3

Adsense

This is a product put out by Google that allows you to make money off the traffic on your website. It's basically one of the easiest ways to "sell out."

Rob: I hate all the targeted Ads your new website Charlie.

Charlie: I love the money I'm getting off Adsense though, so fuck you.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 9 years ago

    3

    Technical Debt

    A silly but effective analogy to explain refactoring to business people.

    Developer: "We need to refactor the legacy auth module, which is a dependency for most of our new modules."
    Business Guy: "... wat."
    Developer: "Some of our early code was debt-financed. That senior debt has preference until we pay it off."
    Business Guy: "Oh, I totally get it now. Why didn't you just say that?"

    Added by employeeNumbaOne employeeNumbaOne over 9 years ago

      4

      Zen

      A common company name prefix and word bastardized by Silicon Valley startups, usually chosen to give new users a false sense of comfort for their soulless product.

      I love using ZenPayRoll And ZenBox. I just feel so at peace when using their product.

      Added by GoogleEngineer GoogleEngineer over 9 years ago

        3

        Code Base Amnesia

        The process of exploring a code base one has architected more than a year ago, wondering why it was built the way it was and marveling at it's incredible structure. They often think to themselves how brilliant they were when constructing it so long ago.

        I had code base amnesia for pretty much every Compilers project I did as a Junior. That shit was so hard, I was such a genius to have gotten it all to work at the time.

        http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/35g0ib

        Added by GoogleEngineer GoogleEngineer over 9 years ago

        • svhunt svhunt

          hahaha happens to me everytime.

          1
          Reply
          over 9 years ago
        4

        Free and open-source software

        Anyone is freely licensed to use, copy, study, and change the software in any way, and the source code is openly shared so that people are encouraged to voluntarily improve it's design.

        Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 9 years ago

          3

          The Auto-Touch Reflex

          The propensity for anyone born after 2000 to touch the screen of any electronic device (thinking it's like an IPad or IPhone)

          I gave my nephew the IPod 1 and it took him 10 minutes to figure out how to move through the songs and navigate it. He had the auto-touch reflex where he kept touching the screen to pick the song, until later he found out the wheel on the bottom was the only way.

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0lvlbRQq1UM

          Added by GoogleEngineer GoogleEngineer over 9 years ago

          4

          Military Artifical Intelligence

          Plain and simple: Weapons that adapt. They aren't robots per se, just weapons that attack and make calculations based on key information.

          Elon Musk and Stephen Hawking are among those calling for a ban on military AI as that they could set off a revolution in weaponry comparable to gunpowder and nuclear arms

          Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 9 years ago

          • svhunt svhunt

            nice representation of valley's current stance on AI

            1
            Reply
            over 9 years ago
          4

          The Social Network Prequel

          A joke that people sometimes make in regards to the creation of a MySpace movie whose founder was a UC Berkeley graduate. (The Social Network was a film on the creation of Facebook at Harvard.)

          Before there was Facebook, we all had one friend and his name was Tom. The Social Network Prequel, coming soon to theaters.

          Added by covfefelord covfefelord over 9 years ago

            3

            The Shit Idea Test

            Going to someone who has a record of creating terrible startups and asking him or her if it's a good idea. If he or she says it's a good idea, it's probably an incredibly shitty one. The inverse is also true.

            I perform the shit idea test on Ryan whenever I need to gauge whether to hack on a new app or not, just so I know what I'm getting into beforehand. Of course he doesn't know I'm performing it on him.

            Added by GoogleEngineer GoogleEngineer over 9 years ago

            • svhunt svhunt

              LOL @GoogleEngineer, I'm assuming by Ryan, you're talking about Ryan hoover?

              1
              Reply
              over 9 years ago
            3

            Snapchat Stealth Marketing

            Pretending to be a celebrity or model, getting alot of followers, and then plugging your website in between stories.

            Julius has 10,000 followers on Snapchat all who think he's a Parisian model. He's just taking pictures snaps of some random model on the internet.. Sometimes he writes his website name on some of the pictures as a Snapchat Stealth Marketing tactic.

            Added by HalfLife3 HalfLife3 over 9 years ago

              3

              Cyberdust

              An ephemeral photo and text sharing app.

              It's mostly known as a Snapchat competitor that Mark Cuban is trying to make cool by tweeting about and making team announcements on for the Dallas Mavericks (which he is the owner of).

