svhunt
svhunt (108)

8

SWOT Analysis

SWOT is a planning method used to evaluate the strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats of an idea or decision. Jared is ridiculed by the other members of Pied Piper on Silicon Valley for suggesting SWOT because they think it is corporate and a waste of time.

"I've booby trapped the house with corporate resources"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XfB0g_JDIds

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 4 years ago

33

Awesome Journey

Used when a startup has failed. Intend to give a positive spin on what is a gut wrenching moment.

While our startup has failed, it has been an awesome journey.

Added by beenpoor beenpoor over 4 years ago

20

Agile

A term start ups use to justify any corner cutting they have to take to "get shit done"

Jon (developer): Why did you take away all our desks and chairs and replace them with card-board boxes?
Eric (CTO): Jon, we have to be more Agile. Those desks and chairs are paying for one extra EC2 core.

Kelly (developer): Why the fuck did we let Drew write this shitty ass module?
Eric (CTO): We have to be Agile and move at the speed of business. Drew "got shit done".

Added by stevebot stevebot over 4 years ago

8

Self made entrepreneur

A label meaning that an entrepreneur has come from nothing, has not inherited their wealth or startup. A lot of entrepreneurs have found a loophole because while inheriting a lot of money disqualifies one from being self made, receiving a shit ton of money and connections from your parents while they are alive doesn't.

John: How did you possibly hire 50 people without any VC funding. You told me you were self made?
Lyman: My dad gave me a ton of money and connections. Does that count?

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 4 years ago

4

Lifestyle Business

A lifestyle business is a business that is set up and run by its founders primarily with the aim of sustaining a particular level of income and no more; or to provide a foundation from which to enjoy a particular lifestyle.

i.e. Not "Crushing It"

Mike: They had so many paying customers that they were able to become a lifestyle business!
Jon: I'm so sorry to hear that.

Added by mike mike over 4 years ago

33

Code Ninja

A euphemism that is used by Bay Area recruiters who don't actually know what in specific they want in a Software Engineer, just someone who can pretty much do everything and anything that's handed to them.

We're looking to recruit the best Code Ninjas possible for our startup of 4 currently employed non-technical founders. Free pizza will be provided on Wednesdays.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 4 years ago

4

Swag

Clothes and household items given to you by your company to indirectly promote it and create a sense of pride for. To many, it's an unfortunate, but inevitable spending of startup dollars.

I got hired Thursday and Grindr just gave me some awesome swag to celebrate my hire. I got a t-shirt, a coffee mug, a sticker, and protein powder.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 4 years ago

5

Undeclared Engineering Student

This person was smart enough to get into the engineering college of a university and yet undecisive enough to not know what he wanted to actually pick.

My name is Jimmy and I'm an undeclared engineering student trying to decide between, BioE, EECS, MechE, and Civil Engineering.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 4 years ago

4

Grindr

A male to male friend finding app referenced in the first episode of Silicon Valley in which Erlich Bachman claims to have a 10% stake in.

Little more about me.
I am the founder of Aviato.
And I own a very small percentage of Grindr.
It's a men to men dating site where you can find other men within 10 miles of you.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 4 years ago

14

Thiel Fellow

A student under the age of 20 handpicked by Peter Thiel to drop out of college and start a company.

I dropped out of MIT because Peter Thiel just gave me a $100,000 to realize my dream of creating a social network for dogs.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 4 years ago

4

Microsoft

A global corporation that depends for its existence on the inertia of Bob in accounting (see “Excel”.)

Our CIO mandated that the entire company use Google Drive instead of Microsoft Office. He is no longer our CIO.

Added by firasd firasd over 4 years ago

6

Amazon

A company that sells groceries to the lazy, stock shares to the gullible, and cloud services to the lazy and gullible.

Amazon: because I want to buy my underwear and Redis clusters from the same company.

Added by firasd firasd over 4 years ago

13

Social Media

The first team to be downsized when you run out of funding.

Our social media manager was let go after she accidentally posted that Reddit thread to Twitter.

Added by firasd firasd over 4 years ago

89

Waterloo

A mythical University in Canada where many good Engineers and Computer Scientists come from.

Sam: "Where are all these Canadians from?"
Matthew: "We hired 10 interns and 20 full-times from Waterloo. They get shit done because if we don't hire them, they'll have to work for Blackberry."

Added by robert robert over 4 years ago

4

Stealth Mode

A startup that is a phase of secrecy in which they don't reveal what they actually do in an attempt to ward off potential competition.

Zeeshan What do you do?
Steve: I'm in a startup.
Zeeshan: What do you guys do?
Steve: I can't tell you. We're in stealth mode.
Zeeshan: That's dumb.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 4 years ago

6

Tinder Binge

When a person spends immense amount of time swiping right, in an attempt to get any match available regardless of attraction.

Ever since I've broken up with Mary, I've been on a Tinder binge trying to find someone...anyone.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 4 years ago

2

Up and to the Right

An incredible growth curve in your business metrics. Also known as a Hockey Stick curve.

Squeeze the X-axis until your growth curve is Up and to the Right.

Added by firasd firasd over 4 years ago

5

Startup Dinner

When startups provide their employees with free dinner. It is offered partly because your employer is nice but mostly to get you to work longer hours.

Eugene: Hey Alex, are you going to stay for dinner. We are starting to offer free dinner everyday now.
Justin: No I'm ok I was actually going to cook something at home.
Eugene: Are you sure? Please stay

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 4 years ago

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52

Early Employee

A founder who will take 1% of the company instead of 25%. This is a polite way of saying "sucker."

CEO: "We couldn't have done it without a few great early employees."

Added by employeeNumbaOne employeeNumbaOne over 4 years ago

8

Startup Dinner

4 contractors working evenings
$1800

Pizza for 4 full time engineers
$15

"Yes, you can -definitely- expense dinner."

Added by employeeNumbaOne employeeNumbaOne over 4 years ago

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