pygmyknight (77)
Culture Reset
The CEO's or CTO's reason for firing half of the engineering department.
"Steve, with our new culture reset, we're going to have to let you go. You just didn't fit the culture."
planningtime almost 9 years agoWho's Hiring
A once-a-month opportunity for startups and tech companies get their grimy hands on the website HackerNews and post their job listings. Qualifications often include being a code ninja (http://svdictionary.com/words/code-ninja) or a 10x engineer (http://svdictionary.com/words/10x-engineer) for little pay and long hours because you get equity, yo.
HackerNews: 'Who's hiring?'
Every startup: 'we are and we're the best bc of culture and stuff, yo.'
zander almost 9 years agoAdding Wheels To A Moving Car
Expecting the design or development team to scope a feature without definition or complete explanation while the product is being built.
Them: "How long would it take you to add this feature to the product?"
You: "I'm not sure I understand what the product and feature even is, let alone how to estimate it."
Them: "Well, just give me a ballpark..."
You: "That would be like adding wheels to a moving car."
RobotCowboy almost 9 years agoThe 90:10 Dilemma
When men or women question the workplace environment they're about to accept a position in solely based on the fact that there is an inordinately unbalanced ratio of men to women, which is highly perturbing to the individual.
After being sorrounded by men the entire day, Casey turned down the job at Zynga secretly perturbed by the 90:10 Dilemma.
yungsnuggie almost 9 years agoChurn Rate
Fancy term for the percentage of people that stop using startup's offerings.
Higher the churn rate, the more screwed up your startup will be.
Famously used in Andrew Chen's blog article on dating startups
Investor: So what's the churn rate for your company?
Founder: Well, in the last 3 months, about 80% of users came back to use our service.
Investor: So, about 20%. That's pretty good. But that's 80% out of how many?
Founder: ...
svhunt almost 9 years agoZero Billion
Any amount under 1 billion, rendering you off of Forbes billionaire's list, if you round down.
I'm not a billionaire anymore. I'm a nine-hundred-and-eighty-sixionaire, which isn't even a fucking thing. If you round down, I have zero billion.
mczajka almost 9 years agoJeremy Lin
The perfect child. A Harvard graduate and now a player in the NBA. He is often used in reference by parents (especially in Palo Alto where he went to High School) to "motivate" their child to do better in all aspects of life.
Krishna Lee: Mom, I got into UCLA!
Mom: "WHY YOU NO LIKE JEREMY LIN. HE GO TO HARVARD AND PLAY IN NBA."
yungsnuggie almost 9 years agoLinkedin Recommendation
Something you write in response to a Linkedin recommendation you receive or if you want to receive a new Linkedin recommendation.
Arrel: You know, I could just ask David for a Linkedin recommendation but I found the most efficient way is to just recommend them and wait for the kickback recommendation
zazpowered almost 9 years agoTech Aficionado
A person who is insecure about their superficial knowledge in software, hardware and technology in general, but really wants to fit in. It's a description often used in online social blogging bios.
Hi my name is Homer, I'm a sushi enthusiast, cat owner, and a tech aficionado living in the Bay Area. I do marketing for Uber.
yungsnuggie almost 9 years agoLogo Wingman
When an employee of a hot pre-IPO company purposely wears a lot of corporate swag to attract the opposite sex.
Richard: Yesterday I was talking to this woman at the bar and I purposely tilted my body so she could get a glance at the Uber logo on my sweatshirt. My backpack had Uber on it too. No response. I mean I didn't initiate conversation but I thought that would be enough.
zazpowered almost 9 years agoSilicon Beach
The area around Playa Del Rey/Venice where a fuckload of tech companies are moving in. Synonymous with brogrammers and people that wear startup t-shirts in public.
Brogrammer Intern 1: "These new start-up tanks are clutch! Silicon Beach is the fucking bomb dot com!" Brogrammer Intern 2: "Shakabrah dude let's get SugarFish later then hit up the Bungalow since we're rich and gentrifying LA!" Brogrammer Intern 1: "Tubular brah let me shave my neckbeard first then we can get hyphy for real my friend"
dicknose almost 9 years ago
Microsoft Word
A skill people add to their Linkedin profile that instantly tells you, with 100% accuracy, that they are not tech savvy.
