charlesjo
charlesjo (42)

4

Connector

BS filler that folks use in their Linkedin headline (and/or business cards) when they really don't have anything important to say about themselves. A Connector in SV is the equivalent of a Hollywood socialite.

Josh, to himself: Aaannnd there...I just set my LinkedIn headline to Entrepreneur | Connector| Networker | Twerker. Now I am gonna sit back and watch the job offers roll in.

Added by That_Guy That_Guy about 6 years ago

4

Stanfurd

For some reason UC Berkeley students think spelling Stanford like this is some sort of insult.

Jessica: We won the big game against Cal again.

Ben: You go to STANFURD soo who cares??

Jessica: Uh...

Added by covfefelord covfefelord about 6 years ago

    5

    #ILookLikeAnEngineer

    A popular hashtag meant to showcase Silicon Valley's diversity beyond the stereotype.

    #ILookLikeAnEngineer has been really effective at breaking the stereotype about engineers. It's making the world a better place as a result.

    Added by GoogleEngineer GoogleEngineer about 6 years ago

      5

      Oracle

      Software with the fugliest UI of all time.

      Matt: Want to give my roomie a a real scare this Halloween, any ideas?
      Dom: Just change his desktop wallpaper to a screenshot from an Oracle system, brah!

      Added by That_Guy That_Guy about 6 years ago

        4

        PaaS

        Platform as a Service. Provides a platform for developers to deploy and manage web applications without them having to worry about the underlying infrastructure.

        Heroku is a popular PaaS

        Added by zazpowered zazpowered about 6 years ago

        • charlesjo charlesjo

          Paas could be the Easter egg coloring Platform as a Service.

          1
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          about 6 years ago
        • passionate passionate

          it should be > Platform as a Service. Provides a platform for developers to deploy and manage web applications without them having to worry about the underlying infrastructure, but the platform.

          3
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          about 6 years ago
        46

        This changes everything

        Nothing has changed. Pure marketing

        See http://svdictionary.com/words/changing-the-world

        Introducing the iPhone 4. This changes everything.

        Added by zazpowered zazpowered about 6 years ago

        • charlesjo charlesjo

          Love it. Although, I did love my iPhone 4S. And it still runs like ALL Apple products I have ever owned!

          2
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          about 6 years ago
        • thepaleking thepaleking

          Doesn't change much to be honest, 99% marketing 1% decent phone

          2
          Reply
          almost 6 years ago
        6

        Linkedin

        A publicly-traded spam-bot and click-bait machine. It will steal your contacts info and transmit spam to you and your contacts in perpetuity. The 'Unsubscribe' link in the email is only a placeholder. LinkedIn engineers deliberately did not code any action into the link click, because Fuck You!
        Compelled by the torrent of spam, you will login to the web interface/app and have your news feed bombarded with Grade A click-bait from famous internet trolls such as Business Insider.

        I recently signed up on LinkedIn and now my 100GB inbox is #reckt.

        Added by That_Guy That_Guy about 6 years ago

        • blwinters blwinters

          Best thing I've read on SVD.

          1
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          about 6 years ago
        • charlesjo charlesjo

          Whoever wrote this definition, please endorse me.

          1
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          about 6 years ago
        6

        Uber Funded

        When your startup is funded from the side cash made off of Uber driving.

        Zayne: Have you guys raised a round of funding?

        Pan: We are in fact, Uber funded.

        Zayne: Right...congrats?

        Added by HalfLife3 HalfLife3 about 6 years ago

          7

          Escape Velocity

          Speed at which meaningless buzzwords escape the lips of Pebble-wearing hipster entrepreneurs and Fitbit-wearing overweight VCs, when talking about rapidly growing start ups. Currently clocked at an average of 240 wpm.

          VC: How do you plan to achieve your projected engagement numbers?
          Entrepreneur: We plan to hack together a MVP by leveraging weekly Scrums and neutralize our burn r...
          VC: I think you just achieved escape velocity.

          Added by That_Guy That_Guy about 6 years ago

            4

            Code Crushing

            Naming the variables in your code after the person you have a crush on.

            Diane: Let me take a look, maybe I can help you debug.

            Ryan: Wait NO!

            Diane: Why is my name everywhere in your codebase.

            Ryan: I've been code crushing ever since you joined the company last week. I'm just too much of a coward to tell you my feelings.

            Diane: That's pretty obvious. I found you bug though. You left out a parenthesis.

            Added by HalfLife3 HalfLife3 about 6 years ago

            4

            Overtime Dinner Tradeoff

            Normally if an employee stays until 7pm (two extra hours after they are free to go) the office gives them a 15 dollar credit toward dinner. Many employees don't mind staying an extra two hours at their mostly well-funded office to not have to shell out cash for dinner every night. The office wins with two hours of extra labor and the employee wins with not having to worry about dinner.

