svhunt
svhunt (108)

7

Tres Commas

Spanish for three commas as in 1 billion dollars or $1,000,000,000

After the IPO of his company Matthew is now part of the tres commas club

Added by zazpowered zazpowered almost 9 years ago

    7

    This Guy Fucks

    Made popular by Russ Hanneman on the Silicon Valley show. It is just something to say when you want to mess with somebody. Meaningless. Could also mean this guy has a lot of sex but its impossible to tell.

    http://peal.io/p/this-guy-fucks-am-i-right

    Added by zazpowered zazpowered almost 9 years ago

      3

      Janitor at startup

      Sometimes startup founders or executives will use this as their title to appear humble but it ends up being super obnoxious.

      Matthew: why are you listed as janitor on LinkedIn aren't you the CEO?
      Kilim: Oh I just wanted people to ask me about it so I can tell them my real position.

      Added by zazpowered zazpowered almost 9 years ago

        4

        Silly Web App

        How people like to describe what a lot of what engineers in silicon valley build. They are sometimes right and sometimes wrong but in either case they are sitting on their asses doing nothing themselves.

        Kilim: What the hell is Silicon Valley dictionary. Stop making silly web apps
        Matthew: Stop watching tv

        Added by zazpowered zazpowered almost 9 years ago

          9

          Work From Home

          A synonym of "Sit at home eating chips while watching TV"

          Chris: Hey boss. Can I work from home on Tuesday?
          Boss: Let me know if last weeks episode is worth watching

          Added by zazpowered zazpowered almost 9 years ago

            4

            Acquihire

            When a startup is bought with the sole purpose of hiring the startup's employees versus obtaining the product/users. Generally, startups that get acquhired are struggling and the move is done as a last resort.

            Alex: I heard your startup got acquired by Facebook. Give me some of that startup money.
            John: It was an acquihire. I don't want to talk about it.

            Added by zazpowered zazpowered almost 9 years ago

              13

              Changing the world

              Outside of Silicon Valley this can mean curing cancer, eliminating Malaria and solving world hunger but within SV it means a bigger iPhone, an iPhone the size of a tablet, an iPhone strapped to your wrist or Yo (http://techcrunch.com/2014/06/18/yo-yo/)

              A synonym of "This changes everything" and "This changes everything. Again"

              Founder of Silicon Valley Dictionary: I am so glad to be working on products that are changing the world everyday

              Added by zazpowered zazpowered almost 9 years ago

                46

                This changes everything

                Nothing has changed. Pure marketing

                See http://svdictionary.com/words/changing-the-world

                Introducing the iPhone 4. This changes everything.

                Added by zazpowered zazpowered almost 9 years ago

                • charlesjo charlesjo

                  Love it. Although, I did love my iPhone 4S. And it still runs like ALL Apple products I have ever owned!

                  2
                  Reply
                  almost 9 years ago
                • thepaleking thepaleking

                  Doesn't change much to be honest, 99% marketing 1% decent phone

                  2
                  Reply
                  over 8 years ago
                54

                Fuck you money

                When you make enough money from a startup or job that you can basically do whatever you want. Usually from equity after a liquidity event.

                Engineering manager: Congrats on the IPO everybody. See you guys on Monday.
                Engineer: I'm not sure about that
                Manager: You think you can do whatever you want now you have that fuck you money?
                Engineer: Sorry sir. I just got a little excited

                Added by zazpowered zazpowered almost 9 years ago

                5

                Decacorn

                A startup valued at $10 billion or more

                Kilim: It sucks that my startup is only a unicorn. Look at Snapchat. They are a decacorn

                Added by zazpowered zazpowered almost 9 years ago

                  5

                  Ping Pong Table

                  A common piece of furniture at a lot of startups. Some think it is there to promote a fun work environment which is true but it's mostly there because it appeals the predominantly asian and indian engineers

                  Hemant: If this startup doesn't have a ping pong table I don't want to work there

                  Added by pygmyknight pygmyknight almost 9 years ago

                    35

                    Brogrammer

                    When you mix your typical engineer with your typical frat boy. The official heuristic to identify a brogrammer in your organization is when you can't tell whether the suspect is part of your engineering team or your sales team.