              Now that Mark Cuban has retweeted me, I'm going to delete Cyberdust.

              Added by HalfLife3 HalfLife3 over 9 years ago

                3

                Sharktank

                A cringe worthy television show where entrepenurs are handpicked by executive producers and the investors have to act like they don't have any information about the startups who are pitching them.

                James Snow: I watched 2 seasons of Sharktank, I think I'm ready for Silicon Valley.

                Emma Motson: You know nothing James Snow.

                Added by HalfLife3 HalfLife3 over 9 years ago

                  5

                  Ponyfill

                  A safe polyfill which doesn’t modify global objects and, as a polyfill, uses the native implementation if it is available. Coined by Sindre Sorhus, who has made many of them.

                  Bob: And we'll just throw this in as an ES6 polyfill....
                  Jack: No - it's a ponyfill - don't mix them up. See the `unicorn | approved` tag in the README? Yes, ponyfill - not polyfill.

                  Added by dc2 dc2 over 9 years ago

                    3

                    Wearable Baiting

                    Ostentatiously sporting wearable tech with the hope that someone will ask you about it.

                    I can't hang out Ranvid anymore. He still wears his Google Glass and an iWatch on each hand hoping random people would talk to him, just wearable baiting so hard.

                    Added by GoogleEngineer GoogleEngineer over 9 years ago

                      3

                      Domain Squatting

                      Buying and keeping a domain that one will never use, with the hope that one day they will be emailed a high (often over inflated) offer for it for purchase.

                      Ryan: How the hell did Mark buy that giant house? I thought his startup failed?

                      Lewis: He bought a bunch of domains in the 90s and supposedly sold alot of them now. Have you heard of hillaryclinton.com?

                      Ryan: Of course...

                      Lewis: Well it was originally owned by him.

                      Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 9 years ago

                        3

                        The Crunchies

                        A tech award show held in San Francisco where Techcrunch gives trophies to millionaire entrepreneurs and investors in an attempt to mirror an archaic Hollywood practice.

                        Rob: I don't know why they gave us these things. It's like a statue to celebrate how much money we've earned? What did you do with your Crunchie?

                        Martha: I gave it to my housekeeper's child.

                        Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 9 years ago

                        3

                        Slack Zero

                        Refers to when you've gone through all the notifications on slack.

                        Ryan Hoover: Slack zero is the new Inbox zero -> https://twitter.com/rrhoover/status/625870303940362244

                        Added by svhunt svhunt over 9 years ago

                          5

                          Kale

                          Sometimes called "the world's healthiest food." It has become a staple for many Bay Area residents who pride themselves on living a healthy lifestyle.

                          It also has become a stereotypical food group subjected to highly pretentious techies and food snobs who flaunt their supposed physical and mental superiority over people.

                          Jack: Why do you eat so much Kale.

                          Ryan: Because I want everyone to know how healthy I am. Maybe Sabrina will notice me and ask me about my clean code and my clean eating habits.

                          Jack: Or you can go talk to her....

                          Ryan: No, she has to make the first move or else I'll appear to desperate.

                          Jack: But you are desperate...that's why you're eating so much kale.

                          Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 9 years ago

                            4

                            Free Swag Wardrobe

                            Switching between two pairs of pants per month and an assortment of free career fair company tshirts on a daily basis. This cuts costs for the wearer and makes them look like their employed (or on the path to being).

                            Ryan: Why are your shirts all XXL.

                            Laura: Rockin' my free swag wardrobe this month.

                            Ryan: Get it together!

                            Laura: Nah, a Google recruiter approached me when he saw my Twitter shirt. I have second round interview next week.

                            Ryan: Laziness pays off I guess...

                            Added by GoogleEngineer GoogleEngineer over 9 years ago

                              4

                              Code Crushing

                              Naming the variables in your code after the person you have a crush on.

                              Diane: Let me take a look, maybe I can help you debug.

                              Ryan: Wait NO!

                              Diane: Why is my name everywhere in your codebase.

                              Ryan: I've been code crushing ever since you joined the company last week. I'm just too much of a coward to tell you my feelings.

                              Diane: That's pretty obvious. I found you bug though. You left out a parenthesis.

                              Added by HalfLife3 HalfLife3 over 9 years ago