svhunt (108)
Tres Commas
Spanish for three commas as in 1 billion dollars or $1,000,000,000
After the IPO of his company Matthew is now part of the tres commas club
zazpowered over 9 years agoThis Guy Fucks
Made popular by Russ Hanneman on the Silicon Valley show. It is just something to say when you want to mess with somebody. Meaningless. Could also mean this guy has a lot of sex but its impossible to tell.
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zazpowered over 9 years agoJanitor at startup
Sometimes startup founders or executives will use this as their title to appear humble but it ends up being super obnoxious.
Matthew: why are you listed as janitor on LinkedIn aren't you the CEO?
Kilim: Oh I just wanted people to ask me about it so I can tell them my real position.
zazpowered over 9 years agoSilly Web App
How people like to describe what a lot of what engineers in silicon valley build. They are sometimes right and sometimes wrong but in either case they are sitting on their asses doing nothing themselves.
Kilim: What the hell is Silicon Valley dictionary. Stop making silly web apps
Matthew: Stop watching tv
zazpowered over 9 years agoWork From Home
A synonym of "Sit at home eating chips while watching TV"
Chris: Hey boss. Can I work from home on Tuesday?
Boss: Let me know if last weeks episode is worth watching
zazpowered over 9 years agoAcquihire
When a startup is bought with the sole purpose of hiring the startup's employees versus obtaining the product/users. Generally, startups that get acquhired are struggling and the move is done as a last resort.
Alex: I heard your startup got acquired by Facebook. Give me some of that startup money.
John: It was an acquihire. I don't want to talk about it.
zazpowered over 9 years agoChanging the world
Outside of Silicon Valley this can mean curing cancer, eliminating Malaria and solving world hunger but within SV it means a bigger iPhone, an iPhone the size of a tablet, an iPhone strapped to your wrist or Yo (http://techcrunch.com/2014/06/18/yo-yo/)
A synonym of "This changes everything" and "This changes everything. Again"
Founder of Silicon Valley Dictionary: I am so glad to be working on products that are changing the world everyday
zazpowered over 9 years agoThis changes everything
Nothing has changed. Pure marketing
See http://svdictionary.com/words/changing-the-world
Introducing the iPhone 4. This changes everything.
zazpowered over 9 years agoDoesn't change much to be honest, 99% marketing 1% decent phone
Fuck you money
When you make enough money from a startup or job that you can basically do whatever you want. Usually from equity after a liquidity event.
Engineering manager: Congrats on the IPO everybody. See you guys on Monday.
Engineer: I'm not sure about that
Manager: You think you can do whatever you want now you have that fuck you money?
Engineer: Sorry sir. I just got a little excited
zazpowered over 9 years agoIn the single comma club now... :/
@SingleCommaClub that's not bad. you will get to two commas soon
Decacorn
A startup valued at $10 billion or more
Kilim: It sucks that my startup is only a unicorn. Look at Snapchat. They are a decacorn
zazpowered over 9 years agoPing Pong Table
A common piece of furniture at a lot of startups. Some think it is there to promote a fun work environment which is true but it's mostly there because it appeals the predominantly asian and indian engineers
Hemant: If this startup doesn't have a ping pong table I don't want to work there
pygmyknight over 9 years agoBrogrammer
When you mix your typical engineer with your typical frat boy. The official heuristic to identify a brogrammer in your organization is when you can't tell whether the suspect is part of your engineering team or your sales team.
David: I originally thought Kilim was a programmer but he's been popping his collar and talking a lot. Is he a brogrammer?
zazpowered over 9 years ago
The Woz
Legendary Apple Co-Founder and alumni of UC Berkeley rumored to have mystical power beyond human understanding. A lounge in UC Berkeley's Soda Hall is named after him in his honor.
The Woz has somehow managed to outlive his co-founder Steve Jobs, who ironically cared alot more about his diet and health than he did. I wonder what he knows that the world doesn't.
covfefelord over 9 years agoSoftware Engineer Uniform
What software engineers tend to wear. Consists of a badly fitting plain or graphic t-shirt or polo and a badly fitting light blue pair of jeans. The best engineers also wear sandals with socks
Rachel: Jesus christ what is John wearing?
David: Are you new to Silicon Valley? That's the software engineer uniform.
zazpowered over 9 years agoWhich Steve?
A question often posed my computer programmers who seek to make a point that Steve Wozniak could write code and Steve Jobs couldn't (making him the superior founder in their minds). It's often used to indirectly defend their own insecurities in their lack in ability to communicate with other human beings or make things that people actually want.
Erlich: When I sold my company, Aviato, I wanted to give back. That's why I started this place, to do something big. To make a difference. You know, like Steve.
Richard: Uh, Jobs or Wozniak?
Richard: Steve Jobs or Steve...
Erlich: Oh, I heard you.
Richard: Which one?
Erlich: Jobs.
Richard: I mean, Jobs was a poser. He didn't even write code.
yungsnuggie over 9 years agoApple Newton
A discontinued personal digital assistant that Apple Inc. created in 1987 that is often used as a cliche to justify how companies fail before they are successful or are sometimes ahead of their time.
I created Grindr back in the early 2000s. It's incrediby popular today, but back then nobody thought twice of using it. It was our companies Apple Newton.
yungsnuggie over 9 years agoGrowth Hacking
Growth hacking is a buzzword journalists and marketers shamelessly use to describe marketing techniques that uses internet applications in non-traditional ways. It makes the person saying it seem as if they've mastered a skill traditional marketers haven't caught on to. Although this is incredibly important aspect for startups it is pretty much a douchier way of saying marketing.
Studying various growth hacking techniques, Jimmy decided to email a million people Dogecoins with his companies name at the bottom of the email to increase exposure.
yungsnuggie over 9 years agoCodecademy
The default answer lazy software engineers give to their non-techinical friends, when asked what the best way to learn how to code is.
Jimmy: You're such a good programmer. I want to learn how to code, but already have this Haas degree and can't go back to college. What can I do to learn today? Bobby: I don't know man, google it. I hear Codecademy is a thing. I just want to go back to playing DOTA.
yungsnuggie over 9 years agoJack Dorsey
Founder of Square and Twitter. He reads alot of books on self-improvement and tries to build a zen-like culture within the work place like a poor man's Phil Jackson.
Jack Dorsey made us hold hands after the meeting today in a circle. It was awkward because I hear Stacy doesn't wash her hands after going to the bathroom.
yungsnuggie over 9 years agoY Combinator
A label you add to your startup's intro (if chosen) that your company exchanges 7% of protected equity to arbitrary increase your valuation with.
After getting accepted from Y Combinator, my 3 man team from [insert top 5 engineering school here], we launched our [insert undeveloped idea that sounds good on paper here], and raised 1.5 million dollars from Demo Day because we're changing the world.
yungsnuggie over 9 years agoPossibly more valuable label than Stanford in the startup world.
Love it. Although, I did love my iPhone 4S. And it still runs like ALL Apple products I have ever owned!