zander
zander (79)

3

SLO Engineer

Engineer that graduated from CalPoly SLO. Good chance of being bro-ey, surprisingly good what they are doing.

Interviewer: So you said you came from SLO..? Cal Poly?
Interviewee: Yeah bro
Interviewer: Bro, I came from there too, you're hired!

Added by mwang mwang over 7 years ago

    54

    Fuck you money

    When you make enough money from a startup or job that you can basically do whatever you want. Usually from equity after a liquidity event.

    Engineering manager: Congrats on the IPO everybody. See you guys on Monday.
    Engineer: I'm not sure about that
    Manager: You think you can do whatever you want now you have that fuck you money?
    Engineer: Sorry sir. I just got a little excited

    Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 7 years ago

    10

    Growth Hacking

    Growth hacking is a buzzword journalists and marketers shamelessly use to describe marketing techniques that uses internet applications in non-traditional ways. It makes the person saying it seem as if they've mastered a skill traditional marketers haven't caught on to. Although this is incredibly important aspect for startups it is pretty much a douchier way of saying marketing.

    Studying various growth hacking techniques, Jimmy decided to email a million people Dogecoins with his companies name at the bottom of the email to increase exposure.

    Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 7 years ago

      29

      Silicon Valley Billionaire

      Silicon Valley Billionaires tend to be younger, poorer dressed and generally less douchey than billionaires from other areas. Some are so poorly dressed that it is often hard to distinguish one from a hobo. In New York, a 23 year old scrawny male with t-shirt and jeans might be told to fuck off at a Lambourhini dealership but the same thing would never happen in Silicon Valley.

      Sales person: Do you think I should even talk to that guy over there. It doesn't look like he can afford a car.
      2nd sales person: That's Mark Zuckerberg

      Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 7 years ago

        15

        Jian Yang

        A character on the Silicon Valley show that represents your stereotypical asian engineer in the Silicon Valley world. Jian Yang is from China and is often misunderstood due to cultural differences and language barriers.

        Jian Yang: Which is for burning?
        Erlich: We don't burn trash in this country. It's illegal.
        Jian Yang: What about garbage?

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YUBpqOdF3i0

        The actor for Jian Yang, Jimmy Yang doing standup: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9_UyvGIeXW0

        Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 7 years ago

          56

          Engineer Unicorn

          An engineer that is competent, good looking, dresses well and is not socially awkward.

          John: How come no other engineers are like David?
          Mary: He's an engineer unicorn. They are rare.

          Added by pygmyknight pygmyknight over 7 years ago

          • torbenberger torbenberger

            The legend says some of them can be found here http://www.engineerunicorns.com

            2
            Reply
            over 7 years ago
          • employeeNumbaOne employeeNumbaOne

            "Unicorn" is a common term for an engineer (usually front-end) who also has good taste in design and is able to contribute to UX early on. But "unicorn" is also used for startups that turn out to be breakout successes, like Uber and Airbnb. Silicon Valley really likes unicorns.

            3
            Reply
            over 7 years ago
          32

          Gamification

          Adding game elements to normally not game related software or processes in order to increase engagement.

          A: User testing has shown that users don't like our accounting app.
          B: We should really be adding some gamification.
          A: Will that make the app more useful?
          B: No, but more fun!

          Added by graup graup over 7 years ago

            17

            Herd Mentality

            When people follow the leader or others like a herd instead of thinking independently. Often seen when investors are deciding which startups to fund.

            VC: You guys have a really strong team, exactly the type that we like to fund, but we just don't believe in the idea.
            Kim: Did I mention that a16z decided to invest in us yesterday.
            VC: Wait. Don't leave. I think we started things off on the wrong foot.

            Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 7 years ago

            33

            Code Ninja

            A euphemism that is used by Bay Area recruiters who don't actually know what in specific they want in a Software Engineer, just someone who can pretty much do everything and anything that's handed to them.

            We're looking to recruit the best Code Ninjas possible for our startup of 4 currently employed non-technical founders. Free pizza will be provided on Wednesdays.

            Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 7 years ago

            • charlesjo charlesjo

              Also used oddly and inappropriately by non-Asians as term of endearment to their Asian-American friends.

              1
              Reply
              over 7 years ago
            6

            Snapchat

            A mobile app that lets you share intimate pictures with the people you just met at the bar instantly. It also lets you share temporary moments of your life that are not cool enough or sometimes too embarrassing to share on Facebook or Twitter.

            I just add everyone I meet on Snapchat and send them pictures of the cat I found on my street.

            Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 7 years ago

              93

              Waterloo

              A mythical University in Canada where many good Engineers and Computer Scientists come from.

              Sam: "Where are all these Canadians from?"
              Matthew: "We hired 10 interns and 20 full-times from Waterloo. They get shit done because if we don't hire them, they'll have to work for Blackberry."

              Added by robert robert over 7 years ago

              • zazpowered zazpowered

                @orien No what are you talking about

                1
                Reply
                over 7 years ago
              • zazpowered zazpowered

                @SingleCommaClub It's similar to what you see from immigrants to a new country like US or Canada

                1
                Reply
                over 7 years ago
              • zazpowered zazpowered

                I have a lot of friends from canada and waterloo and this seems really accurate from what i've heard

                1
                Reply
                over 7 years ago
              • charlesjo charlesjo

                It's like a parallel universe of Silicon Valley where people speak American English...

