pygmyknight
pygmyknight (75)

33

Code Ninja

A euphemism that is used by Bay Area recruiters who don't actually know what in specific they want in a Software Engineer, just someone who can pretty much do everything and anything that's handed to them.

We're looking to recruit the best Code Ninjas possible for our startup of 4 currently employed non-technical founders. Free pizza will be provided on Wednesdays.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 7 years ago

  • charlesjo charlesjo

    Also used oddly and inappropriately by non-Asians as term of endearment to their Asian-American friends.

    1
    Reply
    almost 7 years ago
5

Stealth Gaming Club

A college or highschool club that claims to be a place for computer science enthusiasts, but really is there to just play video games all day with the equipment they buy with the money they get allocated.

I've heard rumors that Computer Science Undergrad club at our school is just a stealth gaming club that gathers on the weekdays between class just to play LoL all day.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 7 years ago

    6

    My Code is Compiling

    An excuse engineers use to do whatever the hell they want in the workplace.

    Jimmy: Dude why are you riding your bike indoors, listening to Daft Punk with the speakers blasted, without any pants on?
    Lewis: My code is compiling.

    Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 7 years ago

      5

      Oculus Rift

      A virtual reality helmet with the capability of letting engineers experience a girlfriend or boyfriend without actually having to leave their home to find one. It was purchased by Facebook who immediately saw the device's potential.

      I've been building this awesome simulator that lets you go on a picnic with anime characters on Oculus Rift.

      Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 7 years ago

        14

        Thiel Fellow

        A student under the age of 20 handpicked by Peter Thiel to drop out of college and start a company.

        I dropped out of MIT because Peter Thiel just gave me a $100,000 to realize my dream of creating a social network for dogs.

        Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 7 years ago

          6

          Snapchat

          A mobile app that lets you share intimate pictures with the people you just met at the bar instantly. It also lets you share temporary moments of your life that are not cool enough or sometimes too embarrassing to share on Facebook or Twitter.

          I just add everyone I meet on Snapchat and send them pictures of the cat I found on my street.

          Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 7 years ago

            13

            Social Media

            The first team to be downsized when you run out of funding.

            Our social media manager was let go after she accidentally posted that Reddit thread to Twitter.

            Added by firasd firasd almost 7 years ago

              93

              Waterloo

              A mythical University in Canada where many good Engineers and Computer Scientists come from.

              Sam: "Where are all these Canadians from?"
              Matthew: "We hired 10 interns and 20 full-times from Waterloo. They get shit done because if we don't hire them, they'll have to work for Blackberry."

              Added by robert robert almost 7 years ago

              • zazpowered zazpowered

                @orien No what are you talking about

                1
                Reply
                almost 7 years ago
              • zazpowered zazpowered

                @SingleCommaClub It's similar to what you see from immigrants to a new country like US or Canada

                1
                Reply
                almost 7 years ago
              • zazpowered zazpowered

                I have a lot of friends from canada and waterloo and this seems really accurate from what i've heard

                1
                Reply
                almost 7 years ago
              • charlesjo charlesjo

                It's like a parallel universe of Silicon Valley where people speak American English...

                3
                Reply
                almost 7 years ago
              • orien orien

                @zazpowered aren't you from waterloo

                2
                Reply
                almost 7 years ago
              • freefunctor freefunctor

                @SingleCommaClub That's not true at all. Pretty much everyone I know from my graduating class got offers from US companies. A significant proportion of students choose to stay because the region is booming right now, and also the quality of life in Canada is pretty high.

                2
                Reply
                almost 7 years ago
              • zazpowered zazpowered

                @freefunctor toronto and canada are awesome

                2
                Reply
                almost 7 years ago
              • SingleCommaClub SingleCommaClub

                Have worked with a lot of engineers from Waterloo through internships and full time. Can honestly say they are very talented, but there is a bias because all the ones that make it to US companies are generally top notch.

                2
                Reply
                almost 7 years ago
              • Devilinlimbo Devilinlimbo

                I love this site!

                6
                Reply
                over 5 years ago
              6

              Tinder Binge

              When a person spends immense amount of time swiping right, in an attempt to get any match available regardless of attraction.

              Ever since I've broken up with Mary, I've been on a Tinder binge trying to find someone...anyone.

              Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 7 years ago

                5

                Startup Dinner

                When startups provide their employees with free dinner. It is offered partly because your employer is nice but mostly to get you to work longer hours.

