covfefelord
covfefelord (77)

26

Engineer Hot Girl Syndrome

When a non-technical founder starts treating really good engineers like attractive girls, asking them out to dinner, buying them gifts arbitrarily, and sometimes getting nervous in their presence.

Zeeshan's friend Vishnu is such a good programmer I get engineer hot girl syndrome in his presence. I want him on our team so badly.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 7 years ago

    13

    Palo Alto

    Spanish for "tall tree." English for "overly priced land."

    The worst part about having to move to California and begin our new software company is living in Palo Alto. I'm working out of and living in a small house I have to split with 6 other guys and we're still paying a fortune!

    Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 7 years ago

    • charlesjo charlesjo

      There's a joke: Palo Alto is a 2 exit town. It takes 2 successful venture exits to afford to live there.

      2
      Reply
      over 7 years ago
    6

    Gluttonygramming

    Programming and working at a slower pace to purposely get more food out of the company.

    Jordan didn't feel like cooking dinner so he started gluttonygramming to force the company employee policy of paying a 15$ credit for engineer's dinner who works until after 7.

    Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 7 years ago

      12

      IE Troll

      A person who purposely uses Internet Explorer in front of others and claims that it is the superior browser on the market, to either mock another person or make it seem like they are completely incompetent.

      Jack is an IE troll who gets girls to help him install chrome because he is "so bad" at using computers.

      Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 7 years ago

        20

        Bing It

        An expression created by a marketing team within Microsoft that hypothesized that people would say this over the more commonly used expression "Google it."

        Microsoft Marketing Rep: I want you to figure out Google's market share.
        Bing Product Engineer: Sure one sec let me Google it.
        Microsoft Marketing Rep: NO! Bing it!
        Bing Product Engineer: Oh right, I forgot.

        Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 7 years ago

          5

          Hacker News Hack

          A person who spends his time commenting on Hacker News product posts all day criticizing everything he sees, but is just barely aware that they can't make something original of his or her own.

          During his breaks, Jack becomes a hacker news hack who browses hacker news all day and criticizes everything he reads.

          Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 7 years ago

            13

            The Anti Drug Test Node

            An employee who mostly does his assignments and work under the influence quite often, but is so valuable to the company that the managers go through any length to prevent drug tests from being conducted on that individual or department.

            We never have drug tests here in the engineering department because of all the anti-drug test nodes in the office. If we did we'd have to fire half the people who've designed our system architecture.

            Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 7 years ago

              14

              Swift

              Swift is a multi-paradigm, compiled programming language created by Apple Inc. It is also the last name of a famous American pop star.

              Zeeshan: Your resume says you have 10 years of Swift experience.
              Intern Applicant: Yes sir.
              Zeeshan: You do realize it hasn't been around for that long...
              Intern Applicant: Sorry sir I was trying to look cool.

              Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 7 years ago

                36

                MBA

                Certification that you've read case studies on how others have succeeded.

                Steve: Have you started your business yet?
                Jeremey: No I'm getting my MBA. I'll start my first business when I'm 30 and have a wife and kids.

                Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 7 years ago

                10

                ESports

                Video game players attempt to turn DOTA, LoL, Counter Strike, and other popular video games into a sport lost in a twilight dream that one day they can be paid large sums of money to validate their laziness.

                I didn't go to a single class this semester because my friends and I are dropping out to start a Goat Simulator ESports team.

                Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 7 years ago

                  10

                  MD Daydreamer

                  A doctor who has passive regrets on his life choices and wonders on the inside whether he or she had what it took to start his or her own business. They makes it a priority to take the opportunity to pitch patients who work in software (regardless of what company they work for) in between his or her diagnosis and sometimes at dinner parties.

                  I stopped going to Dr. Jacobson who is an MD Daydreamer. He always pitches me his idea for canine heart monitors that sends out tweets once a day.

