pygmyknight
pygmyknight (77)

14

Cloud

A catch-all word the rest of the world can use for 90% of this dictionary, while still remaining smug about having used it.
*Works great in movies as well.

Joe: I don't get it...
Bill: It's simple: I put it in the Cloud! Duh.
Joe: Oh, okay. I get it now.

Added by dc2 dc2 about 9 years ago

    6

    MVP

    The "minimum viable product" is exactly like the product you had in mind, except with fewer features and more bugs.

    Founder: "We're going to validate the market with our MVP."
    Engineer: "Sweet!"

    Added by employeeNumbaOne employeeNumbaOne about 9 years ago

    9

    Solving Own Problem

    A bullshit story founders present to lie on how they arrived at their product.

    We built datemycate app because we wanted to solve our own problem to help our cat find a date. He was very horny all the time and was always flirty with my girlfriend.

    Added by beenpoor beenpoor about 9 years ago

      6

      Snapchat

      A mobile app that lets you share intimate pictures with the people you just met at the bar instantly. It also lets you share temporary moments of your life that are not cool enough or sometimes too embarrassing to share on Facebook or Twitter.

      I just add everyone I meet on Snapchat and send them pictures of the cat I found on my street.

      Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie about 9 years ago

        13

        Vaporware

        A piece of nothing. Generally used to describe something that is inexistent. "The snake oil of tech".

        John: he got the investment without a product?
        Andrew: he sold them total vaporware dude, he's not even sure what he's gonna build

        Added by Cloudhamza Cloudhamza about 9 years ago

          5

          Oculus Rift

          A virtual reality helmet with the capability of letting engineers experience a girlfriend or boyfriend without actually having to leave their home to find one. It was purchased by Facebook who immediately saw the device's potential.

          I've been building this awesome simulator that lets you go on a picnic with anime characters on Oculus Rift.

          Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie about 9 years ago

            13

            Social Media

            The first team to be downsized when you run out of funding.

            Our social media manager was let go after she accidentally posted that Reddit thread to Twitter.

            Added by firasd firasd about 9 years ago

              7

              Pivot

              We failed. Now, we're starting over, possibly with something completely different.

              We started out by building a SoLoMo network for hermits. We've now pivoted to becoming the Uber of door-to-door encyclopedia sales.

              Added by ryporter ryporter about 9 years ago

                6

                Tinder Binge

                When a person spends immense amount of time swiping right, in an attempt to get any match available regardless of attraction.

                Ever since I've broken up with Mary, I've been on a Tinder binge trying to find someone...anyone.

                Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie about 9 years ago

                  7

                  This is Uber

                  What a passenger will say to turn down their Uber driver when he attempts to start a conversion or expects a fist bump. This happens because of the high percentage of Uber drivers that also drive for Lyft.

                  Driver: Man the weather is really nice today. Where are you headed?
                  Chris: This is Uber.

                  Added by zazpowered zazpowered about 9 years ago

                    5

                    Cache of Innovation

                    A hyper localized and typically rural subset of engineers who choose to live places other than silicon valley and are exploited by politicians as examples of economic development.

                    Andy: Montana has a cache of innovation ready to explode.
                    Dave: Don't they still work work for bay area companies and just work remotely?
                    Andy: That's not the point. Programmers are the key to renewed economic development.

                    Added by client4 client4 about 9 years ago

                      5

                      Doors of a billionaire

                      Refers to a car belonging to a member of the three comma club with the doors that go up and down instead of side to side.

                      Russ: Do you wanna know what I have?!
                      Russ: A fu**ing car whose doors open like this.
                      Russ: Not like this like this!

                      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJIAOosI6js

                      Added by svhunt svhunt about 9 years ago

                        5

                        Federal

                        See http://svdictionary.com/words/enterprise, but way, way worse.

                        This word magically redirects investor attention elsewhere.

                        Founder: "Our ideal customer is the federal government."
                        VCs: "We are looking for more immediate ROI at this stage. It's been -really- nice talking to you."

                        Added by employeeNumbaOne employeeNumbaOne about 9 years ago

                          6

                          On Demand

                          Another way of saying "for lazy people."

                          Meals on demand. That's right, we're revolutionizing the way you get pizza.

                          Added by employeeNumbaOne employeeNumbaOne about 9 years ago

                            8

                            Code Masochist

                            A person pursuing a CS degree from a university who finds everything way to easy for his own good, so to challenge himself (or herself) he or she purposely does the projects on the last day so they can feel a comparable amount of pressure to the other students who've sometimes had up to a month to finish. (Can also apply to software engineering employees who do their work irrationally close to the deadline).

                            Hai was such a code masochist that he decided to do his upper div cs projects 12 hours before it was due. The professor assigned it 4 weeks ago.

                            Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie about 9 years ago

                              5

                              Asshole Gifting

                              to present a recently purchased item of large value to others; best done while being Russ Hanneman.

                              Dinesh: "So you wanted to show us that you weren't an asshole by showing us the car you just bought for yourself?"

                              Added by whportman whportman about 9 years ago

                                2

                                Whale

                                A term borrowed from the gambling world to refer to higher rollers that drop a lot of cash and make casinos a ton of money. In Silicon Valley, whale refers to high rollers in mobile games. Zynga, Supercell and other mobile gaming companies make most of their money from whales as less than 3% of freemium game players spend any money on in-app purchases.

                                Richard: Lets make our game free so we can attract the most number of downloads and hope that a good percentage of our players convert into whales.

                                Added by zazpowered zazpowered about 9 years ago

                                  14

                                  Thiel Fellow

                                  A student under the age of 20 handpicked by Peter Thiel to drop out of college and start a company.

                                  I dropped out of MIT because Peter Thiel just gave me a $100,000 to realize my dream of creating a social network for dogs.

                                  Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie about 9 years ago

                                    10

                                    Erlich Bachman

                                    A man of the hour. He sold his company Aviato. Now, he runs an incubator out of his house which also happens to be where Pied Piper is headquartered in. He invested in a few other ideas which never came to fruition. He played a critical role in coming up with an innovative and truly disruptive dick jerk algorithm.

                                    In season two, he helps Richard raise a seed round by going around negging a bunch of investors.

                                    There's no need for an example. He is the verb, noun and the everything else that matters in this world.

                                    Just watch this, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l9_PfruyLlU enough said.

                                    Added by svhunt svhunt about 9 years ago

                                      12

                                      IE Troll

                                      A person who purposely uses Internet Explorer in front of others and claims that it is the superior browser on the market, to either mock another person or make it seem like they are completely incompetent.

                                      Jack is an IE troll who gets girls to help him install chrome because he is "so bad" at using computers.

                                      Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie about 9 years ago