3

Accelerator

A term given to startup incubators that promise new startups connections, advice, and office space in exchange for percentage ownership of a company.

Ron: We're already getting 150,000 users a day

Wes: Why do people even use accelerators anyway? They're glorified cheerleaders.

Added by GoogleEngineer GoogleEngineer over 5 years ago

    3

    Acquire

    To purchase a companies assets and brand.

    Snapchat's founders refused to get acquired by Facebook because their families were already filthy rich and he knew they could weather it out and make it's value even higher.

    Added by GoogleEngineer GoogleEngineer over 5 years ago

    6

    Linkedin

    A publicly-traded spam-bot and click-bait machine. It will steal your contacts info and transmit spam to you and your contacts in perpetuity. The 'Unsubscribe' link in the email is only a placeholder. LinkedIn engineers deliberately did not code any action into the link click, because Fuck You!
    Compelled by the torrent of spam, you will login to the web interface/app and have your news feed bombarded with Grade A click-bait from famous internet trolls such as Business Insider.

    I recently signed up on LinkedIn and now my 100GB inbox is #reckt.

    Added by That_Guy That_Guy over 5 years ago

    • blwinters blwinters

      Best thing I've read on SVD.

      1
      Reply
      over 5 years ago
    • charlesjo charlesjo

      Whoever wrote this definition, please endorse me.

      1
      Reply
      over 5 years ago
    5

    Oracle

    Software with the fugliest UI of all time.

    Matt: Want to give my roomie a a real scare this Halloween, any ideas?
    Dom: Just change his desktop wallpaper to a screenshot from an Oracle system, brah!

    Added by That_Guy That_Guy over 5 years ago

      4

      Connector

      BS filler that folks use in their Linkedin headline (and/or business cards) when they really don't have anything important to say about themselves. A Connector in SV is the equivalent of a Hollywood socialite.

      Josh, to himself: Aaannnd there...I just set my LinkedIn headline to Entrepreneur | Connector| Networker | Twerker. Now I am gonna sit back and watch the job offers roll in.

      Added by That_Guy That_Guy over 5 years ago

      5

      Free OS Neutrality

      The stance that you honestly just don't give a fuck about which Operating System is better. Just that it comes on a computer you don't have to pay for as an employee computer.

      I was a Linux and Windows advocate all my life until Google gave me Macbook Retina. Now I abide by Free OS Neutrality.

      Added by GoogleEngineer GoogleEngineer over 5 years ago

        5

        #ILookLikeAnEngineer

        A popular hashtag meant to showcase Silicon Valley's diversity beyond the stereotype.

        #ILookLikeAnEngineer has been really effective at breaking the stereotype about engineers. It's making the world a better place as a result.

        Added by GoogleEngineer GoogleEngineer over 5 years ago

          3

          Y Combinator Fellowship

          A lighter weight YC program that grants $12,000 with no equity taken. The program last for 8 weeks and is part of YC's goal to help a greater number of startups.

          Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 5 years ago

          4

          The Control Alt Delete Solution

          The go to action one conducts when they have no idea how to fix something. The control-alt-delete combination is a Windows command that summons a Task Manager to help shut down any program that's bugging out.

          Added by GoogleEngineer GoogleEngineer over 5 years ago

            2

            Unapologetically Plastic

            Almost every tech billionaire in Silicon Valley.

            Jony Ive, Travis Kalanick, Evan Spiegel, Eric Schmidt et al.

            Added by That_Guy That_Guy over 5 years ago

              3

              Media Headliners

              Products big companies keep in the Research and Development area of their company and display at an event for the pure purpose of garnering media attention. The products themselves are either set for release on a date far in the future or never at all.

              Tai: Did you see the Google contact lens in the news?

              Kyrie: Meh, just a media headliner not set to come out for awhile.

              Added by HalfLife3 HalfLife3 over 5 years ago

                3

                Getting Swallowed By A Whale

                When a bigger company builds what a startup was trying to release. The startup is normally in over it's ahead if the feature is very similar due to the companies resources, money, and development team advantage.

