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svhunt (108)

4

*Insert Company Name Here* Happy Hour

We will give you free booze to browse our app, have a positive impression of us, and meet other people doing the same thing.

You should come to our Product Hunt Happy Hour early this Thursday. There's normally a line wrapping around the building.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 4 years ago

35

MBA

Certification that you've read case studies on how others have succeeded.

Steve: Have you started your business yet?
Jeremey: No I'm getting my MBA. I'll start my first business when I'm 30 and have a wife and kids.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 4 years ago

40

Bus Factor

The number of people that need to be hit by a bus before their project is dead.

"Our engineers work in teams of 10 for the higher bus factor"

Added by asdf asdf over 4 years ago

5

No Free Lunch

An expression known all to well to employees at Apple Inc, who are required to pay for their own lunch.

Back at Google we'd get free food during all times of day, but here at Apple it comes out of my salary because there's no free lunch.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 4 years ago

30

Vanity Metrics

Useless data that looks good but does not necessarily correlate real success.

Bob: Our website gets a million views daily!
Mark: How many of them are you converting to paid users?
Bob: Well.. we are still working on that.

Added by serge serge over 4 years ago

11

Lean Startup

A startup philosophy that attempts to combine the aspects of product driven with customer driven resulting in often successful, and simultaneously mediocre apps and websites that fails to bring forth truly disruptive technology.

Bob: I've spent all day doing customer development surveys for my Uber for tutoring app.

Alice: That's nice. I just finished some testing for my needle-free vaccine delivery system.

Bob: [Walks away feeling sorry for Alice, who has no clue what his customers really want and won't be able to pivot after sinking such large R&D costs]

Added by Mcat Mcat over 4 years ago

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20

Technical Founder

A 5.0 student from MIT, the technical founder is a lone wolf who thinks business people are completely useless. You're a social media manager? Get the fuck out of here. His code is perfectly architected, clean and commented in all the right places. His startups fail because he doesn't think writing CSS is worth his time and his sites look like shit as a result.

Technical founder: I was almost about to team up with a non-technical cofounder but then he told me he wanted a user interface to manage our sites content.

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 4 years ago

8

Ballmer Peak

Discovered by Microsoft in the late 80's, somehow a blood alcohol content between 0.129% and 0.138% confers superhuman programming ability.

Alice: "The Ballmer Peak is a delicate effect requiring careful calibration. You can't just give a team of coders a year's supply of whiskey and tell them to get cracking.

Bob: "Has that ever happened?"

Alice: "Remember Windows ME?"

Added by hunterlane hunterlane over 4 years ago

7

Three Commas Club

Three commas to imply a billion dollars as $1,000,000,000 has 3 commas. To be in the three commas club is to be a billionaire.

Richard’s literalness remains the one thing to rattle Russ. “You know what has three commas in it, Richard?” “A sentence with two appositive phrases in it?”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xzMUrB-Um1Y

Added by arunaharsa arunaharsa over 4 years ago

13

Zero Billion

Any amount under 1 billion, rendering you off of Forbes billionaire's list, if you round down.

I'm not a billionaire anymore. I'm a nine-hundred-and-eighty-sixionaire, which isn't even a fucking thing. If you round down, I have zero billion.

Added by mczajka mczajka over 4 years ago

6

Single Point of Failure

When your start-up has only one unisex toilet for the whole building.

Our single point of failure is backed up to "the cloud" (or "the butt")

Added by FuctCo5K FuctCo5K over 4 years ago

8

Eat Your Own Dog Food

Actually using the product that you make.

To realize the users' pain points with your product, you have to eat your own dog food and actually use it.

Added by trescomas trescomas over 4 years ago

3

Pain Points

The parts of your (imagined, potential) customer's business process that makes him/her want to jam their sushi chopsticks up their nose and slam his/her head onto his/her desk.

The parts of your new technology you created that make your customers reach for the chopsticks. They're totally forgotten by you, because your kludge to work around them have become an invisible habit (unknown knowns).

Reporter: "What happened to this one, doc?"
Coroner: "Another double, trans-nasal frontal lobotomy. His pain point was trying to paste an Excel spreadsheet into a web-based ERP system."

Added by FuctCo5K FuctCo5K over 4 years ago

7

Rubber Duck Debugging

Many programmers have had the experience of explaining a programming problem to someone else, possibly even to someone who knows nothing about programming, and then hitting upon the solution in the process of explaining the problem. In describing what the code is supposed to do and observing what it actually does, any incongruity between these two becomes apparent.

"Hey dude, are you talking to someone?" Nah dude, I'm just rubber duck debugging. "Oh cool, thought you were crazy."

Added by Spshulem Spshulem over 4 years ago

6

Duck Syndrome

The duck syndrome is where on the surface of things, someone seems normal and are floating along peacefully. However, the truth is that underneath the water the person is paddling feverishly to keep going.

People: Oh dude! Everything in the startup world seems fun!
You: Oh yeah man! I love it, it's super easy. *cries deeply inside*

Added by Spshulem Spshulem over 4 years ago

7

Culture Reset

The CEO's or CTO's reason for firing half of the engineering department.

"Steve, with our new culture reset, we're going to have to let you go. You just didn't fit the culture."

Added by planningtime planningtime over 4 years ago

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6

Freemium

A strategy used by startups to make money by shoving as many people through the top of a funnel as possible and hoping some of them convert into paid users.

Matthew: Right now we have a shitty product that nobody will pay for. Lets release it for free so at least somebody will use it and then we can gradually improve it and charge them for extra services.

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 4 years ago

21

Innovator

A catch-all euphemism for "douchebag." Frequently used to a) describe one's self in a Twitter bio/LinkedIn headline or b) describe others when you're not really sure what they do exactly, but it probably has something to do with disruption or artisanal donuts or growth hacking or some shit.

Your LinkedIn headline: "Innovator/CEO of Douche, The World's First Ephemeral Craft Beer Wearable."

Added by supernovanGirl supernovanGirl over 4 years ago

5

Maven

The go-to self-descriptor for social media marketing professionals in their 20-somethings. They, like, totally know social media and can tweet for your brand and stuff. Used interchangeably with guru, expert, ninja, etc.

I went through these résumés and threw out anyone who referred to themselves as a "social media maven."

Added by supernovanGirl supernovanGirl over 4 years ago

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5

Airbnb Job

Refers to the job of renting out sections of your own apartment or even renting and purchasing new property for the sole purpose of renting out on Airbnb.

Rachel: You told me you didn't have a job.
Tim: Oh, it's an Airbnb job. Not a real job but my closet is fetching $800 a month right now so I make good money.

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 4 years ago