yungsnuggie
yungsnuggie (1281)

5

No Money Mo' Problems

This is an expression often used by startups who're running out of their funding.

It's the antithesis of the idea propagated by the east coast rapper Biggie Smalls who is sometimes remembered for his song "Mo Money Mo Problems."

Zeeshan: Alright I want the Vesace leather over by the Tom Ford couch. Also want that 4k TV on top of the shark tank and we need more Blue Bottle coffee beans for the coffee maker.

Matt: Yo! We need to use this money properly. We need to hire engineers!

Zeeshan: Nah don't worry I just sold my website cats4justice.com for 500k and invested it back in the company. I thought ahead, no money, mo' problems.

Matt: Sweet. Yeah Biggie didn't know what he was talking about. West coast 5eva.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 8 years ago

    5

    Shallow Alto

    Another name for Palo Alto, denoting how shallow and superficial many (but not all) of it's inhabitants are.

    Winston: Stanford is so much better than Cal. We're higher ranked and our football team actually wins games. The people who go to your school are plebeians.

    Steve: Oh yeah! Well...

    Winston: I like how your school spends so much of my taxpayer money on that pathetic group of children you call a football team. Your stadium can't cover up how much they suck.

    Steve: Just get outta here man. Go back to Shallow Alto. We got heart here.

    Winston: Sleeping on the floor and smoking weed all day doesn't mean you guys have heart.

    Steve: Get back to Shallow ALTO man!!! Just because we don't get sexually aroused every time we see someone driving a nice car, pay higher prices for shitty property, and judge others solely for their wealth and education doesn't make us any worse.

    Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 8 years ago

      5

      The Stack Overflow Scramble

      When your compiler throws an error that you have no idea what the fuck it means. You then copy and paste it in stack overflow hoping for answers. One's heart rate tends to increase when their new to this. Soon it becomes a routine and one does this repeatedly until they figure out what's happening.

      I spent the whole day stack overflow scrambling, trying to figure out why I kept getting this thing called a "Null Pointer Exception."

      Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 8 years ago

        5

        To Compile

        When your machine is assembling the information and commands you've written. If there are no errors that prevent this from happening, your program is normally ready to be tested.

        Matt: No errors! My code compiles. This shit works.

        Zeeshan: Let's pistol ship it and call it a day.

        Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 8 years ago

          5

          The Matrix Delusion

          When someone new begins their study in computer science thinking it will be as cool as the scenes denoting hacking and coding in the film "The Matrix."

          James: Dude what the fuck is this?
          Lloyd: It's called Eclipse.
          James: But where are all the green numbers. Where's the console where I can issue my commands to hack things?!
          Lloyd: You've fallen for the matrix delusion. This is gonna be a rough year.
          James: What the fuck is the point of this... I'm applying to Haas.

          Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 8 years ago

            5

            Machine Learning

            It's exactly how it sounds. It's a subfield of computer science dealing in pattern recognition and computational learning theory in artificial intelligence.

            In Silicon Valley, people hail this subfield as the leading frontier for innovation that is applicable in almost every company. Machine Learning engineers are very high in demand as the work they produce allows for products to adapt and compute at higher levels than humans can.

            Jack: The best jeopordy player and the best chess player in the world are computers.
            James: That's the power of machine learning, being able to adapt to situations and read more steps ahead than a human can.
            Jack: Yeah but I bet he can't FEEL like I can.
            James: How do you feel?
            Jack: I feel like shit actually...

            Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 8 years ago

              5

              Class Shopping

              Signing up for more courses than you intend to take to scope out whether you want to keep them on your schedule.

              Jack: How was your first day?
              Pete: Pretty good, went class shopping and decided to enroll in CS150, CS162, and CS188. Dropping CS170, Math 55, and PhysicsH7C though.

              Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 8 years ago

                4

                Coffee Maker

                In many offices a coffee maker refers to a machine that produces coffee. In Silicon Valley however, a coffee maker is an actual human being (normally an intern) whose job it is to grind the coffee beans by hand and brew drip coffee.

                In many places it is culturally unacceptable to drink coffee that isn't freshly brewed or use beans that aren't single origin.

                Bill the Intern: Here's your coffee Justin.
                Justin: Thanks Bill. The kale leaves on the side are a nice touch. *sips.* Bill come over here for a second.
                Bill the Intern: What can I do for you Justin. I hope your enjoying the Tesora blend they had on sale at Philz.
                Justin: First off, you disgust me. Second off, I never want to see your face in this office again. I hope it goes without saying that you are THE worst coffee maker this company has ever had. What have we learned today?
                Bill the Intern: Single origin only...
                Justin: Good. Now get out.

                Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 8 years ago

                2

                Macgyverist Product Development

                When a founder or group of founders take code that is useless by itself, from their former products, stick it together, and make a prototype/product that is incredibly popular.

                Macgyverism is a term used to denote taking seemingly useless things to make something incredible.

                Jimmy's new iOS game, Chang goes to India, was a result of macgyverist product development where he took a bunch of useless code from his previous projects, stuck it together in an hour, and shipped it.

                Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 8 years ago

                  4

                  Pintern

                  A title interns at the company Pinterest give themselves when joining the company for an internship.

                  Along with the intellectual prestige that goes along with working at a brand named company like this, it's mostly used to make the intern feel cute/happy go lucky.

                  Vanessa: I interned at Microsoft in Seattle this year on the Bing team. It was pretty sweet. Whad you do Pete?

