SingleCommaClub
SingleCommaClub (8)

46

This changes everything

Nothing has changed. Pure marketing

See http://svdictionary.com/words/changing-the-world

Introducing the iPhone 4. This changes everything.

Added by zazpowered zazpowered about 5 years ago

  • charlesjo charlesjo

    Love it. Although, I did love my iPhone 4S. And it still runs like ALL Apple products I have ever owned!

    2
    Reply
    about 5 years ago
  • thepaleking thepaleking

    Doesn't change much to be honest, 99% marketing 1% decent phone

    2
    Reply
    almost 5 years ago
54

Fuck you money

When you make enough money from a startup or job that you can basically do whatever you want. Usually from equity after a liquidity event.

Engineering manager: Congrats on the IPO everybody. See you guys on Monday.
Engineer: I'm not sure about that
Manager: You think you can do whatever you want now you have that fuck you money?
Engineer: Sorry sir. I just got a little excited

Added by zazpowered zazpowered about 5 years ago

52

Early Employee

A founder who will take 1% of the company instead of 25%. This is a polite way of saying "sucker."

CEO: "We couldn't have done it without a few great early employees."

Added by employeeNumbaOne employeeNumbaOne about 5 years ago

  • SingleCommaClub SingleCommaClub

    I still wouldn't minded having been an early employee at Facebook or Uber.

    4
    Reply
    about 5 years ago
  • employeeNumbaOne employeeNumbaOne

    @silconobserver Zach Holman.

    1
    Reply
    over 4 years ago
  • silconobserver silconobserver

    This is total and utter bullshit. The founder risks his entire savings, family/friend relationships and pours his life into his startup. When things finally begin to work he goes out and hires the first few employees. In return the "early employees" get paid market rate or slightly below market rate and get equity and the founder gets painted as a greedy bastard? Who is the real sucker here

    3
    Reply
    over 4 years ago
59

Non-technical Cofounder

A Wharton MBA who will overestimate the value of his idea and underestimate the value of the person who will implement it. Often wonders why his technical cofounders leave him and the apps they build look like shit and get hacked all the time.

Non-technical Cofounder: Why do all these technical cofounders leave me? Did they not see the MBA from Wharton in my email? I'm telling you right now, I know how to write a business plan. I even offered the last guy 10% of my company.

Added by zazpowered zazpowered about 5 years ago

3

B.S. Computer Science, Freeloading Minor

The distinction a CS student receives upon graduating college having written minimal code. This is done by free loading off of team members during group projects and copying code from peers during individual assignments. If they graduate having written no code, they get a double major.

Brad: Did John write any code in his 4 years here? I just want to see if he got B.S. CS, Freloading Minor or B.S. CS, B.A. Freeloading

Added by zazpowered zazpowered about 5 years ago

    36

    MBA

    Certification that you've read case studies on how others have succeeded.

    Steve: Have you started your business yet?
    Jeremey: No I'm getting my MBA. I'll start my first business when I'm 30 and have a wife and kids.

    Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie about 5 years ago

    15

    Facebook Friend

    Somebody you met in real life once who is useful for increasing your friend count and possibly the like counts of your latest selfies but likely someone you will never talk to again.

    "I don't know who Jane is but she's liking my photos so she stays."

    Added by zazpowered zazpowered about 5 years ago

      8

      150ft Rule

      A company wide standard at Google that says that not even a single area of the office can be situated at a distance exceeding 150 feet, from sources of food.

      When I work I constantly have food at my desk. It's a delicious life. The main reason I never want to leave Google is the 150ft rule.

      Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie about 5 years ago

        8

        Pistol Ship

        To ship one's code without checking it. This is normally done out of a combination of hubris and laziness.

        Jack: I feel like Clint Eastwood, I've been pistol shipping compiled code all day. I love working at Facebook.

        Lewis: Facebook is down.

        Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie about 5 years ago

          6

          Startup Wet Dreaming

          A nocturnal emission that occurs at the thought of one's startup being acquired or achieving vast success.

          Julie: These sheets....what the hell. Are you cheating on me?

          Ryan: Sorry babe, I've been startup wet dreaming ever since Tech Stars accepted our team. Love ya.

          Added by HalfLife3 HalfLife3 about 5 years ago

          • chipchop chipchop

            This may have happened to me before

            1
            Reply
            about 5 years ago