covfefelord
covfefelord (77)

10

MD Daydreamer

A doctor who has passive regrets on his life choices and wonders on the inside whether he or she had what it took to start his or her own business. They makes it a priority to take the opportunity to pitch patients who work in software (regardless of what company they work for) in between his or her diagnosis and sometimes at dinner parties.

I stopped going to Dr. Jacobson who is an MD Daydreamer. He always pitches me his idea for canine heart monitors that sends out tweets once a day.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 8 years ago

    7

    CS Fix My Shit Fallacy

    The false assumption that anyone who can code or has a computer science degree can fix your computer or any household electronics.

    Marco: Hey you study Computerz at that fancy university don' you? Could you fix my toaster?

    Julian: Hell no. Why would I know how to do something like that.

    Marco: Because computerz are basically more advance toasterz.

    Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 8 years ago

      5

      Medium Self-Help

      A genre of of Medium articles aiming to simultaneously enrich the readers lives and indirectly boost a first-time writers confidence and popularity.

      They can range from articles on how to have better relationships with the people around them to how to handle startup stress. Normally everything is anecdotal and nothing is really verifiable.

      Zeeshan: Check out my new medium article, "How to Passion Your Way to Success."
      Matt: That title...what does it even mean? 50 retweets already?
      Zeeshan: Nobody knows what it means. But it's provocative!
      Matt: What...
      Zeeshan: It gets the people going.

      Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 8 years ago

        6

        US Bitcoin Legislative Arms Race

        This references the pressure Bitcoin startups have to show significant traction or get acquired before the United States outlaws the use of Bitcoin (whether this will or will not happen is of course debatable).

        Look man, because of the US Bitcoin Legislative Arms Race, our job is to make enough sales and sell out before the House and Senate make some extreme move in banning Bitcoin and making our company essentially worthless here in the US. I don't want to move to Greece man.

        Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 8 years ago

          6

          Fuck You I Made It Burn

          When someone whose reached any level of success posts the emails, IMs, or correspondence between them and anyone whose rejected them publicly prefacing it all as motivation for others to continue working hard toward their goals.

          Man I felt so good reading Brian Chesky's, 7 Rejection's Medium post last Sunday. Reading those rejections word for word and blurring out the name of the person sending it, probably made it the best and most subtle Fuck You I Made It Burn of the year.

          https://medium.com/@bchesky/7-rejections-7d894cbaa084

          Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 8 years ago

            6

            Startup/Big Co Power Couple

            When one member of a relationship works at a more well-known tech company, while the other works on a startup. This ensures that the couple can at least pay rent while the other member of the relationship pursues something new.

            Because Milly works at Netflix and Erik is working in a startup revolving biotic limbs, they are are a strong startup/bigco power couple who're said to be going places while still being relatively secure.

            Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 8 years ago

            5

            To Compile

            When your machine is assembling the information and commands you've written. If there are no errors that prevent this from happening, your program is normally ready to be tested.

            Matt: No errors! My code compiles. This shit works.

            Zeeshan: Let's pistol ship it and call it a day.

            Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 8 years ago

              5

              Class Shopping

              Signing up for more courses than you intend to take to scope out whether you want to keep them on your schedule.

              Jack: How was your first day?
              Pete: Pretty good, went class shopping and decided to enroll in CS150, CS162, and CS188. Dropping CS170, Math 55, and PhysicsH7C though.

              Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 8 years ago

                5

                Machine Learning

                It's exactly how it sounds. It's a subfield of computer science dealing in pattern recognition and computational learning theory in artificial intelligence.

                In Silicon Valley, people hail this subfield as the leading frontier for innovation that is applicable in almost every company. Machine Learning engineers are very high in demand as the work they produce allows for products to adapt and compute at higher levels than humans can.

                Jack: The best jeopordy player and the best chess player in the world are computers.
                James: That's the power of machine learning, being able to adapt to situations and read more steps ahead than a human can.
                Jack: Yeah but I bet he can't FEEL like I can.
                James: How do you feel?
                Jack: I feel like shit actually...

                Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 8 years ago

                  5

                  No Money Mo' Problems

                  This is an expression often used by startups who're running out of their funding.

                  It's the antithesis of the idea propagated by the east coast rapper Biggie Smalls who is sometimes remembered for his song "Mo Money Mo Problems."

                  Zeeshan: Alright I want the Vesace leather over by the Tom Ford couch. Also want that 4k TV on top of the shark tank and we need more Blue Bottle coffee beans for the coffee maker.

                  Matt: Yo! We need to use this money properly. We need to hire engineers!

                  Zeeshan: Nah don't worry I just sold my website cats4justice.com for 500k and invested it back in the company. I thought ahead, no money, mo' problems.

                  Matt: Sweet. Yeah Biggie didn't know what he was talking about. West coast 5eva.

                  Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 8 years ago

                    5

                    The Matrix Delusion

                    When someone new begins their study in computer science thinking it will be as cool as the scenes denoting hacking and coding in the film "The Matrix."

                    James: Dude what the fuck is this?
                    Lloyd: It's called Eclipse.
                    James: But where are all the green numbers. Where's the console where I can issue my commands to hack things?!
                    Lloyd: You've fallen for the matrix delusion. This is gonna be a rough year.
                    James: What the fuck is the point of this... I'm applying to Haas.

