pygmyknight
pygmyknight (75)

6

Pre-Revenue

The bullshit an entrepreneur spews to investors to convince them of a high valuation since the seed money will allow the startup to grow immeasurably. Usually followed by more bullshit, greater valuations and eventually and a low revenue to evaluation ratio and companies which never attain revenues to justify their evaluation.

Currently the greatest contribution to the startup bubble.

Person A: How can that startup afford golden toilets and helicopter rides to work?

Person B: Of course they can, they are pre-revenue and focusing on growth!

Added by JonWilkins JonWilkins almost 7 years ago

20

Technical Founder

A 5.0 student from MIT, the technical founder is a lone wolf who thinks business people are completely useless. You're a social media manager? Get the fuck out of here. His code is perfectly architected, clean and commented in all the right places. His startups fail because he doesn't think writing CSS is worth his time and his sites look like shit as a result.

Technical founder: I was almost about to team up with a non-technical cofounder but then he told me he wanted a user interface to manage our sites content.

Added by zazpowered zazpowered almost 7 years ago

5

Beauty Disadvantage Phenomenon

Outside of Silicon Valley good looking people tend to make more money and are seen as more competent. Within Silicon Valley (and this might only apply to technical roles) the opposite is true. Perception of an engineer's technical prowess is inversely related to how good they look. This phenomenon affects women multiplicatively.

Could be the cause of Software engineer uniform (http://svdictionary.com/words/software-engineer-uniform)

Kilim: Damn a pretty girl just joined our team. We will have to carry her load.
Matthew: Wow. I guess the beauty disadvantage phenomenon is real.

Added by zazpowered zazpowered about 7 years ago

    11

    Lean Startup

    A startup philosophy that attempts to combine the aspects of product driven with customer driven resulting in often successful, and simultaneously mediocre apps and websites that fails to bring forth truly disruptive technology.

    Bob: I've spent all day doing customer development surveys for my Uber for tutoring app.

    Alice: That's nice. I just finished some testing for my needle-free vaccine delivery system.

    Bob: [Walks away feeling sorry for Alice, who has no clue what his customers really want and won't be able to pivot after sinking such large R&D costs]

    Added by Mcat Mcat almost 7 years ago

      6

      Silicone Valley

      A nickname for Los Angeles, plastic surgery capital of the world. Commonly mistaken for Silicon Valley.

      I'm going down to Silicone Valley this year for an Oscar Party.

      Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 7 years ago

      29

      Silicon Valley Billionaire

      Silicon Valley Billionaires tend to be younger, poorer dressed and generally less douchey than billionaires from other areas. Some are so poorly dressed that it is often hard to distinguish one from a hobo. In New York, a 23 year old scrawny male with t-shirt and jeans might be told to fuck off at a Lambourhini dealership but the same thing would never happen in Silicon Valley.

      Sales person: Do you think I should even talk to that guy over there. It doesn't look like he can afford a car.
      2nd sales person: That's Mark Zuckerberg

      Added by zazpowered zazpowered about 7 years ago

        37

        Uber of...

        Commonly used by startup founders to compare their mediocre startup or idea to the startup unicorn Uber.

        Startup Founder: We're the Uber of food delivery.
        VC: Uhhh... so is everyone else.

        Added by ssc242 ssc242 almost 7 years ago

        • iceariel13 iceariel13

          Yep, seamless, delivery,com, munchery, caviar...the list never ends

          1
          Reply
          almost 7 years ago
        • N.Hemingway N.Hemingway

          You should additionally add "Facebook of..." probably the most heard phrase since 2010 ;D

          1
          Reply
          almost 7 years ago
        26

        Engineer Hot Girl Syndrome

        When a non-technical founder starts treating really good engineers like attractive girls, asking them out to dinner, buying them gifts arbitrarily, and sometimes getting nervous in their presence.

        Zeeshan's friend Vishnu is such a good programmer I get engineer hot girl syndrome in his presence. I want him on our team so badly.

        Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 7 years ago

          10

          10x Engineer

          A developer who incurs technical debt so fast he appears more productive than the ten developers tasked with cleaning his mess up.

          Founder: "We are only looking for 10x Engineers."

          Added by employeeNumbaOne employeeNumbaOne almost 7 years ago

            93

            Waterloo

            A mythical University in Canada where many good Engineers and Computer Scientists come from.

            Sam: "Where are all these Canadians from?"
            Matthew: "We hired 10 interns and 20 full-times from Waterloo. They get shit done because if we don't hire them, they'll have to work for Blackberry."

            Added by robert robert almost 7 years ago

            • zazpowered zazpowered

              @orien No what are you talking about

              1
              Reply
              almost 7 years ago
            • zazpowered zazpowered

              @SingleCommaClub It's similar to what you see from immigrants to a new country like US or Canada

              1
              Reply
              almost 7 years ago
            • zazpowered zazpowered

              I have a lot of friends from canada and waterloo and this seems really accurate from what i've heard

              1
              Reply
              almost 7 years ago
            • charlesjo charlesjo

              It's like a parallel universe of Silicon Valley where people speak American English...

              3
              Reply
              almost 7 years ago
            • orien orien

              @zazpowered aren't you from waterloo

              2
              Reply
              almost 7 years ago
            • freefunctor freefunctor

              @SingleCommaClub That's not true at all. Pretty much everyone I know from my graduating class got offers from US companies. A significant proportion of students choose to stay because the region is booming right now, and also the quality of life in Canada is pretty high.

              2
              Reply
              almost 7 years ago
            • zazpowered zazpowered

              @freefunctor toronto and canada are awesome

              2
              Reply
              almost 7 years ago
            • SingleCommaClub SingleCommaClub

              Have worked with a lot of engineers from Waterloo through internships and full time. Can honestly say they are very talented, but there is a bias because all the ones that make it to US companies are generally top notch.

              2
              Reply
              almost 7 years ago
            • Devilinlimbo Devilinlimbo

              I love this site!

              6
              Reply
              over 5 years ago
            36

            MBA

            Certification that you've read case studies on how others have succeeded.

            Steve: Have you started your business yet?
            Jeremey: No I'm getting my MBA. I'll start my first business when I'm 30 and have a wife and kids.

            Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 7 years ago

            30

            Stack

            Refers to the variety of technologies used to build and maintain your website, app, or service. Might also refer to a large amount of pancakes.

            Son: Hey pops, wanna throw another stack on my plate? Pass the syrup too.
            Pops: No son, your stack needs to maintainable, don't let your code base get out of control!

            Added by zander zander almost 7 years ago