zazpowered (900)
House Lannister
Also known as Apple Inc. They hold a powerful grasp on the Iron Throne of Silicon Valley for being one of the most profitable companies in the Valley. Just like the Lanisters, Apple always repays it's debts whether it's paying their investors back or revenge in the form of their army of patent trolling lawyers.
Steve: After I graduate, I'm going to work for House Lanister. James: Careful boy, rumors say that there's an army of Dragons coming
GoogleEngineer about 9 years agoProblem Observer
A shitier version of a problem solver. A problem observer is a person who points out obstacles (even if they are incredibly obvious) offers no solution, and feels really good about themselves. They tend to end up working at a big company for the rest of their lives.
Mark was a problem solver that started facebook and dropped out of Harvard. Roy was a problem observer that has a PhD from Stanford and works at Yahoo.
yungsnuggie over 8 years agoBackseat Investor
An investor who will never tell you no, but will wait for a lead investor to commit so he can take a backseat and ride the return train. They always tell you to keep them informed with your project without ever providing active help.
I thought Cody would be a generous investor after his company got acquired, but instead he's just another backseat investor waiting for a bigger fish to bite.
yungsnuggie over 9 years agoCode Ninja
A euphemism that is used by Bay Area recruiters who don't actually know what in specific they want in a Software Engineer, just someone who can pretty much do everything and anything that's handed to them.
We're looking to recruit the best Code Ninjas possible for our startup of 4 currently employed non-technical founders. Free pizza will be provided on Wednesdays.
yungsnuggie over 9 years ago
Jack Effect
The effect Jack Dorsey's induction as CEO of Twitter has had on founders who now operate more than one startup.
The Jack Effect has caused most entrepreneurs at Stanford to operate more than one company at once.
yungsnuggie about 9 years agoSellsword Engineer
An engineer with almost no personal startup ambition who sells his talents to the highest bidder. They are often silent unless spoken too and in many instances perceived as judging you without even hearing them speak a word. If your a startup founder, you must be ready to spend some serious coin to recruit one these guys and girls.
Even though he'd worked at Twitter for years building out many of their core products, he had no hesitation switching to Google X, when they offered him 10k more a year.
GoogleEngineer about 9 years agoSkywalker Soreness
When your right hand is in such extreme pain from coding or typing that it feels as if it's been cut off by a laser sword.
I waited until the end of the deadline to finish my part of the project and now I have skywalker soreness. I can't do anything with my right hand.
yungsnuggie almost 9 years agoLOL
Corporate Storyteller
This is an actual job title given to people in Silicon Valley whose job it is to humanize the narrative of a company. The companies that have a position like this are so soulless and out of touch with regular people that they need to keep someone on their payroll to do this for them.
Jane became a corporate storyteller at Salesforce after the company realized they were too out of touch with everyday people.
yungsnuggie about 9 years agoWantrepreneur
Someone who wants to start a company so he or she can garner social proof from it all, instead of someone who has an innovative idea that could possibly make money.
Although alot of the Wharton MBA's are quite intelligent, many of them are wantrepreneurs who just want to tell girls that they are the CEOs of companies.
covfefelord over 9 years agoAlso popularized by Mark Cuban on Shark Tank.
They Took Our Jobs
A popular double entendre referencing a redneck slogan of immigrant labor replacing US jobs and the passing of Steve Jobs.
Zeeshan: I hate the IPhone 6. Matt: They took our Jobs...
yungsnuggie over 8 years agoRecruiter
A non-technical sales person who acts as a professional middle man/woman that does everything they can to get between tech talent and the company they want to work for, in order to arbitrage the deal-flow around the economics of a code ninja actually working for a company. Their job is to get in the way and stop tech talent from working for the companies they want to work for unless they the recruiter can get paid for the work the tech talent does as well. They will only introduce you to the companies they can make money from and are not known to care about "fit" or your own happiness outside of them getting paid, but because they get paid so much for providing so little value they will smile and lie to your face and tell you otherwise.. Also known as a cancer to most startups and companies.
