Uber driver when he attempts to start a conversion or expects a fist bump. This happens because of the high percentage of Uber drivers that also drive for Lyft.
Driver: Man the weather is really nice today. Where are you headed?
Chris: This is Uber.
zazpowered over 9 years agoZen
A common company name prefix and word bastardized by Silicon Valley startups, usually chosen to give new users a false sense of comfort for their soulless product.
I love using ZenPayRoll And ZenBox. I just feel so at peace when using their product.
GoogleEngineer over 9 years agoThis changes everything
Nothing has changed. Pure marketing
See http://svdictionary.com/words/changing-the-world
Introducing the iPhone 4. This changes everything.
zazpowered over 9 years agoLove it. Although, I did love my iPhone 4S. And it still runs like ALL Apple products I have ever owned!
Doesn't change much to be honest, 99% marketing 1% decent phone
Buzzfeed Writer
A mediocre writer, but decent list builder. Their article titles usually follow the model: [Number] [Subject] So [Hyperbole] You [Claim]
10 Clickbaity Titles So Enticing You Have To Click
svpro over 9 years agoLOL
WOW
#7 will blow your mind.
Making the world a better place
Solving a very specific problem that loosely translates into a social benefit.
We are making the world a better place through P2P iBeacon messaging platforms.
dennis over 9 years agoLook at how much time sink we've created for evil people... with Reddit.
Convertible Debt
An investment instrument which allows both founders and investors to procrastinate on the most important aspect of a business. Essentially an investment in a flamewar. Both entrepreneur and investor can share the delusion of cutting legal costs by skimping necessary discussions which usually backfire and lead to unfair dilution if the company succeeds or ruined professional and personal relationships when the company fails.
Sam: I just raised a million dollars for my startup, GooberData! Kayla: Cool, how? Sam: A convertible note! Hey, where are you going?
willgr81 over 8 years agoI like your style.
Pre-Revenue
The bullshit an entrepreneur spews to investors to convince them of a high valuation since the seed money will allow the startup to grow immeasurably. Usually followed by more bullshit, greater valuations and eventually and a low revenue to evaluation ratio and companies which never attain revenues to justify their evaluation.
Currently the greatest contribution to the startup bubble.
Person A: How can that startup afford golden toilets and helicopter rides to work? Person B: Of course they can, they are pre-revenue and focusing on growth!
JonWilkins over 9 years agoThis is immediately followed by the http://svdictionary.com/words/down-round, and then the http://svdictionary.com/words/incredible-journey.
Brogrammer
When you mix your typical engineer with your typical frat boy. The official heuristic to identify a brogrammer in your organization is when you can't tell whether the suspect is part of your engineering team or your sales team.
David: I originally thought Kilim was a programmer but he's been popping his collar and talking a lot. Is he a brogrammer?
zazpowered over 9 years ago
In the single comma club now... :/
@SingleCommaClub that's not bad. you will get to two commas soon