covfefelord
covfefelord (77)

9

*Insert Noun Here* Enthusiast

A description often used in online social blogging bios that superficially attempts to showcase aspects of one's personality that one wants others to remember them for. Many times these descriptions are used to compensate for lack of knowledge or experience in that very same area.

Hi my name is Homer, I'm a Ruby on Rails enthusiast, cat owner, and a tech aficionado living in the Bay Area. I do marketing for Lyft.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 5 years ago

    13

    Palo Alto

    Spanish for "tall tree." English for "overly priced land."

    The worst part about having to move to California and begin our new software company is living in Palo Alto. I'm working out of and living in a small house I have to split with 6 other guys and we're still paying a fortune!

    Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 5 years ago

    • charlesjo charlesjo

      There's a joke: Palo Alto is a 2 exit town. It takes 2 successful venture exits to afford to live there.

      2
      Reply
      over 5 years ago
    13

    Medium

    A web blogging platform where independent users write out their opinions that get featured in categorized groups called "Medium Collections."

    These articles don't adhere to any real journalistic standards, but are nice to read because in many instances they reaffirm your already deeply held beliefs.

    I just wrote 3 articles on Medium on how starting a startup is a really difficult but worthwhile journey. It got picked up and shared by 213 Twitter users.

    Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 5 years ago

    12

    IE Troll

    A person who purposely uses Internet Explorer in front of others and claims that it is the superior browser on the market, to either mock another person or make it seem like they are completely incompetent.

    Jack is an IE troll who gets girls to help him install chrome because he is "so bad" at using computers.

    Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 5 years ago

      6

      Gluttonygramming

      Programming and working at a slower pace to purposely get more food out of the company.

      Jordan didn't feel like cooking dinner so he started gluttonygramming to force the company employee policy of paying a 15$ credit for engineer's dinner who works until after 7.

      Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 5 years ago

        5

        Hacker News Hack

        A person who spends his time commenting on Hacker News product posts all day criticizing everything he sees, but is just barely aware that they can't make something original of his or her own.

        During his breaks, Jack becomes a hacker news hack who browses hacker news all day and criticizes everything he reads.

        Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 5 years ago

          14

          Swift

          Swift is a multi-paradigm, compiled programming language created by Apple Inc. It is also the last name of a famous American pop star.

          Zeeshan: Your resume says you have 10 years of Swift experience.
          Intern Applicant: Yes sir.
          Zeeshan: You do realize it hasn't been around for that long...
          Intern Applicant: Sorry sir I was trying to look cool.

          Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 5 years ago

            10

            ESports

            Video game players attempt to turn DOTA, LoL, Counter Strike, and other popular video games into a sport lost in a twilight dream that one day they can be paid large sums of money to validate their laziness.

            I didn't go to a single class this semester because my friends and I are dropping out to start a Goat Simulator ESports team.

            Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 5 years ago

              5

              The 90:10 Dilemma

              When men or women question the workplace environment they're about to accept a position in solely based on the fact that there is an inordinately unbalanced ratio of men to women, which is highly perturbing to the individual.

              After being sorrounded by men the entire day, Casey turned down the job at Zynga secretly perturbed by the 90:10 Dilemma.

              Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 5 years ago

                7

                Tech Aficionado

                A person who is insecure about their superficial knowledge in software, hardware and technology in general, but really wants to fit in. It's a description often used in online social blogging bios.

                Hi my name is Homer, I'm a sushi enthusiast, cat owner, and a tech aficionado living in the Bay Area. I do marketing for Uber.

                Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 5 years ago

                  12

                  To Pao

                  To have to step down from a companies executive board at the complaint of the product's core user base.

                  James got paod out of his company after continually getting in controversial flame wars with the companies customer base.

                  Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 5 years ago

                  4

                  Jack Dorsey Style Scale

                  A highly scientific way to rate Internet moguls' approach to dressing relative to that of Jack Dorsey's. Reference

                  Sarah: Woah Mark Pincus dresses really well. I think he is an example of an internet mogul with 5 out of 5 on the Dorsey Style Scale.
                  Adarsh: That's true but he's not an engineer. We need to revise the scale to be technical moguls only if want to make it fair.

