svhunt
svhunt (108)

2

The Shell Dilemma

When your startup reaches the point where you only have engineers on your team, all of which become a hollow unexciting shell of themselves in the board room. This is when you end up having to compromise and add your first non-technical founder because he is an incredible orator and can represent the product you built better than anyone on your team can.

On the Silicon Valley TV show, Richard faces the shell dilemma when he finds he cannot pitch his idea without sweating profusely and messing up. He seeks help from his friend Erlich Bachman afterward to save him.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie about 5 years ago

    3

    Git

    A version control system used by everybody. If you don't use it, you're probably a git.

    Joe: I don't use git.
    Bill: You're a git.

    Added by zander zander about 5 years ago

      6

      Gluttonygramming

      Programming and working at a slower pace to purposely get more food out of the company.

      Jordan didn't feel like cooking dinner so he started gluttonygramming to force the company employee policy of paying a 15$ credit for engineer's dinner who works until after 7.

      Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie about 5 years ago

        6

        Adblock Competenacy Test

        Checking to see if a person has enough basic knowledge to have installed adblock on their browser of choice.

        After opening the link to the new Justin Bieber music video, George failed the Adblock Competency Test after waiting for a 30 second Honda commercial to end.

        Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie about 5 years ago

          2

          The Algorithm Exit

          Ending an argument or justifying an explanation by claiming one's algorithm is superior without any sort of justification of said algorithm. Often used in Hollywood produced films.

          After getting in a 2 hour argument on whose product was better, Jeremy screamed that his algorithm was superior making an algorithm exit, shutting the door behind him.

          Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie about 5 years ago

            14

            Swift

            Swift is a multi-paradigm, compiled programming language created by Apple Inc. It is also the last name of a famous American pop star.

            Zeeshan: Your resume says you have 10 years of Swift experience.
            Intern Applicant: Yes sir.
            Zeeshan: You do realize it hasn't been around for that long...
            Intern Applicant: Sorry sir I was trying to look cool.

            Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie about 5 years ago

              5

              No Free Lunch

              An expression known all to well to employees at Apple Inc, who are required to pay for their own lunch.

              Back at Google we'd get free food during all times of day, but here at Apple it comes out of my salary because there's no free lunch.

              Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie about 5 years ago

                4

                Steve Jobs

                The subject of Hollywood biopics and Silicon Valley biographies for the next couple decades. People on the internet (computer programmers in particular) complain about they are after paying money to see it.

                He is also the founder of Apple Computer and Pixar Inc.

                Hey Jimmy I'm sad because every Steve Jobs movie I watch is the same thing.
                - YOUNG STEVE JOBS DOING PSYCHIADELICS
                - HE'S BACK FROM INDIA (WOAH HOW RANDOM HES A VEGETARIAN NOW)
                - STEVE JOBS LOOKING AT STEVE WOZNIAK WITH HIS MOUTH WATERING ABOUT HOW HE CAN SELL WHAT WOZ IS BUILDING
                - STEVE JOBS HAS AN ILLIGENTIAMTE CHILD (WOAH HE NAMES THE COMPUTER AFTER IT LATER?!)
                - STEVE JOBS YELLS AT SOME GUY WHO PROBABLY DOESN'T DESERVE IT. SOME GUY GETS MAD AT STEVE JOBS SAYING HE'S OUT OF LINE
                - STEVE JOBS HIRES THE CEO OF PEPSI (DO YOU WANT TO SELL SUGAR WATER FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, WOAH HOW COOL)
                - STEVE JOBS IS FIRED AND SCREAMS WHILE DRIVING HIS CAR HOME
                - STEVE JOBS STARTS ANOTHER COMPANY AND ACTS LIKE A SMUG BASTARD WHEN THE COMPANY IS DOING SHITTY
                - STEVE JOBS GOES BACK TO THE COMPANY AND IT DOES WELL (DISCREETLY ALLUDE TO THE IPOD)
                - THROW IN SOMETHING ABOUT CALLIGRAPHY, WOZ EATING A HOTDOG, AND SOME DRAMATIC QUOTES TAKEN OUT OF CONTEXT AND FADE TO BLACK

                Let's watch Jurassic World instead because Dinosaurs.

                Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie about 5 years ago

                  4

                  *Insert Company Name Here* Happy Hour

                  We will give you free booze to browse our app, have a positive impression of us, and meet other people doing the same thing.

                  You should come to our Product Hunt Happy Hour early this Thursday. There's normally a line wrapping around the building.

                  Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie about 5 years ago

                    9

                    Ramen Profitable

                    When a startup makes enough money to pay for the founders' living expenses. To read more check out Paul Graham's post on it

                    Matthew: Just because it's called ramen profitable doesn't mean you need to be eating ramen all the time. There are other foods in the same price range.
                    Kilim: Wait I don't?

                    Added by zazpowered zazpowered about 5 years ago

                      4

                      CUI

                      Coding under the influence.

                      Last Tuesday, Jeremy decided to code from a bar near his house instead of going to work. His code was very sloppy so the PM on the team gave him a CUI warning.

                      Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie about 5 years ago

                        5

                        Maven

                        The go-to self-descriptor for social media marketing professionals in their 20-somethings. They, like, totally know social media and can tweet for your brand and stuff. Used interchangeably with guru, expert, ninja, etc.

                        I went through these résumés and threw out anyone who referred to themselves as a "social media maven."

                        Added by supernovanGirl supernovanGirl about 5 years ago

                          3

                          Low Fidelity Prototype

                          Drawing what your app would look like on a bunch of paper and asking people to pretend it's a real app. This saves you the time of making something on your computer...(which ironically would actually take less time for alot of people).

                          My low fidelity prototype flew away when the wind got really strong when I was testing my app for hobos at Golden Gate Park.

                          Added by HalfLife3 HalfLife3 almost 5 years ago

                          • RobotCowboy RobotCowboy

                            I would actually call this "Paper Prototype". Low-Fidelity can be digital.

                            1
                            Reply
                            almost 5 years ago
                          4

                          Server Down Saturday

                          A Saturday night where a video game's server crashes and one has to go out and socialize with people in person.

                          We had a server down saturday this past weekend, so I went to Julia's party. It was the first time I had talked to a girl in real life in months.

                          Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie about 5 years ago

                            5

                            Airbnb Job

                            Refers to the job of renting out sections of your own apartment or even renting and purchasing new property for the sole purpose of renting out on Airbnb.

                            Rachel: You told me you didn't have a job.
                            Tim: Oh, it's an Airbnb job. Not a real job but my closet is fetching $800 a month right now so I make good money.

                            Added by zazpowered zazpowered about 5 years ago

                              6

                              Duck Syndrome

                              The duck syndrome is where on the surface of things, someone seems normal and are floating along peacefully. However, the truth is that underneath the water the person is paddling feverishly to keep going.

                              People: Oh dude! Everything in the startup world seems fun!
                              You: Oh yeah man! I love it, it's super easy. *cries deeply inside*

                              Added by Spshulem Spshulem about 5 years ago

                                6

                                Single Point of Failure

                                When your start-up has only one unisex toilet for the whole building.

                                Our single point of failure is backed up to "the cloud" (or "the butt")

                                Added by FuctCo5K FuctCo5K about 5 years ago

                                  6

                                  Freemium

                                  A strategy used by startups to make money by shoving as many people through the top of a funnel as possible and hoping some of them convert into paid users.

                                  Matthew: Right now we have a shitty product that nobody will pay for. Lets release it for free so at least somebody will use it and then we can gradually improve it and charge them for extra services.

                                  Added by zazpowered zazpowered about 5 years ago

                                    4

                                    Zombie Mode

                                    A state of minimal eye or head movement while looking at a phone. Frequently observed during your morning commute to work on BART, subway or bus. If you look up once in a while to observe your surroundings you are not in zombie mode.

                                    Jason: Hey do you see that guy sitting over there. That's my dad. Why is taking the bus right now.
                                    Tim: Sorry say that again. I wasn't listening

                                    Added by zazpowered zazpowered about 5 years ago

                                      7

                                      Three Commas Club

                                      Three commas to imply a billion dollars as $1,000,000,000 has 3 commas. To be in the three commas club is to be a billionaire.

                                      Richard’s literalness remains the one thing to rattle Russ. “You know what has three commas in it, Richard?” “A sentence with two appositive phrases in it?”

                                      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xzMUrB-Um1Y

                                      Added by arunaharsa arunaharsa about 5 years ago