Code Crushing
Naming the variables in your code after the person you have a crush on.
Diane: Let me take a look, maybe I can help you debug. Ryan: Wait NO! Diane: Why is my name everywhere in your codebase. Ryan: I've been code crushing ever since you joined the company last week. I'm just too much of a coward to tell you my feelings. Diane: That's pretty obvious. I found you bug though. You left out a parenthesis.
HalfLife3 over 9 years agoOvertime Dinner Tradeoff
Normally if an employee stays until 7pm (two extra hours after they are free to go) the office gives them a 15 dollar credit toward dinner. Many employees don't mind staying an extra two hours at their mostly well-funded office to not have to shell out cash for dinner every night. The office wins with two hours of extra labor and the employee wins with not having to worry about dinner.
Many companies use systems like Waiter.com to diversify food choices as well, so everyday the employee gets 15$ of food from a new restaurant.
Jim: I saved a total of 500$ this month on food. Lee: God...the overtime dinner tradeoff is the one of the only things making me consider joining a big company. I'm sick of eating 5 dollar footlongs every day.
HalfLife3 over 9 years agoSee also: "Startup Dinner"
Toronto / University of Toronto
The place that thinks they're the best engineering school in the True North Strong and Free, however is actually inferior especially in terms of entrepreneurship as compared to the University of Waterloo. But at the very least without us, Waterloo can't scale because at the end of the day they're still a small suburban town in the middle of nowhere.
Author of the Word - yes I attend the University of Toronto but even I know that it's worse than Waterloo when it comes to startups, tech, and innovation. Conglaturations you Waterloo engineers!
tosfan4ever over 9 years agoWorking Remotely
Sounds fancy, but its basically when someone is too lazy to go to the office so they do minimal work from home. If they do this often enough they take a picture of their computer at a nice coffee shop or dining table saying how lucky they are to have the job they do to mask their small amount of shame.
Lowe: I got 20 likes on my Facebook picture of me working remotely. Ryan: Your an unfunded startup founder, you ALWAYS work remotely.
HalfLife3 over 9 years agoStartup Marketing Intern
Free labor for early stage startups that normally do data entry and social media related work. They don't normally get paid but want a job for the summer so are willing to do whatever to add to their embarrassingly empty LinkedIn page.
Jack: Holy shit Max! You're company is huge. You already have 9 people here. Paul: Don't be too impressed Jack. 7 of them are unpaid marketing interns.
HalfLife3 over 9 years agoI see this very often
They Are on Fast Track to Unicorn Status
If you have to say it, 9 times out of 10 it isn't true.
One of the hottest UC Berkeley startups, BroMeNow, is looking for an entry level Full Stack Developer. I sit next to these guys at the Skylark incubator and can attest: they are wicked smart and on the fast track to unicorn status.
GoogleEngineer over 9 years agoMalware Engineer
An asshole software engineer who creates malware (programs that attack your computer to display advertisements and unwanted pop ups).
Satish: One of my students was a malware engineer who installed malware on my computer after emailing me his homework. Now whenever I plug my Mac into the projector during lecture, Live Jasmine popups keep showing up. Ryan: Uhh...that's because you have this tab open right here on chrome. Satish: You weren't supposed to see that.
GoogleEngineer over 9 years agoTechie Scum
A term often used when trying to angrily describe software engineers or people who work at software companies.
This term is usually coupled with stereotypes such as wearing a hoodie, consuming kale, drinking Philz or Bluebottle coffee, rimmed glasses, gentrification, etc.
Lewis: My rent is going up by 500$ this year. What in the fuck is happening. Ray: It's because of the horde of techie scum that's moved in this month.
yungsnuggie over 9 years agoStartup Wet Dreaming
A nocturnal emission that occurs at the thought of one's startup being acquired or achieving vast success.
Julie: These sheets....what the hell. Are you cheating on me? Ryan: Sorry babe, I've been startup wet dreaming ever since Tech Stars accepted our team. Love ya.
HalfLife3 over 9 years agoThis may have happened to me before
Teamvesting
When an investor puts money in a startup based on the team and not the idea, product, or traction.
Martha: Wow, I gotta hand it to George, his team actually raised 30k. I thought his idea was terrible. James: Nah, don't be too impressed I heard an angel just teamvested in them because they all graduated from Stanford.
covfefelord over 9 years agoThe 2140 Bitcoin Cap
There is an arbitrary cap of around 21 Million Bitcoins in existence (absolutely no more than this will ever be made). It's calculated that the final Bitcoin will be distributed in 2140.
Because of this people speculate that it's value will spike greatly, when they are no longer mineable or purchasable by traditional means.
I'm going to buy a single Bitcoin and pass it down my family for generations so that the family member that experiences the 2140 Bitcoin Cap will be able to cash out on my small predicted investment.
yungsnuggie over 9 years agoOctocat
The mascot of Github (a revision control service programmers commonly use).
If you see someone with a Octocat tshirt, chances are they are a major nerd.
http://cssnerd.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Screen-Shot-2012-09-04-at-00.02.24-600x428.png
GoogleEngineer over 9 years agoLead Investor
When raising a large round of seed money, the lead investor is your headliner that makes it more convincing for other investors to get on board.
After Ashton Kutcher became our lead investor, every bloodsucking leach in the valley decided to send me emails asking if they could get in on the round.
GoogleEngineer over 9 years agoReddit Alternate Identity
Being a completely different human being on Reddit than who you are in real life to escape reality.
Jim: What did you do this weekend? Bob: I explored my Reddit Alternate Identity, pretending to be a guy with a girlfriend. Jim: Woah, trippy. Wanna play some LoL? Bob: Yup.
covfefelord over 9 years agoUX Designer
Stands for user experience designer.
They are basically there to make sure that the app you're using isn't annoying as shit to use. This differs from UI Designers who work on how the product looks (versus how it feels).
Rob: This is a great app but it FEELS wrong. Engineer: What do you want to change Mr. UX Designer? Rob: Everything.
covfefelord over 9 years agoThe only monetizable field with an Antropology degree.
Lord of the Bings
The guy or girl in your network who exclusively uses Bing to either be a hipster or to look good because they work at Microsoft.
James: Hey can you look up the name of Dan Garcia's new textbook. Rob: Sure I'll Bing it. James: All hail thee, Lord of the Bings.
HalfLife3 over 9 years agoYahoo.
Pickup Hacks
A nerdy term thrown around that denotes strategies to ask women (or men) out.
Winston: Yo Bob got any Pickup hacks? Bob: Yeah. Stop compensating for traits that you think you lack, by putting down every person you meet for their "lack of intelligence." Winston: Fuck, I can't do that. I'm playing DOTA tonight instead.
GoogleEngineer over 9 years ago
Wonder how you thought of this......