                  Pete: I'm GLAD you asked Vanessa! I was a PINTERN this summer. I'd go to my work in my pajamas and drink hot cocoas all day, while developing some pretty pintresting stuff.

                  Vanessa: Fantastic...

                  Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 8 years ago

                    4

                    Stopping Out

                    This is essentially the same thing as dropping out, except you still have the option of returning to the school you dropped out of even after a couple of years.

                    Most top universities have policies allowing students to "stop out." All "dropping out" is essentially "stopping out" the major difference being that the "drop out" doesn't return.

                    Jack stopped out of Berkeley after YC funded his startup, but ended up returning to school after he realized that it wasn't for him.

                    Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 8 years ago

                      6

                      Startup/Big Co Power Couple

                      When one member of a relationship works at a more well-known tech company, while the other works on a startup. This ensures that the couple can at least pay rent while the other member of the relationship pursues something new.

                      Because Milly works at Netflix and Erik is working in a startup revolving biotic limbs, they are are a strong startup/bigco power couple who're said to be going places while still being relatively secure.

                      Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 8 years ago

                      6

                      Fuck You I Made It Burn

                      When someone whose reached any level of success posts the emails, IMs, or correspondence between them and anyone whose rejected them publicly prefacing it all as motivation for others to continue working hard toward their goals.

                      Man I felt so good reading Brian Chesky's, 7 Rejection's Medium post last Sunday. Reading those rejections word for word and blurring out the name of the person sending it, probably made it the best and most subtle Fuck You I Made It Burn of the year.

                      https://medium.com/@bchesky/7-rejections-7d894cbaa084

                      Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 8 years ago

                        6

                        US Bitcoin Legislative Arms Race

                        This references the pressure Bitcoin startups have to show significant traction or get acquired before the United States outlaws the use of Bitcoin (whether this will or will not happen is of course debatable).

                        Look man, because of the US Bitcoin Legislative Arms Race, our job is to make enough sales and sell out before the House and Senate make some extreme move in banning Bitcoin and making our company essentially worthless here in the US. I don't want to move to Greece man.

                        Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 8 years ago

                          5

                          Silicon Beach

                          Silicon Beach is the Westside region of LA that is home to over 500 tech startup companies. It mostly includes Santa Monica, Venice, Playa Vista, and Westchester.

                          Notable company offices include Google, Yahoo, YouTube, BuzzFeed, MySpace, and the Snapchat HQ.

                          My friends in Berkeley laughed at me when I told them I was interviewing at Snapchat in Silicon Beach. They kept telling me to stop dignifying LA's attempt to have any sort technological relevance. Another guy for some reason thought I said Silicone Beach, which also refers to LA.

                          Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 8 years ago

                            5

                            The Does It Exist Check

                            The process after one comes up with a startup idea in which a person vehemently searches Google and the iOS app store to see if their idea exists some way, shape, or form.

                            Steve: I came up with 10 startup ideas today.
                            Zeeshan: Did they pass the "Does it Exist Check?"
                            Steve: Only one did.
                            Zeeshan: What is it?
                            Steve: A social network in which one can allow their pets to interact with each other online
                            Zeeshan: So you mean a Facebook for cats and dogs?
                            Steve: Birds and fish too.

                            Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 8 years ago

                            5

                            College Dropout

                            A complete wildcard. They are either genius level smart or are biting off more they can chew. In the case of the latter, they have either watched too many Peter Thiel talks that didn't apply to them, watched The Social Network more than 2 times, or are not familiar with the terms on this website.

                            Like I used to go to Davis, but now I'm a college dropout. It's just that school was holding me back you know? Like Zuck in the Social Network, I'm just way smarter than everyone and girls don't get me. I got my iPod on Kanye West's College Dropout album too cuz that's what I relate too and he's pretty much singing about me.

                            Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 8 years ago

                              4

                              Digital Wallet Startups

                              Startups that pitch never having to carry a wallet again. It's a brilliant pitch, so brilliant in fact that there are probably about 20 of them that have raised funding. Sometimes one may wonder if these investors had heard of the other dozen startups doing the exact same thing.

                              Jack decided to start digital wallet company after forgetting his wallet in his apartment, and having a huge caffeine headache. He came to his sense after Googling in and realizing there were already enough companies trying to do it, including Google itself.

                              Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 8 years ago

                                4

                                The Social Network Effect

                                This can reference the effect in which an online community gives life and growth to a software application.

                                It can also give reference to the hypothesized phenomenon that software startup incorporation increased in correlation to the film "The Social Network."

                                This was one of the first films where hacker culture as we know it was displayed in commercial theaters for the world to observe in a highly dramatic way and perhaps inspired people to try to soar before they could walk.

                                I've observed the social network effect in Orange County in that everyone I seem to meet wants to do a software startup, but none of them want to learn how build a business or learn how to talk to software engineers without sounding stupid.

                                Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 8 years ago

                                  4

                                  To Backdoor

                                  Backdooring someone is purposely leaving a security vulnerability in the form of code that's sometimes purposely put in by the programmer. This is done to later have the ability to sabotage the company/person they are building it for, usually in case he or she gets screwed over by them somehow or are just bored.

                                  Just to be a complete dick, Jack backdoored his brother in law's resume website, when building it for him to purposely make pictures of cats pop up whenever a user clicks anywhere. On thursdays he changes it from cats to pandas.

                                  Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 8 years ago