Harold: I have Microsoft Word and Excel listed on my Linkedin profile with approximately 50 endorsements each and I'm not getting any responses to my tech job applications. Did I apply with the wrong email?
zazpowered almost 9 years agoStack Overflow Effect
Refers to how much Stack Overflow has improved developer efficiency around the world. If it didn't exist engineers would be using shitty mailing lists or figuring out things themselves.
Boss: So you're telling me that because Stack Overflow is down you need to take a break? and I hired you because you know how to search a website that anybody in the world can access? Why am I paying you so much?
zazpowered almost 9 years agoOJ
A nickname given to Donald "Jared" Dunn after another employee named "Jared" was supposedly being hired to Pied Piper.
The meaning was initially "Other Jared", as proposed by the gang, to distinguish between Donald "Jared" Dunn and the new employee. Donald "Jared" changed the meaning to "Original Jared" to make the meaning positive for him.
OJ was trapped on an island full of autonomous robots for four days; the way he returned was never mentioned.
AquaticBliss almost 9 years agoNarwhal
Definition #1: A Canadian Unicorn!
Definition #2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykwqXuMPsoc
American Founder - My startup is now officially a Unicorn!
Canadian Founder - My startup is now officially a Narwhal!
European Founder - Um Mr. American entrepreneur, if you may excuse me for a moment... the Unicorn is of European-origin, but if you like your horned mythical beasts so much, you can have the Jackalope!
Russia Founder - North Americans have messed with the Russians for far too long, the Narwhal is ours!
Canadian Founder - Oh sorry about (yes we say "about", not "aboot") that, how about we share?
tosfan4ever almost 9 years agoTo Anthony Weiner
To send a picture of your privates to other Twitter users.
Jack started crying after he anthony weinered by accident and tried to delete it in time. 400 of his followers instantly screed captured it and posted it on StupidEngineers.com
yungsnuggie almost 9 years agoGrad School Scapegoat Purgatory
The situation in which one purposely enrolling into grad school with the intention of delaying the inevitable fate of getting a job or starting a company.
Lewis: I enjoyed my time at UCLA so much that I decided to go to grad school?
Jack: Do you plan on going into resarch?
Lewis: Well no. I just want to chill and be in grad school scapegoat purgatory for awhile.
yungsnuggie almost 9 years agoFamily Layway Weekend
When an entrepreneur spends a weekend with his family mostly because they haven't seen from him or her in weeks. The entrepreneur spends 85% of this time checking his or her phone for updates.
Ken decided to go on a family layaway weekend because his Mom's birthday was coming up. He told him mom happy birthday and sat in the corner the rest of the time checking his phone. His family was just happy to see him.
yungsnuggie almost 9 years agoHipster Designer Fallacy
The mistaken belief that good designers must be hipsters or look like hipsters.
Tim: So there's this really great designer I am interviewing. He has a really nice portfolio and seems like a sharp dude but he doesn't have oversized black rimmed glasses or a scarf. Do you think he will be any good?
Rachel: Hmm. I wouldn't risk it.
zazpowered almost 9 years agoDoes anyone make money around here?
Users of venture backed startups and residents of Silicon Valley ask this question frequently. They do not understand how a lot of social apps such as Snapchat and Facebook (before they started to run ads) are able to raise so much money at sky high valuations without generating revenue.
For on demand services such as Uber, Instacart and Caviar they do not understand how signup credit, promo codes and referral credit can be offered so frequently.
Jim: Let me get this straight. Snapchat is worth $10 billion now and they haven't made any money? Just now I read Uber is offering $100 signup credit, $50 credit for every friend I refer and a one time promo code of $20 off of my first ride. Does anyone make money around here? Tim: You realize Uber has raised $1 billion dollars every month for the past 12 months right?
zazpowered almost 9 years ago
Reminds me of SNL The Californians https://screen.yahoo.com/californians-dress-version-050000580.html