zander
zander (78)

3

SLO Engineer

Engineer that graduated from CalPoly SLO. Good chance of being bro-ey, surprisingly good what they are doing.

Interviewer: So you said you came from SLO..? Cal Poly?
Interviewee: Yeah bro
Interviewer: Bro, I came from there too, you're hired!

Added by mwang mwang over 4 years ago

54

Fuck you money

When you make enough money from a startup or job that you can basically do whatever you want. Usually from equity after a liquidity event.

Engineering manager: Congrats on the IPO everybody. See you guys on Monday.
Engineer: I'm not sure about that
Manager: You think you can do whatever you want now you have that fuck you money?
Engineer: Sorry sir. I just got a little excited

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 4 years ago

10

Growth Hacking

Growth hacking is a buzzword journalists and marketers shamelessly use to describe marketing techniques that uses internet applications in non-traditional ways. It makes the person saying it seem as if they've mastered a skill traditional marketers haven't caught on to. Although this is incredibly important aspect for startups it is pretty much a douchier way of saying marketing.

Studying various growth hacking techniques, Jimmy decided to email a million people Dogecoins with his companies name at the bottom of the email to increase exposure.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 4 years ago

28

Silicon Valley Billionaire

Silicon Valley Billionaires tend to be younger, poorer dressed and generally less douchey than billionaires from other areas. Some are so poorly dressed that it is often hard to distinguish one from a hobo. In New York, a 23 year old scrawny male with t-shirt and jeans might be told to fuck off at a Lambourhini dealership but the same thing would never happen in Silicon Valley.

Sales person: Do you think I should even talk to that guy over there. It doesn't look like he can afford a car.
2nd sales person: That's Mark Zuckerberg

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 4 years ago

15

Jian Yang

A character on the Silicon Valley show that represents your stereotypical asian engineer in the Silicon Valley world. Jian Yang is from China and is often misunderstood due to cultural differences and language barriers.

Jian Yang: Which is for burning?
Erlich: We don't burn trash in this country. It's illegal.
Jian Yang: What about garbage?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YUBpqOdF3i0

The actor for Jian Yang, Jimmy Yang doing standup: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9_UyvGIeXW0

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 4 years ago

55

Engineer Unicorn

An engineer that is competent, good looking, dresses well and is not socially awkward.

John: How come no other engineers are like David?
Mary: He's an engineer unicorn. They are rare.

Added by pygmyknight pygmyknight over 4 years ago

32

Gamification

Adding game elements to normally not game related software or processes in order to increase engagement.

A: User testing has shown that users don't like our accounting app.
B: We should really be adding some gamification.
A: Will that make the app more useful?
B: No, but more fun!

Added by graup graup over 4 years ago

17

Herd Mentality

When people follow the leader or others like a herd instead of thinking independently. Often seen when investors are deciding which startups to fund.

VC: You guys have a really strong team, exactly the type that we like to fund, but we just don't believe in the idea.
Kim: Did I mention that a16z decided to invest in us yesterday.
VC: Wait. Don't leave. I think we started things off on the wrong foot.

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 4 years ago

33

Code Ninja

A euphemism that is used by Bay Area recruiters who don't actually know what in specific they want in a Software Engineer, just someone who can pretty much do everything and anything that's handed to them.

We're looking to recruit the best Code Ninjas possible for our startup of 4 currently employed non-technical founders. Free pizza will be provided on Wednesdays.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 4 years ago

6

Snapchat

A mobile app that lets you share intimate pictures with the people you just met at the bar instantly. It also lets you share temporary moments of your life that are not cool enough or sometimes too embarrassing to share on Facebook or Twitter.

I just add everyone I meet on Snapchat and send them pictures of the cat I found on my street.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 4 years ago

89

Waterloo

A mythical University in Canada where many good Engineers and Computer Scientists come from.

Sam: "Where are all these Canadians from?"
Matthew: "We hired 10 interns and 20 full-times from Waterloo. They get shit done because if we don't hire them, they'll have to work for Blackberry."

Added by robert robert over 4 years ago

52

Early Employee

A founder who will take 1% of the company instead of 25%. This is a polite way of saying "sucker."

CEO: "We couldn't have done it without a few great early employees."

Added by employeeNumbaOne employeeNumbaOne over 4 years ago

15

Uber Driver Engineer

A label that describes a lot of Uber drivers. When you talk to one they will tell you they are trying to learn how to code, build an app and start a company. Uber is only now, startup is future. The passenger will encourage the driver but deep down inside they don't think its happening.

Because of the success of Uber there has been an influx of Uber Driver Engineers trying to start their own companies.

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 4 years ago

59

Non-technical Cofounder

A Wharton MBA who will overestimate the value of his idea and underestimate the value of the person who will implement it. Often wonders why his technical cofounders leave him and the apps they build look like shit and get hacked all the time.

Non-technical Cofounder: Why do all these technical cofounders leave me? Did they not see the MBA from Wharton in my email? I'm telling you right now, I know how to write a business plan. I even offered the last guy 10% of my company.

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 4 years ago