SingleCommaClub
SingleCommaClub (8)

46

This changes everything

Nothing has changed. Pure marketing

See http://svdictionary.com/words/changing-the-world

Introducing the iPhone 4. This changes everything.

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 3 years ago

53

Fuck you money

When you make enough money from a startup or job that you can basically do whatever you want. Usually from equity after a liquidity event.

Engineering manager: Congrats on the IPO everybody. See you guys on Monday.
Engineer: I'm not sure about that
Manager: You think you can do whatever you want now you have that fuck you money?
Engineer: Sorry sir. I just got a little excited

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 3 years ago

52

Early Employee

A founder who will take 1% of the company instead of 25%. This is a polite way of saying "sucker."

CEO: "We couldn't have done it without a few great early employees."

Added by employeeNumbaOne employeeNumbaOne over 3 years ago

57

Non-technical Cofounder

A Wharton MBA who will overestimate the value of his idea and underestimate the value of the person who will implement it. Often wonders why his technical cofounders leave him and the apps they build look like shit and get hacked all the time.

Non-technical Cofounder: Why do all these technical cofounders leave me? Did they not see the MBA from Wharton in my email? I'm telling you right now, I know how to write a business plan. I even offered the last guy 10% of my company.

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 3 years ago

3

B.S. Computer Science, Freeloading Minor

The distinction a CS student receives upon graduating college having written minimal code. This is done by free loading off of team members during group projects and copying code from peers during individual assignments. If they graduate having written no code, they get a double major.

Brad: Did John write any code in his 4 years here? I just want to see if he got B.S. CS, Freloading Minor or B.S. CS, B.A. Freeloading

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 3 years ago

35

MBA

Certification that you've read case studies on how others have succeeded.

Steve: Have you started your business yet?
Jeremey: No I'm getting my MBA. I'll start my first business when I'm 30 and have a wife and kids.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 3 years ago

15

Facebook Friend

Somebody you met in real life once who is useful for increasing your friend count and possibly the like counts of your latest selfies but likely someone you will never talk to again.

"I don't know who Jane is but she's liking my photos so she stays."

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 3 years ago

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8

150ft Rule

A company wide standard at Google that says that not even a single area of the office can be situated at a distance exceeding 150 feet, from sources of food.

When I work I constantly have food at my desk. It's a delicious life. The main reason I never want to leave Google is the 150ft rule.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 3 years ago

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8

Pistol Ship

To ship one's code without checking it. This is normally done out of a combination of hubris and laziness.

Jack: I feel like Clint Eastwood, I've been pistol shipping compiled code all day. I love working at Facebook.

Lewis: Facebook is down.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 3 years ago

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6

Startup Wet Dreaming

A nocturnal emission that occurs at the thought of one's startup being acquired or achieving vast success.

Julie: These sheets....what the hell. Are you cheating on me?

Ryan: Sorry babe, I've been startup wet dreaming ever since Tech Stars accepted our team. Love ya.

Added by HalfLife3 HalfLife3 over 3 years ago

  • chipchop chipchop

    This may have happened to me before

    1
    Reply
    over 3 years ago
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