                  Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 7 years ago

                    5

                    The 90:10 Dilemma

                    When men or women question the workplace environment they're about to accept a position in solely based on the fact that there is an inordinately unbalanced ratio of men to women, which is highly perturbing to the individual.

                    After being sorrounded by men the entire day, Casey turned down the job at Zynga secretly perturbed by the 90:10 Dilemma.

                    Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 7 years ago

                      7

                      Tech Aficionado

                      A person who is insecure about their superficial knowledge in software, hardware and technology in general, but really wants to fit in. It's a description often used in online social blogging bios.

                      Hi my name is Homer, I'm a sushi enthusiast, cat owner, and a tech aficionado living in the Bay Area. I do marketing for Uber.

                      Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 7 years ago

                        17

                        The LinkedIn Endorsement Burn

                        Passive aggressively endorsing someone on LinkedIn for a menial skill such as Microsoft Word, while purposely ignoring their more relevant talents in things like Ruby on Rails or Objective C in an attempt to belittle them.

                        Gilfoil got LinkedIn endorsement burned by Zeeshan when he purposely decided to only endorse him for Microsoft Powerpoint, even though he's a senior engineer at Pied Piper with a wide array of talents.

                        Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 7 years ago

                          9

                          *Insert Noun Here* Enthusiast

                          A description often used in online social blogging bios that superficially attempts to showcase aspects of one's personality that one wants others to remember them for. Many times these descriptions are used to compensate for lack of knowledge or experience in that very same area.

                          Hi my name is Homer, I'm a Ruby on Rails enthusiast, cat owner, and a tech aficionado living in the Bay Area. I do marketing for Lyft.

                          Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 7 years ago

                            9

                            Backseat Investor

                            An investor who will never tell you no, but will wait for a lead investor to commit so he can take a backseat and ride the return train. They always tell you to keep them informed with your project without ever providing active help.

                            I thought Cody would be a generous investor after his company got acquired, but instead he's just another backseat investor waiting for a bigger fish to bite.

                            Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 7 years ago

                              4

                              Jack Dorsey Style Scale

                              A highly scientific way to rate Internet moguls' approach to dressing relative to that of Jack Dorsey's. Reference

                              Sarah: Woah Mark Pincus dresses really well. I think he is an example of an internet mogul with 5 out of 5 on the Dorsey Style Scale.
                              Adarsh: That's true but he's not an engineer. We need to revise the scale to be technical moguls only if want to make it fair.

                              Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 7 years ago

                                6

                                One Dollar Billionaire

                                Refers to the $1 a year salary that a lot of founders and top executives take on for tax benefits. It's also because who really cares about salary when you have a billion dollars.

                                Mark Zuckerberg: I make $1 a year. You know what that means

                                Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 7 years ago

                                  4

                                  Nelson “Big Head” Bighetti

                                  Nelson "Big Head" Bighetti was a tenant of Erlich's incubator and is Richard's friend. He is hired by Hooli on a huge promotion to work on Nucleus, Hooli's version of Pied Pier, and to spite Richard. After Big Head is removed from the Nucleus project due to his limited tech knowledge he begins to rest and vest. Later he is promoted to Sole Head Dreamer at Hooli XYZ, a bullshit title and department, because Gavin wants to sue Pied Piper by arguing that Big Head came up with Pied Piper's algorithm while at Hooli.

                                  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7bPAiAE7COo
                                  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zFhrjtZBV_k
                                  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vwo5rjlLhTo
                                  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fM67VYO8qeo

                                  Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 7 years ago

                                    13

                                    Medium

                                    A web blogging platform where independent users write out their opinions that get featured in categorized groups called "Medium Collections."

                                    These articles don't adhere to any real journalistic standards, but are nice to read because in many instances they reaffirm your already deeply held beliefs.

                                    I just wrote 3 articles on Medium on how starting a startup is a really difficult but worthwhile journey. It got picked up and shared by 213 Twitter users.

                                    Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 7 years ago