8

Self made entrepreneur

A label meaning that an entrepreneur has come from nothing, has not inherited their wealth or startup. A lot of entrepreneurs have found a loophole because while inheriting a lot of money disqualifies one from being self made, receiving a shit ton of money and connections from your parents while they are alive doesn't.

John: How did you possibly hire 50 people without any VC funding. You told me you were self made?
Lyman: My dad gave me a ton of money and connections. Does that count?

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 5 years ago

    1

    CES

    -standing for Consumer.Electronics.Show; the seemingly infinitely distant convention that Pied Piper will get to by season 5.

    Jared: Even with 5 billion in funding we will only make it till 24 weeks before CES.

    Added by whportman whportman over 5 years ago

      5

      Oculus Rift

      A virtual reality helmet with the capability of letting engineers experience a girlfriend or boyfriend without actually having to leave their home to find one. It was purchased by Facebook who immediately saw the device's potential.

      I've been building this awesome simulator that lets you go on a picnic with anime characters on Oculus Rift.

      Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 5 years ago

        5

        Stealth Gaming Club

        A college or highschool club that claims to be a place for computer science enthusiasts, but really is there to just play video games all day with the equipment they buy with the money they get allocated.

        I've heard rumors that Computer Science Undergrad club at our school is just a stealth gaming club that gathers on the weekdays between class just to play LoL all day.

        Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 5 years ago

          9

          Unicorn

          A startup valued at over $1 billion dollars. Also a mythical horse-like creature with a single horn on its forehead.

          Founder 1: I'm now the proud CEO of a Unicorn after our latest Series D
          Founder 2: Ugh, Unicorns are so 2012. It's all about the Decacorns now.

          Added by ssc242 ssc242 over 5 years ago

            5

            Undeclared Engineering Student

            This person was smart enough to get into the engineering college of a university and yet undecisive enough to not know what he wanted to actually pick.

            My name is Jimmy and I'm an undeclared engineering student trying to decide between, BioE, EECS, MechE, and Civil Engineering.

            Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 5 years ago

              8

              SWOT Analysis

              SWOT is a planning method used to evaluate the strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats of an idea or decision. Jared is ridiculed by the other members of Pied Piper on Silicon Valley for suggesting SWOT because they think it is corporate and a waste of time.

              "I've booby trapped the house with corporate resources"
              https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XfB0g_JDIds

              Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 5 years ago

                4

                Stealth Mode

                A startup that is a phase of secrecy in which they don't reveal what they actually do in an attempt to ward off potential competition.

                Zeeshan What do you do?
                Steve: I'm in a startup.
                Zeeshan: What do you guys do?
                Steve: I can't tell you. We're in stealth mode.
                Zeeshan: That's dumb.

                Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 5 years ago

                  4

                  Microsoft

                  A global corporation that depends for its existence on the inertia of Bob in accounting (see “Excel”.)

                  Our CIO mandated that the entire company use Google Drive instead of Microsoft Office. He is no longer our CIO.

                  Added by firasd firasd over 5 years ago

                    2

                    Net 30

                    I hope this fly-by-night startup pays me before my rent check is due.

                    Founder: "And how fast do I need to pay you?"
                    Freelancer: "Oh, it's Net 30."

                    Freelancer crosses fingers for luck.

                    Added by employeeNumbaOne employeeNumbaOne over 5 years ago

                      4

                      EECS

                      Electrical Engineering and Computer Science.

                      This EECS major I met just codes and plays DOTA all day when he's finished working.

                      Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 5 years ago

                        4

                        Grindr

                        A male to male friend finding app referenced in the first episode of Silicon Valley in which Erlich Bachman claims to have a 10% stake in.

                        Little more about me.
                        I am the founder of Aviato.
                        And I own a very small percentage of Grindr.
                        It's a men to men dating site where you can find other men within 10 miles of you.

                        Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 5 years ago

                          6

                          Get Shit Done

                          A phrase taking to mean "fuck everything you learned in CS class and code like Jack Kerouac until we get the release out"

                          Eric(CTO): Guys its time to "get shit done". Stop writing tests and let's just crank this thing out.

                          Eric (CTO): Drew likes to "get shit done". I wish more of you developers could crank out KLOC's like him.

                          Added by stevebot stevebot over 5 years ago

                            4

                            Swag

                            Clothes and household items given to you by your company to indirectly promote it and create a sense of pride for. To many, it's an unfortunate, but inevitable spending of startup dollars.

                            I got hired Thursday and Grindr just gave me some awesome swag to celebrate my hire. I got a t-shirt, a coffee mug, a sticker, and protein powder.

                            Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 5 years ago

                              2

                              Agile

                              Agile development is a phrase used in software development to describe methodologies for incremental software development.

                              Instead of using PRINCE2 methodology. Lets use Agile development.

                              Added by callum000 callum000 over 5 years ago

                                5

                                Incredible opportunity

                                White lie to claim that an unknown number of users are having sleepless nights dreaming of your idea.

                                This is an incredible opportunity to make a difference in the life horny males by providing them a life sized doll.

                                Added by beenpoor beenpoor over 5 years ago

                                  4

                                  Churn Rate

                                  Refers to the speed at which you can churn butter. Interns are often graded on this criteria. Higher churn rate makes you more legit in the valley.

                                  Intern: do I really have to churn all of this butter?
                                  Boss: yes it is vital for our equitable stability consumer vision internet of things platform.

                                  Added by zander zander over 5 years ago

                                    3

                                    Swaganomics

                                    The condition of an individual or corporation as it regards to the prosperity in direct correlation to free swag earned.

                                    I've studied the Swaganomics of Google, Facebook, and Grindr, and have found that Grindr allocates the greatest net yield of startup swag.

                                    Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 5 years ago

                                      4

                                      Lifestyle Business

                                      A lifestyle business is a business that is set up and run by its founders primarily with the aim of sustaining a particular level of income and no more; or to provide a foundation from which to enjoy a particular lifestyle.

                                      i.e. Not "Crushing It"

                                      Mike: They had so many paying customers that they were able to become a lifestyle business!
                                      Jon: I'm so sorry to hear that.

                                      Added by mike mike over 5 years ago

                                        3

                                        Hockey Stick Growth

                                        We are wildly overoptimistic about our future growth prospects.

                                        Our growth rate may look linear (some would say flat), but that's how most of a hockey stick looks. Once we hit that curve, we'll blow up!

                                        Added by ryporter ryporter over 5 years ago