                Eugene: Hey Alex, are you going to stay for dinner. We are starting to offer free dinner everyday now.
                Justin: No I'm ok I was actually going to cook something at home.
                Eugene: Are you sure? Please stay

                Added by zazpowered zazpowered almost 7 years ago

                  52

                  Early Employee

                  A founder who will take 1% of the company instead of 25%. This is a polite way of saying "sucker."

                  CEO: "We couldn't have done it without a few great early employees."

                  Added by employeeNumbaOne employeeNumbaOne almost 7 years ago

                  • SingleCommaClub SingleCommaClub

                    I still wouldn't minded having been an early employee at Facebook or Uber.

                    4
                    Reply
                    almost 7 years ago
                  • employeeNumbaOne employeeNumbaOne

                    @silconobserver Zach Holman.

                    1
                    Reply
                    about 6 years ago
                  • silconobserver silconobserver

                    This is total and utter bullshit. The founder risks his entire savings, family/friend relationships and pours his life into his startup. When things finally begin to work he goes out and hires the first few employees. In return the "early employees" get paid market rate or slightly below market rate and get equity and the founder gets painted as a greedy bastard? Who is the real sucker here

                    3
                    Reply
                    over 6 years ago
                  5

                  Cache of Innovation

                  A hyper localized and typically rural subset of engineers who choose to live places other than silicon valley and are exploited by politicians as examples of economic development.

                  Andy: Montana has a cache of innovation ready to explode.
                  Dave: Don't they still work work for bay area companies and just work remotely?
                  Andy: That's not the point. Programmers are the key to renewed economic development.

                  Added by client4 client4 almost 7 years ago

                    8

                    Startup Dinner

                    4 contractors working evenings
                    $1800

                    Pizza for 4 full time engineers
                    $15

                    "Yes, you can -definitely- expense dinner."

                    Added by employeeNumbaOne employeeNumbaOne almost 7 years ago

                      10

                      10x Engineer

                      A developer who incurs technical debt so fast he appears more productive than the ten developers tasked with cleaning his mess up.

                      Founder: "We are only looking for 10x Engineers."

                      Added by employeeNumbaOne employeeNumbaOne almost 7 years ago

                        5

                        Doors of a billionaire

                        Refers to a car belonging to a member of the three comma club with the doors that go up and down instead of side to side.

                        Russ: Do you wanna know what I have?!
                        Russ: A fu**ing car whose doors open like this.
                        Russ: Not like this like this!

                        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJIAOosI6js

                        Added by svhunt svhunt almost 7 years ago

                          8

                          Noncompete Agreement

                          Any agreement by which:
                          - The employee pretends they won't go work for the competition.
                          - The employer pretends it's enforceable in the State of California.

                          Engineer #1: "They wanted me to sign a noncompete."
                          Engineers: "AHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

                          Added by employeeNumbaOne employeeNumbaOne almost 7 years ago

                            6

                            MVP

                            The "minimum viable product" is exactly like the product you had in mind, except with fewer features and more bugs.

                            Founder: "We're going to validate the market with our MVP."
                            Engineer: "Sweet!"

                            Added by employeeNumbaOne employeeNumbaOne almost 7 years ago

                            5

                            Enterprise

                            Adj. -- a synonym for "takes longer, but for way more money"

                            Sales: "The enterprise sales cycle takes months, but we're talking about whales here."
                            Engineer: "The enterprise module is going to be a huge effort, but if you're sure it'll be worth it..."

                            Manager: "All right, we've IPO'd now. It's time to adhere to enterprise process standards."
                            Sales & Engineering: "Does that mean we get raises?"

                            Added by employeeNumbaOne employeeNumbaOne almost 7 years ago

                              4

                              Liquidity Event

                              Founders start off owning the entire company.
                              Then they convince VCs to buy some of it, and they use that money to pay themselves salaries.
                              Then the VCs convince either retail investors or a megacorporation to buy the company, and that's a liquidity event.

                              This sounds like a pyramid scheme, but trust me, it isn't.

                              Employees can't do anything with their stock options until a liquidity event.

                              Added by employeeNumbaOne employeeNumbaOne almost 7 years ago

                                5

                                Federal

                                See http://svdictionary.com/words/enterprise, but way, way worse.

                                This word magically redirects investor attention elsewhere.

                                Founder: "Our ideal customer is the federal government."
                                VCs: "We are looking for more immediate ROI at this stage. It's been -really- nice talking to you."

                                Added by employeeNumbaOne employeeNumbaOne almost 7 years ago