Adam: The recruiter lied again. I'm still not getting paid on time or in the right amounts. And its not a full time gig like I was told, its a contract with no possibility of conversation or extension.
Steve: Dude, that's what recruiters do. Never trust a recruiter, they are a cancer.
honestduane over 9 years agoConvertible Note
A note used for the most well-known method of raising venture capital in Silicon Valley; raising convertible debt. This is when the investor buys shares priced at a later round of a companies VC raising.
Raising capital for alot of companies is a long term process. Basically convertible debt just makes it so that a VC gets more bang for his buck because he invested earlier. Each round the shares get more expensive, but you don't know how much of a discount one will get until each subsequent round. Value is pretty relative in this way.
If this sounds like economic black magic, it's because it kind of is. There are very few industries in the world in which people raise finances this way. When one understands how convertible debt works, TechCrunch headlines also sound less impressive and one begins to wonder if values are purposely inflated or deflated to fit different situations.
NOTE: It's technically regarded as "debt," which is why many entrepreneurs are pushing for the use of essentially the same thing called a SAFE (which doesn't use the word debt in it's language).
Steven Pham raised 200k on a convertible note to pursue his idea of mass producing solar powered dildo dispensers which send live tweets on the buyers identity upon sale.
yungsnuggie about 9 years ago
Rockstar CEO
A title people give to above average CEOs to give attention to the fact that they and their company exist, usually in an attempt to increase their social value.
ex1: I just met Nancy, a rockstar CEO, whose company is building solar powered televisions priced at 10,000$ for people in developing countries. ex2: I've never heard Mark Zuckerberg, Bill Gates, or Evan Spiegel referred to as Rockstar CEOs. You know why? Because nobody has to say something so corny to shed light on the fact that they are incredibly good at what they do.
yungsnuggie about 9 years agoChristmas Party +1 Crashing
Crashing the extremely low security, high budget christmas parties tech companies throw as a lonely tech employees +1 and meeting people in sometimes their most inebriated state of the year.
I made friends with the C level staff of three companies this year's round of Christmas Party +1 Crashing. I didn't do with the intention of networking to be honest, I just enjoy Christmas parties with my friends..
yungsnuggie almost 9 years agoThe Imitation Iteration
The part of one's product iteration where they decide to imitate aspects of an app that a wide base of users are familiar with out of fear that their innovative new product is way ahead of it's time.
Before Jean's company closed they spend a month stuck on an imitation iteration where they copied nearly every feature of Snapchat until it became a shitty clone of the product.
yungsnuggie about 9 years agoMetadata
In most instances, metadata is referred to as information that helps you identity what shit is among users exchanging data, without actually seeing it's inward contents. It's like a sealed, labeled envelope of sorts.
The NSA can see the metadata of every call and text you make, although they claim they don't actually read what it contains. They can see the fact that you sent a text to your girlfriend, but they claim they don't actually read it unless they have permission by their higher ups.
yungsnuggie about 9 years agoHacker News
A forum for engineers and entrepreneurs to echo their commonly held beliefs amongst one another.
Every morning when I wake up, I spend about 2 hours a day commenting on how shitty new products are and how we're NOT in a bubble.
yungsnuggie about 9 years agoEquity Leaching Nests
Office spaces that require you to give up percent ownership of your company (or warrants to purchase parts of your company up to 10 years) in exchange for month to month office space.
The Ratchetry is an equity leaching nest that wants our company to sign up. Although I like the investor team that backs it, I'm pretty indifferent about the program itself.
yungsnuggie over 8 years agolol
Microdabbing
A popular practice where people microdose on drugs (primarily LSD) for recreation.
After working at Facebook the entire day, Jim goes home and starts microdabbing.
yungsnuggie over 8 years ago
Also used oddly and inappropriately by non-Asians as term of endearment to their Asian-American friends.