Dogecoin
A now mostly defunct crypto currency that has a picture of a Shiba Inu dog as it's logo.
Delivery guy: Hi I have your pizza delivery, that will be 22.45$ Randolph: Fantastic. Do you accept Dogecoin? Delivery guy: Why yes we do. That will be 130,644.70 Doge.
yungsnuggie over 9 years agoAnalytics
Sounds fancy, but it's just a data measuring mechanism that gives you info on customer app visits.
An example would be Mixpanel or Google Analytics which tells you stuff like how many people are going and staying on your site, how many people are making accounts, etc.
Lauren: Our user base is growing exponentially. Jack: WOAH HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT. Lauren: This fancy graph in the analytics shows us, my friend. Jack: Math is power! Lauren: Uh...yeah. I guess.
yungsnuggie over 9 years agoEast Bay Startups
Despite mainstream view, they indeed exist are are growing more and more prevalent. With the absurd prices in San Francisco and Palo Alto, areas in Downtown Oakland, Emeryville, and pockets of Berkeley have seen increased growth in new company offices.
Many also consider living in the East Bay incredibly convenient, despite it's reputation for crime. It is often asked whether east bay startups should be considered apart of "Silicon Valley," to which many reply..."meh close enough."
Winston: Where is your startup office located good sir. James: Oakland son. Winston: I am not familiar with this Oak-Land. How far is it from Sand Hill Road?
yungsnuggie over 9 years agoMicrosoft
A company built around the fact that Bob from accounting exists.
Hacker 1: Are you going to Microsoft's big data hackathon?
Hacker 2: No, winning prizes are only for those who analyse csv dumps in Microsoft Excel.
Mrandrewandrade over 9 years agoGotta Catch Em' All Investing
When an investor aims to diversify his or her portfolio by investing in one company in every popular area of technology.
"Gotta Catch Em' All" is phrase from the game series Pokemon, where players are encouraged to catch every type of Pokemon (translated to Pocket Monsters).
Jack: Why is Max investing in a Bitcoin distribution company. That's so unlike him. Annie: He''s trying to move toward a Gotta Catch Em All style portfolio to diversify. Jack: Why..
yungsnuggie over 9 years agoGoogle Fanboy
Someone who exclusively buys Google products and defends the company even in the most morally questionable circumstances.
Jack: Talking to Lewis really made me feel like my iPhone 6 was a bad purchase. I also am hesitant about buying a Macbook Pro. Jane: Don't listen to that guy, he's a Google fanboy who thinks Apple products are chrome instruments invented by the devil.
GoogleEngineer over 9 years agoMoving you to Bcc
Translates to "Thank you."
Charles: Terrence, JD is an angel investor in Silicon Valley. Really into diversity in startups and knows his stuff. Terrence: Charles, moving you to Bcc.
charlesjo over 9 years agoWho's JD
JD Carluccio (Twitter @jdcarlu). Is this the real Pmarca?
@charlesjo so you know for the future. @mention will email the user if it is the beginning of a comment
@zazpowered thanks. @pmarca JD Carluccio (Twitter @jdcarlu). Is this the real Pmarca?
@pmarca JD Carluccio (Twitter @jdcarlu). Is this the real Pmarca?
@Pmarca lol I need to fix it so its not case sensitive
normally you would just click on reply though
@zazpowered too funny.
Postmates Trifecta
When you use Postmates for breakfast, lunch and dinner on the same day
I love innovation in Silicon Valley. I just completed a Postmates trifecta which allowed me to stay at home and play Counter Strike all day.
zazpowered over 9 years agoRoko's Basilisk
Super AI of future which will torture the avatars of those who did not help its existence.
And this ultimate Kickstarter campaign https://twitter.com/charlesjo/status/579736882960986113 ht @webhat
The ultimate @kickstarter campaign! Donate to Singularity or else face consequences :)
@psygnisfive
charlesjo over 9 years agoCode Couple
Programming partners (in work or school) that are also involved with one another romantically.
Jeremy and Liz are the hottest code couple at Stanford. I hear after finishing their compilers projects they hold hands and read quantum computing books until both their bodies are exhausted.
yungsnuggie over 9 years agoGlassdoor
Most commonly used for finding the mean salary of a company.
It's the website people visit when realizing that despite what they said during their interview about having passion for the product, it was always about the money.
Jack: I don't know whether to work at Stripe or Facebook. Jill: You should follow your heart. Do what you have the most passion for. Jack: Sorry I didn't hear you. I'm on Glassdoor checking each companies average salaries.
yungsnuggie over 9 years agoIt's hard to resist those big numbers
Have you seen salarytalk.org? Much more accurate for base wages.
CS Fix My Shit Fallacy
The false assumption that anyone who can code or has a computer science degree can fix your computer or any household electronics.
Marco: Hey you study Computerz at that fancy university don' you? Could you fix my toaster? Julian: Hell no. Why would I know how to do something like that. Marco: Because computerz are basically more advance toasterz.
yungsnuggie over 9 years agoHackathon
A period of time usually around 24 hours, in which teams of programmers and designers build out a working project and display it to judges at the end.