                Ron: I heard Jack's startup was trying to annotate the internet.

                Julia: They got swallowed by a whale. Genius.com got funded and did it before they could.

                Added by HalfLife3 HalfLife3 over 5 years ago

                  2

                  Product/market fit

                  Conversation starter.

                  Added by charlesjo charlesjo over 5 years ago

                    5

                    Hipsterpreneur

                    A person that sits frequently in hi-design coffee bistros, that claims to be changing the world with his big eco-friendly & non-scalable idea.

                    While in reality this harmless, cobweb-bearded, latte-sipping, fixie-cycling creature camps out days on end, in mood-light-coffee-bistros leeching on free wifi and lemon water without having a remote clue of what it actually takes to hustle and hack his way to a MVP and beyond.

                    Added by Abologic Abologic over 5 years ago

                    • charlesjo charlesjo

                      Hipsterpreneur: Hashtag MVP. Hashtag unicorn. Friend/Interventionist: Dude, you got biscotti on your beard.

                      2
                      Reply
                      over 5 years ago
                    4

                    Boonies

                    Anywhere outside Uber's or Lyft's discounted ride share areas.

                    Example 1
                    Friend 1: Where do you live?
                    Friend 2: Inner Sunset...the boonies.

                    Example 2
                    Coworker: I just moved to the city and need to look for a place to rent. Where should I look?
                    Coworker 2: You should totally look in SOMA or the mission... you don't want to get stuck in the boonies.

                    Added by canterburry canterburry over 5 years ago

                    4

                    The Incompetence Interview

                    Pretending to be someone who doesn't know shit, in an attempt to see how well someone is at explaining things.

                    Jessica did an incompetence interview on Lando asking her to teach him some basic Ruby on Rails concepts. He didn't know how to even open his terminal.

                    Added by HalfLife3 HalfLife3 over 5 years ago

                      4

                      Caching Out

                      Day dreaming about old memories and fantasies.

                      This can also mean "to get black out drunk."

                      The morning dev meetings are so fucking boring. I always end up caching out thinking about the times in college where I'd ditch class to play basketball.

                      Added by GoogleEngineer GoogleEngineer over 5 years ago

                        3

                        Low Fidelity Prototype

                        Drawing what your app would look like on a bunch of paper and asking people to pretend it's a real app. This saves you the time of making something on your computer...(which ironically would actually take less time for alot of people).

                        My low fidelity prototype flew away when the wind got really strong when I was testing my app for hobos at Golden Gate Park.

                        Added by HalfLife3 HalfLife3 over 5 years ago

                        • RobotCowboy RobotCowboy

                          I would actually call this "Paper Prototype". Low-Fidelity can be digital.

                          1
                          Reply
                          over 5 years ago
                        3

                        Dev Bootcamping

                        Learning to be a dev in a small amount of time normally through a paid educational program

                        Julia went to business school but decided she wanted to learn to be a coder instead. She dev bootcamped for few months and now is kicking ass at a startup.

                        Added by GoogleEngineer GoogleEngineer over 5 years ago

                          5

                          MongoDB

                          It just scale.

                          Engineer 1: "Hey, relational databases sucks!!! We should use MongoDB fo sho"
                          Engineer 2: "Why do you think so?"
                          Engineer 1: "Hey, relational databases sucks!!! We should use MongoDB fo sho"
                          Engineer 2: "I see, but from a technical standpoint why do you think we should use a NoSQL database?"
                          Engineer 1: "Hey, relational databases sucks!!! We should use MongoDB fo sho"
                          Engineer 2: "I... I don't know what to think! How in the world did you graduate from college?"
                          Engineer 1: "Hey, relational databases sucks!!! We should use MongoDB fo sho"
                          Engineer 2: "[email protected]*$#@!!!"

                          Added by freefunctor freefunctor over 5 years ago