pygmyknight (77)
Acquihire
When a startup is bought with the sole purpose of hiring the startup's employees versus obtaining the product/users. Generally, startups that get acquhired are struggling and the move is done as a last resort.
Alex: I heard your startup got acquired by Facebook. Give me some of that startup money.
John: It was an acquihire. I don't want to talk about it.
zazpowered over 9 years agoDeliverables
A startup uses this word when it's no longer a startup
"Hey congrats on the series B!"
"Thanks! Are your deliverables in yet?"
orien over 9 years ago@orien you would comment on your own definition
AVIATO
Erlich Bachman's ex-startup.
Reference: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ukUxx6TvXPY
Erlich: Take aviato for instance. It's not a name I found. It's the name that found me. Erlich: I'm the founder of aviato. Erlich: Like A~V~I~A~T~O
svhunt over 9 years agoHaashole
A student pursuing an undergraduate, Masters, or PhD degree from UC Berkeley's Haas School of Business.
I don't know whether to add Derrick to our Hackathon team. He's just a Haashole who tries too hard and doesn't understand how anything works. He's a great bullshiter though so maybe he would be useful for the presentation.
covfefelord over 9 years agoSoftware Engineer Uniform
What software engineers tend to wear. Consists of a badly fitting plain or graphic t-shirt or polo and a badly fitting light blue pair of jeans. The best engineers also wear sandals with socks
Rachel: Jesus christ what is John wearing?
David: Are you new to Silicon Valley? That's the software engineer uniform.
zazpowered over 9 years agoThe Woz
Legendary Apple Co-Founder and alumni of UC Berkeley rumored to have mystical power beyond human understanding. A lounge in UC Berkeley's Soda Hall is named after him in his honor.
The Woz has somehow managed to outlive his co-founder Steve Jobs, who ironically cared alot more about his diet and health than he did. I wonder what he knows that the world doesn't.
covfefelord over 9 years ago
Big Data
When your database takes at least 2 minutes to export to a CSV.
Engineer: "Our mongo collection hit 1 million records a few moments ago."
Hiring Manager: "Great, now I can post this position for a Big Data Engineer on Hacker News."
planningtime over 9 years agoResting and vesting
When you have equity in a company that hasn't fully vested yet and stay at the company even though you have no real role there.
Matthew: Why are you on the roof park all the time, aren't you the VP of marketing?
Hemant: Yes but that's just a title. I'm really resting and vesting
zazpowered over 9 years agoCodecademy
The default answer lazy software engineers give to their non-techinical friends, when asked what the best way to learn how to code is.
Jimmy: You're such a good programmer. I want to learn how to code, but already have this Haas degree and can't go back to college. What can I do to learn today? Bobby: I don't know man, google it. I hear Codecademy is a thing. I just want to go back to playing DOTA.
yungsnuggie over 9 years agoHockey Stick Growth
A way to describe the type of fast growth that VC likes which is up and to the right like a hockey stick. When pitched by founders, it is often accompanied by a y axis that isn't labeled or a growth percentage that doesn't include initial value.
Matthew: We experienced 1200% user growth in the past week. Our growth is as hockey stick as it gets.
Sam: How many users did you start off with.
Matthew: You know... I didn't need to take this meeting. VCs are lining up to fund me
zazpowered over 9 years agoTo the moon
A phrase often used by those in the cryptocurrency community. Usually used when the value of currency goes up high very rapidly.
Bitcoin Jackson: WOW! One bitcoin is now worth $900! And it's only gonna go up! Up to the right and to the moon!! A month later.... Bitcoin John: Hey Jackson, so I heard that you made a ton of money from bitcoins. Did you invest at its peak?
Bitcoin Jackson: yeah.... about that... I don't want to talk about it.
svhunt over 9 years agoEnterprise
Adj. -- a synonym for "takes longer, but for way more money"
Sales: "The enterprise sales cycle takes months, but we're talking about whales here."
Manager: "All right, we've IPO'd now. It's time to adhere to enterprise process standards."
Engineer: "The enterprise module is going to be a huge effort, but if you're sure it'll be worth it..."
Sales & Engineering: "Does that mean we get raises?"
employeeNumbaOne over 9 years agoLiquidity Event
Founders start off owning the entire company.
Then they convince VCs to buy some of it, and they use that money to pay themselves salaries.
Then the VCs convince either retail investors or a megacorporation to buy the company, and that's a liquidity event.
This sounds like a pyramid scheme, but trust me, it isn't.
Employees can't do anything with their stock options until a liquidity event.
employeeNumbaOne over 9 years agoNoncompete Agreement
Any agreement by which:
- The employee pretends they won't go work for the competition.
- The employer pretends it's enforceable in the State of California.
Engineer #1: "They wanted me to sign a noncompete."
Engineers: "AHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
employeeNumbaOne over 9 years agoRental Property
The only real way to make money in Silicon Valley.
Owning Silicon Valley rental property sure beats working for a living!
FuctCo5K over 9 years agoGet Shit Done
A phrase taking to mean "fuck everything you learned in CS class and code like Jack Kerouac until we get the release out"
Eric(CTO): Guys its time to "get shit done". Stop writing tests and let's just crank this thing out. Eric (CTO): Drew likes to "get shit done". I wish more of you developers could crank out KLOC's like him.
stevebot over 9 years agoStartup Social Worth
When your Silicon Valley social worth is based on which startups you have founded or work at.
Sidecar Employee at bar: There are so many Uber employees here. I have no chance with these women
zazpowered over 9 years agoBrain Rape
Intellectual property robbery thinly disguised as acquisition talk. Usually committed by a big company on a startup. Yelp got brainraped by Google back in the day.
http://www.quora.com/Silicon-Valley-Season-2-Episode-2-Runaway-Devaluation/What-was-the-reference-to-Yelp-in-episode-2-of-season-2-of-Silicon-Valley
Erlich: They're brainraping us right?
Gerald: They definitely are.
Erlich: Shit!
svhunt over 9 years agoStealth Gaming Club
A college or highschool club that claims to be a place for computer science enthusiasts, but really is there to just play video games all day with the equipment they buy with the money they get allocated.
I've heard rumors that Computer Science Undergrad club at our school is just a stealth gaming club that gathers on the weekdays between class just to play LoL all day.
yungsnuggie over 9 years ago
first