            Many companies use systems like Waiter.com to diversify food choices as well, so everyday the employee gets 15$ of food from a new restaurant.

            Jim: I saved a total of 500$ this month on food.

            Lee: God...the overtime dinner tradeoff is the one of the only things making me consider joining a big company. I'm sick of eating 5 dollar footlongs every day.

            Added by HalfLife3 HalfLife3 about 6 years ago

            7

            CS Fix My Shit Fallacy

            The false assumption that anyone who can code or has a computer science degree can fix your computer or any household electronics.

            Marco: Hey you study Computerz at that fancy university don' you? Could you fix my toaster?

            Julian: Hell no. Why would I know how to do something like that.

            Marco: Because computerz are basically more advance toasterz.

            Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie about 6 years ago

              5

              The Does It Exist Check

              The process after one comes up with a startup idea in which a person vehemently searches Google and the iOS app store to see if their idea exists some way, shape, or form.

              Steve: I came up with 10 startup ideas today.
              Zeeshan: Did they pass the "Does it Exist Check?"
              Steve: Only one did.
              Zeeshan: What is it?
              Steve: A social network in which one can allow their pets to interact with each other online
              Zeeshan: So you mean a Facebook for cats and dogs?
              Steve: Birds and fish too.

              Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie about 6 years ago

              6

              Slacktivism

              Supporting a cause in the laziest way possible, usually on social media. You feel like you're helping without getting out of your chair.

              "I see in my feed you retweeted every single ice bucket challenge video. You should get an award for your slacktivism."

              Added by healthdatatom healthdatatom about 6 years ago

              • yungsnuggie yungsnuggie

                this one's great

                1
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                about 6 years ago
              • charlesjo charlesjo

                Thought this could be on Slack which would make audience even smaller. "I've done my part in the movement since I discussed it in my private Slack group."

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                about 6 years ago
              5

              Sweat Equity

              A modern socially acceptable form of labor exploitation where the allure of an infinitesimally small probability of success entices normally intelligent people to freely exchange their time, skills and social capital for the ridiculously accessible status of "working on a startup."

              Typically equity-for-anything, though the most vivid examples are commission-only sales roles: if you take on all of the up front risk to get people interested in our product (with zero effort from us), you might make a little money in the process.

              Added by svbiz svbiz about 6 years ago

                5

                !=

                Not equal. This is a boolean symbol sometime also written in social media

                Cats != Dogs

                Unicorns == Unicorns

                Added by HalfLife3 HalfLife3 about 6 years ago

                  5

                  Poaching

                  When someone invites you to have an informal one on one meeting with them, with the implicit understanding that they are trying to recruit you to his or her company. This almost always done when someone is working at another company.

                  This is my poaching strategy, George:

                  When we're at lunch, I'll be super friendly to the person I'm inviting. We won't even TALK about work for the first 20 minutes. If my work comes up I'll tell them how awesome everything's going and how we're growing at an absurd rate.

                  Then I'll ease into the conversation asking how work is going at their company.

                  As SOON as they start to say something negative about their current working experience I'll ask them more about it and sympathize with them. I'd tell them that we'd love to have them on our team and after that I'll offer to pay the bill.

                  Finally, I'll invite them to my office, "just to check it out." From there 95% of the work is done and we just start talking about dates they could possibly join in. It's all casual though. If they want to move, this is the opportunity they'll normally seize.

                  Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie about 6 years ago

                    6

                    US Bitcoin Legislative Arms Race

                    This references the pressure Bitcoin startups have to show significant traction or get acquired before the United States outlaws the use of Bitcoin (whether this will or will not happen is of course debatable).

                    Look man, because of the US Bitcoin Legislative Arms Race, our job is to make enough sales and sell out before the House and Senate make some extreme move in banning Bitcoin and making our company essentially worthless here in the US. I don't want to move to Greece man.

                    Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie about 6 years ago

                      5

                      Scalable

                      A term used by startups that aren't profitable, but say they are this to sound potentially profitable.

                      Investor: Is your startup profitable? What's the revenue since launch?

                      Founder: We're not profitable, but we're scalable. We plan to scale up and then focus on revenue streams.

                      Added by Original Jared Original Jared about 6 years ago

                        5

                        Silicon Beach

                        Silicon Beach is the Westside region of LA that is home to over 500 tech startup companies. It mostly includes Santa Monica, Venice, Playa Vista, and Westchester.

                        Notable company offices include Google, Yahoo, YouTube, BuzzFeed, MySpace, and the Snapchat HQ.

                        My friends in Berkeley laughed at me when I told them I was interviewing at Snapchat in Silicon Beach. They kept telling me to stop dignifying LA's attempt to have any sort technological relevance. Another guy for some reason thought I said Silicone Beach, which also refers to LA.

                        Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie about 6 years ago