This person was smart enough to get into the engineering college of a university and yet undecisive enough to not know what he wanted to actually pick.
My name is Jimmy and I'm an undeclared engineering student trying to decide between, BioE, EECS, MechE, and Civil Engineering.
A startup that is a phase of secrecy in which they don't reveal what they actually do in an attempt to ward off potential competition.
Zeeshan What do you do?
Steve: I'm in a startup.
Zeeshan: What do you guys do?
Steve: I can't tell you. We're in stealth mode.
Zeeshan: That's dumb.
Electrical Engineering and Computer Science.
This EECS major I met just codes and plays DOTA all day when he's finished working.
A male to male friend finding app referenced in the first episode of Silicon Valley in which Erlich Bachman claims to have a 10% stake in.
Little more about me.
I am the founder of Aviato.
And I own a very small percentage of Grindr.
It's a men to men dating site where you can find other men within 10 miles of you.
Clothes and household items given to you by your company to indirectly promote it and create a sense of pride for. To many, it's an unfortunate, but inevitable spending of startup dollars.
I got hired Thursday and Grindr just gave me some awesome swag to celebrate my hire. I got a t-shirt, a coffee mug, a sticker, and protein powder.
The condition of an individual or corporation as it regards to the prosperity in direct correlation to free swag earned.
I've studied the Swaganomics of Google, Facebook, and Grindr, and have found that Grindr allocates the greatest net yield of startup swag.
Someone whose often delusioned, that spends immense time mining dogecoins all day
Clark is a dogecoin miner. He thinks that one day all his dogecoins will be worth thousands of dollars.
The person at your LAN party who uses a ridiculous portion of the bandwidth preventing everyone from playing the game they agreed to gather for.
I can't solo-mid with this much lag, I think Lewis is the LAN Mole. His bandwidth is over 9000
A question often posed my computer programmers who seek to make a point that Steve Wozniak could write code and Steve Jobs couldn't (making him the superior founder in their minds). It's often used to indirectly defend their own insecurities in their lack in ability to communicate with other human beings or make things that people actually want.
Erlich: When I sold my company, Aviato, I wanted to give back. That's why I started this place, to do something big. To make a difference. You know, like Steve.
Richard: Uh, Jobs or Wozniak?
Richard: Steve Jobs or Steve...
Erlich: Oh, I heard you.
Richard: Which one?
Erlich: Jobs.
Richard: I mean, Jobs was a poser. He didn't even write code.
Growth hacking is a buzzword journalists and marketers shamelessly use to describe marketing techniques that uses internet applications in non-traditional ways. It makes the person saying it seem as if they've mastered a skill traditional marketers haven't caught on to. Although this is incredibly important aspect for startups it is pretty much a douchier way of saying marketing.
Studying various growth hacking techniques, Jimmy decided to email a million people Dogecoins with his companies name at the bottom of the email to increase exposure.
An internet exchange currency originally used on Silk Road that silicon valley entrepreneurs and investors don't want failing because their startup revolves around it. These same people rarely use it on a day to day basis.
Jimmy: My startup lets you pay for ice cream using Bitcoin.
Jerry: Awesome, as the founder of a Bitcoin company how many Bitcoins do you actually own?
Jimmy: 0
An incubator people apply to when getting rejected from YC. They aren't definitively worst it just always happens to be your second choice every time.
I gotta move to Boston now that we got into Tech Stars and need a semi reputable incubator.
A label you add to your startup's intro (if chosen) that your company exchanges 7% of protected equity to arbitrary increase your valuation with.
After getting accepted from Y Combinator, my 3 man team from [insert top 5 engineering school here], we launched our [insert undeveloped idea that sounds good on paper here], and raised 1.5 million dollars from Demo Day because we're changing the world.
Founder of Square and Twitter. He reads alot of books on self-improvement and tries to build a zen-like culture within the work place like a poor man's Phil Jackson.
Jack Dorsey made us hold hands after the meeting today in a circle. It was awkward because I hear Stacy doesn't wash her hands after going to the bathroom.
A coffee brand that Bay Area engineers and investors drink because Starbucks is too mainstream. They think their consuming premium beans, when really it's all based on multi-bean combinations that no one in their right mind can tell the difference between. Because they secretly know this they ask if you'd like cream and sugar (aka Philz Way)
Zeeshan: Can I try your Ambarosia?
Matt: Sure, let me try your Tesora.
Zeeshan: Wow I taste a more buttery aftertaste in yours.
Matt: Woah is that a hint of Blueberry.
Justin: You guys are both full of shit. They taste exactly the same. This is Philz Coffee, not Blue Bottle.
The default answer lazy software engineers give to their non-techinical friends, when asked what the best way to learn how to code is.
Jimmy: You're such a good programmer. I want to learn how to code, but already have this Haas degree and can't go back to college. What can I do to learn today? Bobby: I don't know man, google it. I hear Codecademy is a thing. I just want to go back to playing DOTA.
One of the most successful startup angel investors in Silicon Valley and the head of SV Angel in Palo Alto. He went to San Jose State, likes to drink diet coke, and invested in Google, Facebook, Twitter, Square, Pinterest, and many others.
It's no secret that Paul Graham secretly aspires to be Ron Conway by the way his eyes beam feverishly whenever interviewing him.
The subject of Hollywood biopics and Silicon Valley biographies for the next couple decades. People on the internet (computer programmers in particular) complain about they are after paying money to see it.
He is also the founder of Apple Computer and Pixar Inc.
Hey Jimmy I'm sad because every Steve Jobs movie I watch is the same thing.
Let's watch Jurassic World instead because Dinosaurs.
- YOUNG STEVE JOBS DOING PSYCHIADELICS
- HE'S BACK FROM INDIA (WOAH HOW RANDOM HES A VEGETARIAN NOW)
- STEVE JOBS LOOKING AT STEVE WOZNIAK WITH HIS MOUTH WATERING ABOUT HOW HE CAN SELL WHAT WOZ IS BUILDING
- STEVE JOBS HAS AN ILLIGENTIAMTE CHILD (WOAH HE NAMES THE COMPUTER AFTER IT LATER?!)
- STEVE JOBS YELLS AT SOME GUY WHO PROBABLY DOESN'T DESERVE IT. SOME GUY GETS MAD AT STEVE JOBS SAYING HE'S OUT OF LINE
- STEVE JOBS HIRES THE CEO OF PEPSI (DO YOU WANT TO SELL SUGAR WATER FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, WOAH HOW COOL)
- STEVE JOBS IS FIRED AND SCREAMS WHILE DRIVING HIS CAR HOME
- STEVE JOBS STARTS ANOTHER COMPANY AND ACTS LIKE A SMUG BASTARD WHEN THE COMPANY IS DOING SHITTY
- STEVE JOBS GOES BACK TO THE COMPANY AND IT DOES WELL (DISCREETLY ALLUDE TO THE IPOD)
- THROW IN SOMETHING ABOUT CALLIGRAPHY, WOZ EATING A HOTDOG, AND SOME DRAMATIC QUOTES TAKEN OUT OF CONTEXT AND FADE TO BLACK
The equivalent of a 4.0 GPA at the majority of top schools. Why the majority of Berkeley students have a hard time justifying their donations as alumni.
I gotta a 3O this quarter. I love Stanford.
A discontinued personal digital assistant that Apple Inc. created in 1987 that is often used as a cliche to justify how companies fail before they are successful or are sometimes ahead of their time.
I created Grindr back in the early 2000s. It's incrediby popular today, but back then nobody thought twice of using it. It was our companies Apple Newton.
Possibly more valuable label than Stanford in the startup world.