                    David: I originally thought Kilim was a programmer but he's been popping his collar and talking a lot. Is he a brogrammer?

                    Added by zazpowered zazpowered almost 9 years ago

                    • bkelly bkelly

                      More useful information for problogrammer here IBM

                      1
                      Reply
                      about 8 years ago
                    10

                    The Woz

                    Legendary Apple Co-Founder and alumni of UC Berkeley rumored to have mystical power beyond human understanding. A lounge in UC Berkeley's Soda Hall is named after him in his honor.

                    The Woz has somehow managed to outlive his co-founder Steve Jobs, who ironically cared alot more about his diet and health than he did. I wonder what he knows that the world doesn't.

                    Added by covfefelord covfefelord almost 9 years ago

                      5

                      Software Engineer Uniform

                      What software engineers tend to wear. Consists of a badly fitting plain or graphic t-shirt or polo and a badly fitting light blue pair of jeans. The best engineers also wear sandals with socks

                      Rachel: Jesus christ what is John wearing?
                      David: Are you new to Silicon Valley? That's the software engineer uniform.

                      Added by zazpowered zazpowered almost 9 years ago

                        12

                        Which Steve?

                        A question often posed my computer programmers who seek to make a point that Steve Wozniak could write code and Steve Jobs couldn't (making him the superior founder in their minds). It's often used to indirectly defend their own insecurities in their lack in ability to communicate with other human beings or make things that people actually want.

                        Erlich: When I sold my company, Aviato, I wanted to give back. That's why I started this place, to do something big. To make a difference. You know, like Steve.
                        Richard: Uh, Jobs or Wozniak?
                        Richard: Steve Jobs or Steve...
                        Erlich: Oh, I heard you.
                        Richard: Which one?
                        Erlich: Jobs.
                        Richard: I mean, Jobs was a poser. He didn't even write code.

                        Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 9 years ago

                          3

                          Apple Newton

                          A discontinued personal digital assistant that Apple Inc. created in 1987 that is often used as a cliche to justify how companies fail before they are successful or are sometimes ahead of their time.

                          I created Grindr back in the early 2000s. It's incrediby popular today, but back then nobody thought twice of using it. It was our companies Apple Newton.

                          Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 9 years ago

                            10

                            Growth Hacking

                            Growth hacking is a buzzword journalists and marketers shamelessly use to describe marketing techniques that uses internet applications in non-traditional ways. It makes the person saying it seem as if they've mastered a skill traditional marketers haven't caught on to. Although this is incredibly important aspect for startups it is pretty much a douchier way of saying marketing.

                            Studying various growth hacking techniques, Jimmy decided to email a million people Dogecoins with his companies name at the bottom of the email to increase exposure.

                            Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 9 years ago

                              6

                              Codecademy

                              The default answer lazy software engineers give to their non-techinical friends, when asked what the best way to learn how to code is.

                              Jimmy: You're such a good programmer. I want to learn how to code, but already have this Haas degree and can't go back to college. What can I do to learn today?

                              Bobby: I don't know man, google it. I hear Codecademy is a thing. I just want to go back to playing DOTA.

                              Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 9 years ago

                                7

                                Jack Dorsey

                                Founder of Square and Twitter. He reads alot of books on self-improvement and tries to build a zen-like culture within the work place like a poor man's Phil Jackson.

                                Jack Dorsey made us hold hands after the meeting today in a circle. It was awkward because I hear Stacy doesn't wash her hands after going to the bathroom.

                                Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 9 years ago

                                  9

                                  Y Combinator

                                  A label you add to your startup's intro (if chosen) that your company exchanges 7% of protected equity to arbitrary increase your valuation with.

                                  After getting accepted from Y Combinator, my 3 man team from [insert top 5 engineering school here], we launched our [insert undeveloped idea that sounds good on paper here], and raised 1.5 million dollars from Demo Day because we're changing the world.

                                  Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 9 years ago

                                  • charlesjo charlesjo

                                    Possibly more valuable label than Stanford in the startup world.

                                    2
                                    Reply
                                    over 8 years ago