                3
                Reply
                over 7 years ago
              • orien orien

                @zazpowered aren't you from waterloo

                2
                Reply
                over 7 years ago
              • freefunctor freefunctor

                @SingleCommaClub That's not true at all. Pretty much everyone I know from my graduating class got offers from US companies. A significant proportion of students choose to stay because the region is booming right now, and also the quality of life in Canada is pretty high.

                2
                Reply
                over 7 years ago
              • zazpowered zazpowered

                @freefunctor toronto and canada are awesome

                2
                Reply
                over 7 years ago
              • SingleCommaClub SingleCommaClub

                Have worked with a lot of engineers from Waterloo through internships and full time. Can honestly say they are very talented, but there is a bias because all the ones that make it to US companies are generally top notch.

                2
                Reply
                over 7 years ago
              • Devilinlimbo Devilinlimbo

                I love this site!

                6
                Reply
                about 6 years ago
              52

              Early Employee

              A founder who will take 1% of the company instead of 25%. This is a polite way of saying "sucker."

              CEO: "We couldn't have done it without a few great early employees."

              Added by employeeNumbaOne employeeNumbaOne over 7 years ago

              • SingleCommaClub SingleCommaClub

                I still wouldn't minded having been an early employee at Facebook or Uber.

                4
                Reply
                over 7 years ago
              • employeeNumbaOne employeeNumbaOne

                @silconobserver Zach Holman.

                1
                Reply
                over 6 years ago
              • silconobserver silconobserver

                This is total and utter bullshit. The founder risks his entire savings, family/friend relationships and pours his life into his startup. When things finally begin to work he goes out and hires the first few employees. In return the "early employees" get paid market rate or slightly below market rate and get equity and the founder gets painted as a greedy bastard? Who is the real sucker here

                3
                Reply
                almost 7 years ago
              15

              Uber Driver Engineer

              A label that describes a lot of Uber drivers. When you talk to one they will tell you they are trying to learn how to code, build an app and start a company. Uber is only now, startup is future. The passenger will encourage the driver but deep down inside they don't think its happening.

              Because of the success of Uber there has been an influx of Uber Driver Engineers trying to start their own companies.

              Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 7 years ago

                59

                Non-technical Cofounder

                A Wharton MBA who will overestimate the value of his idea and underestimate the value of the person who will implement it. Often wonders why his technical cofounders leave him and the apps they build look like shit and get hacked all the time.

                Non-technical Cofounder: Why do all these technical cofounders leave me? Did they not see the MBA from Wharton in my email? I'm telling you right now, I know how to write a business plan. I even offered the last guy 10% of my company.

                Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 7 years ago

                19

                Making the world a better place

                Solving a very specific problem that loosely translates into a social benefit.

                We are making the world a better place through P2P iBeacon messaging platforms.

                Added by dennis dennis over 7 years ago

                • charlesjo charlesjo

                  Look at how much time sink we've created for evil people... with Reddit.

                  1
                  Reply
                  over 7 years ago
                12

                IE Troll

                A person who purposely uses Internet Explorer in front of others and claims that it is the superior browser on the market, to either mock another person or make it seem like they are completely incompetent.

                Jack is an IE troll who gets girls to help him install chrome because he is "so bad" at using computers.

                Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 7 years ago

                  5

                  Hacker News Hack

                  A person who spends his time commenting on Hacker News product posts all day criticizing everything he sees, but is just barely aware that they can't make something original of his or her own.

                  During his breaks, Jack becomes a hacker news hack who browses hacker news all day and criticizes everything he reads.

                  Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 7 years ago

                    40

                    Bus Factor

                    The number of people that need to be hit by a bus before their project is dead.

                    "Our engineers work in teams of 10 for the higher bus factor"

                    Added by asdf asdf over 7 years ago

                    • employeeNumbaOne employeeNumbaOne

                      It is well known that engineers make a "SPOF" sound when hit by a bus.

                      2
                      Reply
                      over 6 years ago
                    21

                    Dave Ratio

                    It's very difficult to achieve gender parity at a startup, given the toxic culture. The next best metric, is to compare the number of men named dave, to the number of women. Reference

                    Alex: It's hard finding a company that has a reasonable number of women.
                    Kourtney: Have you tried working at a company with a 10:1 dave ratio?

                    Added by oakland_mike oakland_mike over 7 years ago

                      10

                      I Could've Built That Fallacy

                      The fallacy in which someone believes that they were capable of building something before an already more popular version of a product has come out.

                      In many instances this fallacy is contained by engineers working at companies or in academia in an indirect attempt to belittle the success of founders, claiming how trivial it is to build said app. It can also be a feeble attempt to make up for their unrealized internal inferiority complex. In reality they might have been able to code it, but not conceive it's details, key features, and brand identity.

                      George suffered from the I could've built that fallacy for weeks after Snapchat received an offer from Facebook for over a billion dollars in talked about acquisition. He built his own version while working at Google, but it only had 5 users. He was happy he didn't quit his day job.

                      Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 7 years ago