svhunt
svhunt (108)

6

Codecademy

The default answer lazy software engineers give to their non-techinical friends, when asked what the best way to learn how to code is.

Jimmy: You're such a good programmer. I want to learn how to code, but already have this Haas degree and can't go back to college. What can I do to learn today?

Bobby: I don't know man, google it. I hear Codecademy is a thing. I just want to go back to playing DOTA.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie about 9 years ago

    14

    Hockey Stick Growth

    A way to describe the type of fast growth that VC likes which is up and to the right like a hockey stick. When pitched by founders, it is often accompanied by a y axis that isn't labeled or a growth percentage that doesn't include initial value.

    Matthew: We experienced 1200% user growth in the past week. Our growth is as hockey stick as it gets.
    Sam: How many users did you start off with.
    Matthew: You know... I didn't need to take this meeting. VCs are lining up to fund me

    Added by zazpowered zazpowered about 9 years ago

      7

      Technical Debt

      Reason you give for not shipping shit

      We have a bunch of technical debt we have to work resolve before we can ship X new feature

      Added by Flacko Flacko about 9 years ago

        4

        Lifestyle Business

        A lifestyle business is a business that is set up and run by its founders primarily with the aim of sustaining a particular level of income and no more; or to provide a foundation from which to enjoy a particular lifestyle.

        i.e. Not "Crushing It"

        Mike: They had so many paying customers that they were able to become a lifestyle business!
        Jon: I'm so sorry to hear that.

        Added by mike mike about 9 years ago

          5

          Startup Social Worth

          When your Silicon Valley social worth is based on which startups you have founded or work at.

          Sidecar Employee at bar: There are so many Uber employees here. I have no chance with these women

          Added by zazpowered zazpowered about 9 years ago

            3

            The Crunchies

            A tech award show held in San Francisco where Techcrunch gives trophies to millionaire entrepreneurs and investors in an attempt to mirror an archaic Hollywood practice.

            Rob: I don't know why they gave us these things. It's like a statue to celebrate how much money we've earned? What did you do with your Crunchie?

            Martha: I gave it to my housekeeper's child.

            Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 9 years ago

            3

            Customer Service Guru

            Someone who is an expert within the field of serving customers. They are skilled in motivating staff with new ideas and by speaking about the importance of customer service.

            Errol Allen is a very skilled customer service guru.
            http://www.customerserviceguru.co.uk/articles/everything-affects-somebody-else-errol-allen-customer-service-right/

            Added by thepaleking thepaleking over 8 years ago

              4

              Free and open-source software

              Anyone is freely licensed to use, copy, study, and change the software in any way, and the source code is openly shared so that people are encouraged to voluntarily improve it's design.

              Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 9 years ago

                4

                Swag

                Clothes and household items given to you by your company to indirectly promote it and create a sense of pride for. To many, it's an unfortunate, but inevitable spending of startup dollars.

                I got hired Thursday and Grindr just gave me some awesome swag to celebrate my hire. I got a t-shirt, a coffee mug, a sticker, and protein powder.

                Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie about 9 years ago

                  4

                  Grindr

                  A male to male friend finding app referenced in the first episode of Silicon Valley in which Erlich Bachman claims to have a 10% stake in.

                  Little more about me.
                  I am the founder of Aviato.
                  And I own a very small percentage of Grindr.
                  It's a men to men dating site where you can find other men within 10 miles of you.

                  Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie about 9 years ago

                    13

                    Social Media

                    The first team to be downsized when you run out of funding.

                    Our social media manager was let go after she accidentally posted that Reddit thread to Twitter.

                    Added by firasd firasd about 9 years ago

                      4

                      Stealth Mode

                      A startup that is a phase of secrecy in which they don't reveal what they actually do in an attempt to ward off potential competition.

                      Zeeshan What do you do?
                      Steve: I'm in a startup.
                      Zeeshan: What do you guys do?
                      Steve: I can't tell you. We're in stealth mode.
                      Zeeshan: That's dumb.

                      Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie about 9 years ago

                        6

                        Tinder Binge

                        When a person spends immense amount of time swiping right, in an attempt to get any match available regardless of attraction.

                        Ever since I've broken up with Mary, I've been on a Tinder binge trying to find someone...anyone.

                        Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie about 9 years ago

                          6

                          Amazon

                          A company that sells groceries to the lazy, stock shares to the gullible, and cloud services to the lazy and gullible.

                          Amazon: because I want to buy my underwear and Redis clusters from the same company.

                          Added by firasd firasd about 9 years ago

                            4

                            Microsoft

                            A global corporation that depends for its existence on the inertia of Bob in accounting (see “Excel”.)

                            Our CIO mandated that the entire company use Google Drive instead of Microsoft Office. He is no longer our CIO.

                            Added by firasd firasd about 9 years ago

                              5

                              Undeclared Engineering Student

                              This person was smart enough to get into the engineering college of a university and yet undecisive enough to not know what he wanted to actually pick.

                              My name is Jimmy and I'm an undeclared engineering student trying to decide between, BioE, EECS, MechE, and Civil Engineering.

                              Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie about 9 years ago

                                6

                                On Demand

                                Another way of saying "for lazy people."

                                Meals on demand. That's right, we're revolutionizing the way you get pizza.

                                Added by employeeNumbaOne employeeNumbaOne about 9 years ago

                                  8

                                  Code Masochist

                                  A person pursuing a CS degree from a university who finds everything way to easy for his own good, so to challenge himself (or herself) he or she purposely does the projects on the last day so they can feel a comparable amount of pressure to the other students who've sometimes had up to a month to finish. (Can also apply to software engineering employees who do their work irrationally close to the deadline).

                                  Hai was such a code masochist that he decided to do his upper div cs projects 12 hours before it was due. The professor assigned it 4 weeks ago.

                                  Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie about 9 years ago

                                    5

                                    Asshole Gifting

                                    to present a recently purchased item of large value to others; best done while being Russ Hanneman.

                                    Dinesh: "So you wanted to show us that you weren't an asshole by showing us the car you just bought for yourself?"

                                    Added by whportman whportman about 9 years ago

                                      5

                                      Ponyfill

                                      A safe polyfill which doesn’t modify global objects and, as a polyfill, uses the native implementation if it is available. Coined by Sindre Sorhus, who has made many of them.

                                      Bob: And we'll just throw this in as an ES6 polyfill....
                                      Jack: No - it's a ponyfill - don't mix them up. See the `unicorn | approved` tag in the README? Yes, ponyfill - not polyfill.

                                      Added by dc2 dc2 almost 9 years ago