HalfLife3
HalfLife3 (123)

6

Uber Funded

When your startup is funded from the side cash made off of Uber driving.

Zayne: Have you guys raised a round of funding?

Pan: We are in fact, Uber funded.

Zayne: Right...congrats?

Added by HalfLife3 HalfLife3 over 2 years ago

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5

Lava Pressure

Intentionally making your life worse every time your startup doesn't pass a milestone.

Reynolds keeps putting lava pressure on his team by smashing a monitor everytime their company doesn't gain 10% more users in a given month.

Added by HalfLife3 HalfLife3 over 2 years ago

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5

Startup Lifestylers

People who get into the startup scene just for the "rock star" lifestyle.

Jaime spends all his funding throwing parities and buying company swag. He's just a startup lifestyler.

Added by HalfLife3 HalfLife3 over 2 years ago

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4

Milestone

Common term used to communicate between founders and investors the goals they intend on passing. Milestones are sometimes used in determination for future funding worth.

Draymond's company passed all it's milestones so the investors were happy to write him a check for the next round.

Added by HalfLife3 HalfLife3 over 2 years ago

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4

Cat Person Stereotype

The stereotype that engineers in Silicon Valley when given a choice would prefer ownership of a cat rather than a dog.

Ryan: I got you a cat for your birthday.

Bob: Fuck you I like Corgis.

Added by HalfLife3 HalfLife3 over 2 years ago

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3

Media Headliners

Products big companies keep in the Research and Development area of their company and display at an event for the pure purpose of garnering media attention. The products themselves are either set for release on a date far in the future or never at all.

Tai: Did you see the Google contact lens in the news?

Kyrie: Meh, just a media headliner not set to come out for awhile.

Added by HalfLife3 HalfLife3 over 2 years ago

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3

Getting Swallowed By A Whale

When a bigger company builds what a startup was trying to release. The startup is normally in over it's ahead if the feature is very similar due to the companies resources, money, and development team advantage.

Ron: I heard Jack's startup was trying to annotate the internet.

Julia: They got swallowed by a whale. Genius.com got funded and did it before they could.

Added by HalfLife3 HalfLife3 over 2 years ago

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4

The Incompetence Interview

Pretending to be someone who doesn't know shit, in an attempt to see how well someone is at explaining things.

Jessica did an incompetence interview on Lando asking her to teach him some basic Ruby on Rails concepts. He didn't know how to even open his terminal.

Added by HalfLife3 HalfLife3 over 2 years ago

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3

Low Fidelity Prototype

Drawing what your app would look like on a bunch of paper and asking people to pretend it's a real app. This saves you the time of making something on your computer...(which ironically would actually take less time for alot of people).

My low fidelity prototype flew away when the wind got really strong when I was testing my app for hobos at Golden Gate Park.

Added by HalfLife3 HalfLife3 over 2 years ago

  • RobotCowboy RobotCowboy

    I would actually call this "Paper Prototype". Low-Fidelity can be digital.

    1
    Reply
    over 2 years ago
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3

Elevator Pitch

An investor pitch that literally spans the time of a single elevator ride. People use this expression as a systematic way of telling founders to shut the fuck up and get to the point.

Ron spent 10 months preparing his 10 second elevator pitch. He did everything he could to get it right.

Added by HalfLife3 HalfLife3 over 2 years ago

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3

Pitch Climaxing

The orgasmic feeling one gets when completing one's pitch.

After pitching to YC and getting in I pitch climaxed so hard.

Added by HalfLife3 HalfLife3 over 2 years ago

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3

Investor Ambushing

Camping out in front of the exit of a speaking event or the office of an investment firm to get minimal face time with them to either pitch or set up a meeting.

Leo is shameless. He investor ambushes in Palo Alto on Tuesdays and Thursdays trying to pitch his women only dating app.

Added by HalfLife3 HalfLife3 over 2 years ago

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3

Twitter Ghosting

Taking the identity of a friend or somewhat famous person and creating a fan Twitter account of them.

I twitter ghosted as my friend Lewis for years just writing things he'd say to me during class. My troll account of him has more follows than my own.

Added by HalfLife3 HalfLife3 over 2 years ago

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3

LinkedIn Endorsement Flirting

Endorsing someone your attracted to for skills they may or not have to start a form of communication between the two of you.

Sabrina: Why did you endorse Zayn for Python. You're a lawyer, you don't even code.

Jess: I was endorsement flirting with him. Even though I hate coding, dudes love it when you notice their code.

Added by HalfLife3 HalfLife3 over 2 years ago

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5

To Get Eduardofucked

Getting your equity diluted, while thinking that no one in the company hates you enough to fuck you over. This happened to a Facebook founder, Eduordo Saverin, by Mark Zuckerberg and Sean Parker. Goes under Zuckerberging and pretty much why he sued the fuck out of Facebook and Mark later on.

Let's Eduardofuck a bunch of Stanford MBAs who can do marketing and who don't know how cap tables work. We can promise them dilutable common stock and save a ton of money.

Added by HalfLife3 HalfLife3 over 2 years ago

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4

Equity Dilution

Think of a share as a small unit of ownership in a company. When your shares are unprotected their value is dependent on factors outside your control, such as how many other shares are being distributed to other people. Equity dilution is when these factors decimate the value of your ownership.

Even though Ron was a graduate of the Haas School of Business, he did not know what equity dilution was, so after a year of working at a Stanford student's startup, he lost all the control that he thought he would have.

Added by HalfLife3 HalfLife3 over 2 years ago

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4

Investor Crushing

Learning everything possible about your ideal investors fantasizing about the scenario in which the both of you talk about things you just happen to be interested in.

I've been investor crushing on Marc Andreessen for months now. Whenever I see an egg I get so wet.

Added by HalfLife3 HalfLife3 over 2 years ago

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3

Free Pizza Lure

Luring college engineer and business dev candidates to one's job info session with free food, most commonly pizza.

Chad: Did you go to the Twitter Info Session.

Laura: Yeah, I just went for the pizza though. I don't know why everyone here wants to work so badly at Twitter and Google.

Added by HalfLife3 HalfLife3 over 2 years ago

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3

Weiner Tweeting

Tweeting pictures of one's genetillia and messaging it to someone over Twitter. Coined after former U.S. House Representative Anthony Weiner, who famously tweeted a picture of his privates to a woman he was trying to impress.

Brad: I've been getting so many follows on my twitter account ever since I wrote that Medium article on quitting my job, that I now want to start Weiner Tweeting some of the hot new ladies I've inspired.

Charlie: I don't know how you could be capable of writing something so popular but also think something like that would work.

Added by HalfLife3 HalfLife3 over 2 years ago

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3

Windows 10 Years Too Late

The latest operating system released by Microsoft, often joked about how late they were in getting it right.

Ricky: You buying Windows 10 Years Too Late?

Sameer: Nah, I'm getting a Macbook Retina Air with whatever the hell it comes with.

Added by HalfLife3 HalfLife3 over 2 years ago

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