How Hackathons are judged vary completely on the theme and personal preference making it an extremely relative competition.
Sloan: What are you building for this years hackathon? Jim: I'm building a Python interpreter. Sloan: Why? Jim: Because I think a robot who could communicate with snakes and humans could be incredibly useful. Sloan: ...
yungsnuggie over 9 years agoUsually by coders that have no idea if there is any meaningful market for their hack.
Systems Design
Biggest joke of University of Waterloo. This is a program offered at University of Waterloo where students go to lose knowledge they already have. People in this program are believed to be so stupid that they spell SIDE as SYDE.
Person 1: Man, I am so depressed. I don't think I can go on
Person 1: Hey why is it so bright out-syde ? ( This person 1 is in Systems Design that is why he spells side as syde. What an idiot !!)
Person 2: Hey dude don't give up atleast you are not in Systems Design
Person 1: But I just got accepted in Systems Design
Person 2: Yeah, you should kill yourself
Person 2: Because people in-side are dumb
fuckSystems over 9 years agoIs this a commonly held belief?
@zazpowered yep
@zazpowered No this isn't. There is no "joke major" at Waterloo engineering/maths. SYDE is a perfectly fine program that has produced a lot of very fine engineers/entrepreneurs. OP's hate is rather bizarre.
Coffee Maker
In many offices a coffee maker refers to a machine that produces coffee. In Silicon Valley however, a coffee maker is an actual human being (normally an intern) whose job it is to grind the coffee beans by hand and brew drip coffee.
In many places it is culturally unacceptable to drink coffee that isn't freshly brewed or use beans that aren't single origin.
Bill the Intern: Here's your coffee Justin.
Justin: Thanks Bill. The kale leaves on the side are a nice touch. *sips.* Bill come over here for a second.
Bill the Intern: What can I do for you Justin. I hope your enjoying the Tesora blend they had on sale at Philz.
Justin: First off, you disgust me. Second off, I never want to see your face in this office again. I hope it goes without saying that you are THE worst coffee maker this company has ever had. What have we learned today?
Bill the Intern: Single origin only...
Justin: Good. Now get out.
yungsnuggie over 9 years agocoffee culture is crazy
No Money Mo' Problems
This is an expression often used by startups who're running out of their funding.
It's the antithesis of the idea propagated by the east coast rapper Biggie Smalls who is sometimes remembered for his song "Mo Money Mo Problems."
Zeeshan: Alright I want the Vesace leather over by the Tom Ford couch. Also want that 4k TV on top of the shark tank and we need more Blue Bottle coffee beans for the coffee maker. Matt: Yo! We need to use this money properly. We need to hire engineers! Zeeshan: Nah don't worry I just sold my website cats4justice.com for 500k and invested it back in the company. I thought ahead, no money, mo' problems. Matt: Sweet. Yeah Biggie didn't know what he was talking about. West coast 5eva.
yungsnuggie over 9 years agoShallow Alto
Another name for Palo Alto, denoting how shallow and superficial many (but not all) of it's inhabitants are.
Winston: Stanford is so much better than Cal. We're higher ranked and our football team actually wins games. The people who go to your school are plebeians. Steve: Oh yeah! Well... Winston: I like how your school spends so much of my taxpayer money on that pathetic group of children you call a football team. Your stadium can't cover up how much they suck. Steve: Just get outta here man. Go back to Shallow Alto. We got heart here. Winston: Sleeping on the floor and smoking weed all day doesn't mean you guys have heart. Steve: Get back to Shallow ALTO man!!! Just because we don't get sexually aroused every time we see someone driving a nice car, pay higher prices for shitty property, and judge others solely for their wealth and education doesn't make us any worse.
yungsnuggie over 9 years agoThe Stack Overflow Scramble
When your compiler throws an error that you have no idea what the fuck it means. You then copy and paste it in stack overflow hoping for answers. One's heart rate tends to increase when their new to this. Soon it becomes a routine and one does this repeatedly until they figure out what's happening.
I spent the whole day stack overflow scrambling, trying to figure out why I kept getting this thing called a "Null Pointer Exception."
yungsnuggie over 9 years agoTo Compile
When your machine is assembling the information and commands you've written. If there are no errors that prevent this from happening, your program is normally ready to be tested.
Matt: No errors! My code compiles. This shit works. Zeeshan: Let's pistol ship it and call it a day.
yungsnuggie over 9 years agoThe Matrix Delusion
When someone new begins their study in computer science thinking it will be as cool as the scenes denoting hacking and coding in the film "The Matrix."
James: Dude what the fuck is this?
Lloyd: It's called Eclipse.
James: But where are all the green numbers. Where's the console where I can issue my commands to hack things?!
Lloyd: You've fallen for the matrix delusion. This is gonna be a rough year.
James: What the fuck is the point of this... I'm applying to Haas.
yungsnuggie over 9 years ago
Oak-land. nice