                  Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 5 years ago

                    4

                    Nelson “Big Head” Bighetti

                    Nelson "Big Head" Bighetti was a tenant of Erlich's incubator and is Richard's friend. He is hired by Hooli on a huge promotion to work on Nucleus, Hooli's version of Pied Pier, and to spite Richard. After Big Head is removed from the Nucleus project due to his limited tech knowledge he begins to rest and vest. Later he is promoted to Sole Head Dreamer at Hooli XYZ, a bullshit title and department, because Gavin wants to sue Pied Piper by arguing that Big Head came up with Pied Piper's algorithm while at Hooli.

                    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7bPAiAE7COo
                    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zFhrjtZBV_k
                    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vwo5rjlLhTo
                    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fM67VYO8qeo

                    Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 5 years ago

                      6

                      One Dollar Billionaire

                      Refers to the $1 a year salary that a lot of founders and top executives take on for tax benefits. It's also because who really cares about salary when you have a billion dollars.

                      Mark Zuckerberg: I make $1 a year. You know what that means

                      Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 5 years ago

                        9

                        San Francisco

                        The city of San Francisco is one the most famous cities in the Bay Area, home to the SF Giants, hipsters, a thriving LGBT community, and enough fog to make you consider suicide, commonly referred to as "The City". When non Bay Area natives talk about the Bay Area, they're either talking about SF or Silicon Valley.

                        Alex: Yo man, you doing something later? It's Friday.
                        Kim: Yea I'm thinking about heading to The City later for some drinks, probably near Nob Hill or something.
                        Alex: Sounds chill. Can I come?
                        Kim: I don't know if it's your scene. The place has pretty hipster bars. They all have PBR on tap for $5 a pint.

                        Added by xmangoslushie xmangoslushie over 5 years ago

                          6

                          Title Promotion

                          A title promotion is a like a normal promotion, except without any increase in compensation, whether salary or otherwise. This is typically used to make engineers feel more important and get them to do more work without actually paying them for it.

                          Calvin: I just got promoted to Senior Software Engineer! I get to manage a team and maintain existing code!
                          Jerry: Are you getting paid more?
                          Calvin: No, but think of how exciting this opportunity is!
                          Jerry: ...

                          Added by xmangoslushie xmangoslushie over 5 years ago

                            13

                            The Anti Drug Test Node

                            An employee who mostly does his assignments and work under the influence quite often, but is so valuable to the company that the managers go through any length to prevent drug tests from being conducted on that individual or department.

                            We never have drug tests here in the engineering department because of all the anti-drug test nodes in the office. If we did we'd have to fire half the people who've designed our system architecture.

                            Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 5 years ago

                              9

                              Bear Goggles

                              Similar to beer goggles, bear goggles refer to a the influence of studying at UC Berkeley on one's visual perception, whereby one slowly finds someone attractive who would not have been attractive before studying at UC Berkeley.

                              James: What do you think about her? She's pretty hot, right?
                              Dave: What are you on? You said she was hideous last semester. Did your optometrist prescribe you bear goggles?

                              Added by xmangoslushie xmangoslushie over 5 years ago

                              10

                              I Could've Built That Fallacy

                              The fallacy in which someone believes that they were capable of building something before an already more popular version of a product has come out.

                              In many instances this fallacy is contained by engineers working at companies or in academia in an indirect attempt to belittle the success of founders, claiming how trivial it is to build said app. It can also be a feeble attempt to make up for their unrealized internal inferiority complex. In reality they might have been able to code it, but not conceive it's details, key features, and brand identity.

                              George suffered from the I could've built that fallacy for weeks after Snapchat received an offer from Facebook for over a billion dollars in talked about acquisition. He built his own version while working at Google, but it only had 5 users. He was happy he didn't quit his day job.

                              Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 5 years ago

                              13

                              Zombie Startup

                              VC funded companies that don't close their doors after funding runs out, but also does not grow significantly. They typically generate enough revenues to continue business, but the VC is unable to divest. As a result, the company tends to shed all of its brainpower and continues to operate as a brainless zombie for many years.

                              All of the engineering talent has left the company. What's left is a zombie startup that should continue to operate, but nobody's ever going to make money there.

                              Added by ttitus ttitus over 5 years ago