iamDeveloper
iamDeveloper (58)

52

Early Employee

A founder who will take 1% of the company instead of 25%. This is a polite way of saying "sucker."

CEO: "We couldn't have done it without a few great early employees."

Added by employeeNumbaOne employeeNumbaOne about 9 years ago

  • SingleCommaClub SingleCommaClub

    I still wouldn't minded having been an early employee at Facebook or Uber.

    4
    Reply
    about 9 years ago
  • employeeNumbaOne employeeNumbaOne

    @silconobserver Zach Holman.

    1
    Reply
    about 8 years ago
  • silconobserver silconobserver

    This is total and utter bullshit. The founder risks his entire savings, family/friend relationships and pours his life into his startup. When things finally begin to work he goes out and hires the first few employees. In return the "early employees" get paid market rate or slightly below market rate and get equity and the founder gets painted as a greedy bastard? Who is the real sucker here

    3
    Reply
    over 8 years ago
54

Fuck you money

When you make enough money from a startup or job that you can basically do whatever you want. Usually from equity after a liquidity event.

Engineering manager: Congrats on the IPO everybody. See you guys on Monday.
Engineer: I'm not sure about that
Manager: You think you can do whatever you want now you have that fuck you money?
Engineer: Sorry sir. I just got a little excited

Added by zazpowered zazpowered about 9 years ago

33

Awesome Journey

Used when a startup has failed. Intend to give a positive spin on what is a gut wrenching moment.

While our startup has failed, it has been an awesome journey.

Added by beenpoor beenpoor about 9 years ago

59

Non-technical Cofounder

A Wharton MBA who will overestimate the value of his idea and underestimate the value of the person who will implement it. Often wonders why his technical cofounders leave him and the apps they build look like shit and get hacked all the time.

Non-technical Cofounder: Why do all these technical cofounders leave me? Did they not see the MBA from Wharton in my email? I'm telling you right now, I know how to write a business plan. I even offered the last guy 10% of my company.

Added by zazpowered zazpowered about 9 years ago

14

Thiel Fellow

A student under the age of 20 handpicked by Peter Thiel to drop out of college and start a company.

I dropped out of MIT because Peter Thiel just gave me a $100,000 to realize my dream of creating a social network for dogs.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie about 9 years ago

    9

    San Francisco

    The city of San Francisco is one the most famous cities in the Bay Area, home to the SF Giants, hipsters, a thriving LGBT community, and enough fog to make you consider suicide, commonly referred to as "The City". When non Bay Area natives talk about the Bay Area, they're either talking about SF or Silicon Valley.

    Alex: Yo man, you doing something later? It's Friday.
    Kim: Yea I'm thinking about heading to The City later for some drinks, probably near Nob Hill or something.
    Alex: Sounds chill. Can I come?
    Kim: I don't know if it's your scene. The place has pretty hipster bars. They all have PBR on tap for $5 a pint.

    Added by xmangoslushie xmangoslushie about 9 years ago

      46

      This changes everything

      Nothing has changed. Pure marketing

      See http://svdictionary.com/words/changing-the-world

      Introducing the iPhone 4. This changes everything.

      Added by zazpowered zazpowered about 9 years ago

      • charlesjo charlesjo

        Love it. Although, I did love my iPhone 4S. And it still runs like ALL Apple products I have ever owned!

        2
        Reply
        almost 9 years ago
      • thepaleking thepaleking

        Doesn't change much to be honest, 99% marketing 1% decent phone

        2
        Reply
        over 8 years ago
      5

      College Dropout

      A complete wildcard. They are either genius level smart or are biting off more they can chew. In the case of the latter, they have either watched too many Peter Thiel talks that didn't apply to them, watched The Social Network more than 2 times, or are not familiar with the terms on this website.

      Like I used to go to Davis, but now I'm a college dropout. It's just that school was holding me back you know? Like Zuck in the Social Network, I'm just way smarter than everyone and girls don't get me. I got my iPod on Kanye West's College Dropout album too cuz that's what I relate too and he's pretty much singing about me.

      Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 9 years ago

        30

        Buzzfeed Writer

        A mediocre writer, but decent list builder. Their article titles usually follow the model: [Number] [Subject] So [Hyperbole] You [Claim]

        10 Clickbaity Titles So Enticing You Have To Click

        Added by svpro svpro about 9 years ago

        35

        Brogrammer

        When you mix your typical engineer with your typical frat boy. The official heuristic to identify a brogrammer in your organization is when you can't tell whether the suspect is part of your engineering team or your sales team.

        David: I originally thought Kilim was a programmer but he's been popping his collar and talking a lot. Is he a brogrammer?

        Added by zazpowered zazpowered about 9 years ago

        • bkelly bkelly

          More useful information for problogrammer here IBM

          1
          Reply
          about 8 years ago
        33

        Code Ninja

        A euphemism that is used by Bay Area recruiters who don't actually know what in specific they want in a Software Engineer, just someone who can pretty much do everything and anything that's handed to them.

        We're looking to recruit the best Code Ninjas possible for our startup of 4 currently employed non-technical founders. Free pizza will be provided on Wednesdays.

        Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie about 9 years ago

        • charlesjo charlesjo

          Also used oddly and inappropriately by non-Asians as term of endearment to their Asian-American friends.

          1
          Reply
          almost 9 years ago
        40

        Bus Factor

        The number of people that need to be hit by a bus before their project is dead.

        "Our engineers work in teams of 10 for the higher bus factor"

        Added by asdf asdf about 9 years ago

        • employeeNumbaOne employeeNumbaOne

          It is well known that engineers make a "SPOF" sound when hit by a bus.

          2
          Reply
          about 8 years ago
        29

        Silicon Valley Billionaire

        Silicon Valley Billionaires tend to be younger, poorer dressed and generally less douchey than billionaires from other areas. Some are so poorly dressed that it is often hard to distinguish one from a hobo. In New York, a 23 year old scrawny male with t-shirt and jeans might be told to fuck off at a Lambourhini dealership but the same thing would never happen in Silicon Valley.

        Sales person: Do you think I should even talk to that guy over there. It doesn't look like he can afford a car.
        2nd sales person: That's Mark Zuckerberg

        Added by zazpowered zazpowered about 9 years ago

          37

          Uber of...

          Commonly used by startup founders to compare their mediocre startup or idea to the startup unicorn Uber.

          Startup Founder: We're the Uber of food delivery.
          VC: Uhhh... so is everyone else.

          Added by ssc242 ssc242 about 9 years ago

          • iceariel13 iceariel13

            Yep, seamless, delivery,com, munchery, caviar...the list never ends

            1
            Reply
            almost 9 years ago
          • N.Hemingway N.Hemingway

            You should additionally add "Facebook of..." probably the most heard phrase since 2010 ;D

            1
            Reply
            almost 9 years ago
          58

          Engineer Unicorn

          An engineer that is competent, good looking, dresses well and is not socially awkward.

          John: How come no other engineers are like David?
          Mary: He's an engineer unicorn. They are rare.

          Added by pygmyknight pygmyknight about 9 years ago

          • torbenberger torbenberger

            The legend says some of them can be found here http://www.engineerunicorns.com

            2
            Reply
            almost 9 years ago
          • employeeNumbaOne employeeNumbaOne

            "Unicorn" is a common term for an engineer (usually front-end) who also has good taste in design and is able to contribute to UX early on. But "unicorn" is also used for startups that turn out to be breakout successes, like Uber and Airbnb. Silicon Valley really likes unicorns.

            3
            Reply
            almost 9 years ago