5

Girlfriend

For a handful of heterosexual men, this term is referred to as one's laptop because they rarely want others touching it and it's the only warm thing that touches them below the waste for long periods of time.

Meek: Have you seen my girlfriend?

Drake: Nikkis in Paris for a show.

Meek: Nah I mean my MacBook Air. I wanna tweet a new diss at you. I probably won't see Nikki for awhile.

Drake: It's next to Wayne's bed.

Meek: I'm gonna curl up with my girlfriend and watch some Game of Thrones.

Added by covfefelord covfefelord over 5 years ago

5

GSD

Acronym for Get Stuff Done. Prior to this term, nothing was getting done.

OH: I admire people who focus and GSD.

Added by charlesjo charlesjo over 5 years ago

    4

    Genius

    Someone who works at an Apple Genius Bar to fix and teach you how to use your Macbooks and iPhones

    Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 5 years ago

    5

    Scalable

    A term used by startups that aren't profitable, but say they are this to sound potentially profitable.

    Investor: Is your startup profitable? What's the revenue since launch?

    Founder: We're not profitable, but we're scalable. We plan to scale up and then focus on revenue streams.

    Added by Original Jared Original Jared over 5 years ago

      5

      IFTTT

      The mothership of all APIs. An app that lets you connect apps with other apps.

      I used IFTTT to tweet when I get a weather notification.

      Added by Original Jared Original Jared over 5 years ago

        4

        @alphabet

        A dad and self-proclaimed geek that lives in Cleveland, OH. Owns the @alphabet Twitter handle. Will soon become rich.

        Guy 1: This guy's just a geeky dad on Twitter.

        Guy 2: No, he's @alphabet and will earn more money in one day than you've earned in an entire year.

        Added by Original Jared Original Jared over 5 years ago

        • bphesq bphesq

          He's also a fan of the Cleveland Browns. Dads in Pittsburgh are geeks.

          1
          Reply
          over 5 years ago
        4

        alphabet

        The parent company of Google along with a handful of other companies. You can think of Alphabet as a mega company who owns a ton of shit.

        My friends have been making fun of me ever since Google changed its name. Being an Alphabet employee sorta sounds embarrassing for some reason.

        Added by GoogleEngineer GoogleEngineer over 5 years ago

          4

          Aggregate

          To list material from different websites over the Internet in one place.

          There are hubdreds of news agregators on the Internet.

          Added by GoogleEngineer GoogleEngineer over 5 years ago

            3

            Code Gay

            When a developer is attracted to another developer's code. Made popular by Silicon Valley

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_7bkbv4u1tc

            Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 5 years ago

              4

              PaaS

              Platform as a Service. Provides a platform for developers to deploy and manage web applications without them having to worry about the underlying infrastructure.

              Heroku is a popular PaaS

              Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 5 years ago

              • charlesjo charlesjo

                Paas could be the Easter egg coloring Platform as a Service.

                1
                Reply
                over 5 years ago
              • passionate passionate

                it should be > Platform as a Service. Provides a platform for developers to deploy and manage web applications without them having to worry about the underlying infrastructure, but the platform.

                3
                Reply
                over 5 years ago
              3

              MAU

              Monthly active users. Number of unique users of an app during a month or 30 day period

              Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 5 years ago

                6

                Uber Funded

                When your startup is funded from the side cash made off of Uber driving.

                Zayne: Have you guys raised a round of funding?

                Pan: We are in fact, Uber funded.

                Zayne: Right...congrats?

                Added by HalfLife3 HalfLife3 over 5 years ago

                  5

                  Lava Pressure

                  Intentionally making your life worse every time your startup doesn't pass a milestone.

                  Reynolds keeps putting lava pressure on his team by smashing a monitor everytime their company doesn't gain 10% more users in a given month.

                  Added by HalfLife3 HalfLife3 over 5 years ago

                    5

                    Startup Lifestylers

                    People who get into the startup scene just for the "rock star" lifestyle.

                    Jaime spends all his funding throwing parities and buying company swag. He's just a startup lifestyler.

                    Added by HalfLife3 HalfLife3 over 5 years ago

                      4

                      Tupac Startup

                      An incredibly promising new company that unexpectedly dies at it's prime.

                      I heard the founders fucking hated each other. So even though their company was doing pretty well they became a tupac startup.

                      Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 5 years ago

                      4

                      Milestone

                      Common term used to communicate between founders and investors the goals they intend on passing. Milestones are sometimes used in determination for future funding worth.

                      Draymond's company passed all it's milestones so the investors were happy to write him a check for the next round.

                      Added by HalfLife3 HalfLife3 over 5 years ago

                        5

                        Silicon Prarie

                        A coin termed in the late 90s to reference the tech booms impact on the telecom industry found in Chicago's Western Suburbs. This disappeared after the first tech bubble burst.

                        Recently this term has been repurposed to describe the new tech startup scene coupled with suburban tech companies moving to Chicago's downtown in the 2010's.

                        Rahm: California has Silicon Valley, here in Chicago we are building the Silicon Prairie.

                        Added by Ismael Ismael over 5 years ago

                          7

                          Escape Velocity

                          Speed at which meaningless buzzwords escape the lips of Pebble-wearing hipster entrepreneurs and Fitbit-wearing overweight VCs, when talking about rapidly growing start ups. Currently clocked at an average of 240 wpm.

                          VC: How do you plan to achieve your projected engagement numbers?
                          Entrepreneur: We plan to hack together a MVP by leveraging weekly Scrums and neutralize our burn r...
                          VC: I think you just achieved escape velocity.

                          Added by That_Guy That_Guy over 5 years ago

                            4

                            Cat Person Stereotype

                            The stereotype that engineers in Silicon Valley when given a choice would prefer ownership of a cat rather than a dog.

                            Ryan: I got you a cat for your birthday.

                            Bob: Fuck you I like Corgis.

                            Added by HalfLife3 HalfLife3 over 5 years ago

                              5

                              Zynga

                              A word used to describe the flashing and annoying ads which consume the lower 1/3 of your phone's screen.

                              Bro #1: Taking my phone to the shop, there's this weird Zynga on my screen that refuses to go away.
                              Bro #2: Ha, I had to throw mine in the trash to get rid of it.

                              Added by That_Guy That_Guy over 5 years ago