                    Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 8 years ago

                      5

                      Shallow Alto

                      Another name for Palo Alto, denoting how shallow and superficial many (but not all) of it's inhabitants are.

                      Winston: Stanford is so much better than Cal. We're higher ranked and our football team actually wins games. The people who go to your school are plebeians.

                      Steve: Oh yeah! Well...

                      Winston: I like how your school spends so much of my taxpayer money on that pathetic group of children you call a football team. Your stadium can't cover up how much they suck.

                      Steve: Just get outta here man. Go back to Shallow Alto. We got heart here.

                      Winston: Sleeping on the floor and smoking weed all day doesn't mean you guys have heart.

                      Steve: Get back to Shallow ALTO man!!! Just because we don't get sexually aroused every time we see someone driving a nice car, pay higher prices for shitty property, and judge others solely for their wealth and education doesn't make us any worse.

                      Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 8 years ago

                        5

                        The Stack Overflow Scramble

                        When your compiler throws an error that you have no idea what the fuck it means. You then copy and paste it in stack overflow hoping for answers. One's heart rate tends to increase when their new to this. Soon it becomes a routine and one does this repeatedly until they figure out what's happening.

                        I spent the whole day stack overflow scrambling, trying to figure out why I kept getting this thing called a "Null Pointer Exception."

                        Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 8 years ago

                          5

                          Hackathon

                          A period of time usually around 24 hours, in which teams of programmers and designers build out a working project and display it to judges at the end.

                          How Hackathons are judged vary completely on the theme and personal preference making it an extremely relative competition.

                          Sloan: What are you building for this years hackathon?

                          Jim: I'm building a Python interpreter.

                          Sloan: Why?

                          Jim: Because I think a robot who could communicate with snakes and humans could be incredibly useful.

                          Sloan: ...

                          Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 8 years ago

                          • Bwenamai Bwenamai

                            Usually by coders that have no idea if there is any meaningful market for their hack.

                            1
                            Reply
                            over 8 years ago
                          6

                          East Bay Startups

                          Despite mainstream view, they indeed exist are are growing more and more prevalent. With the absurd prices in San Francisco and Palo Alto, areas in Downtown Oakland, Emeryville, and pockets of Berkeley have seen increased growth in new company offices.

                          Many also consider living in the East Bay incredibly convenient, despite it's reputation for crime. It is often asked whether east bay startups should be considered apart of "Silicon Valley," to which many reply..."meh close enough."

                          Winston: Where is your startup office located good sir.

                          James: Oakland son.

                          Winston: I am not familiar with this Oak-Land. How far is it from Sand Hill Road?

                          Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 8 years ago

                          7

                          Code Couple

                          Programming partners (in work or school) that are also involved with one another romantically.

                          Jeremy and Liz are the hottest code couple at Stanford. I hear after finishing their compilers projects they hold hands and read quantum computing books until both their bodies are exhausted.

                          Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 8 years ago

                            3

                            Systems Design

                            Biggest joke of University of Waterloo. This is a program offered at University of Waterloo where students go to lose knowledge they already have. People in this program are believed to be so stupid that they spell SIDE as SYDE.

                            Person 1: Man, I am so depressed. I don't think I can go on
                            Person 2: Hey dude don't give up atleast you are not in Systems Design
                            Person 1: But I just got accepted in Systems Design
                            Person 2: Yeah, you should kill yourself

                            Person 1: Hey why is it so bright out-syde ? ( This person 1 is in Systems Design that is why he spells side as syde. What an idiot !!)
                            Person 2: Because people in-side are dumb

                            Added by fuckSystems fuckSystems over 8 years ago

                            • zazpowered zazpowered

                              Is this a commonly held belief?

                              1
                              Reply
                              over 8 years ago
                            • fuckSystems fuckSystems

                              @zazpowered yep

                              1
                              Reply
                              over 8 years ago
                            • freefunctor freefunctor

                              @zazpowered No this isn't. There is no "joke major" at Waterloo engineering/maths. SYDE is a perfectly fine program that has produced a lot of very fine engineers/entrepreneurs. OP's hate is rather bizarre.

                              1
                              Reply
                              over 8 years ago
                            5

                            Glassdoor

                            Most commonly used for finding the mean salary of a company.

                            It's the website people visit when realizing that despite what they said during their interview about having passion for the product, it was always about the money.

                            Jack: I don't know whether to work at Stripe or Facebook.

                            Jill: You should follow your heart. Do what you have the most passion for.

                            Jack: Sorry I didn't hear you. I'm on Glassdoor checking each companies average salaries.

                            Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 8 years ago

                            • zazpowered zazpowered

                              It's hard to resist those big numbers

                              1
                              Reply
                              over 8 years ago
                            • Montz Montz

                              Have you seen salarytalk.org? Much more accurate for base wages.

                              1
                              Reply
                              over 8 years ago
                            5

                            The 2140 Bitcoin Cap

                            There is an arbitrary cap of around 21 Million Bitcoins in existence (absolutely no more than this will ever be made). It's calculated that the final Bitcoin will be distributed in 2140.

                            Because of this people speculate that it's value will spike greatly, when they are no longer mineable or purchasable by traditional means.

                            I'm going to buy a single Bitcoin and pass it down my family for generations so that the family member that experiences the 2140 Bitcoin Cap will be able to cash out on my small predicted investment.

                            Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 8 years ago

                              5

                              Lord of the Bings

                              The guy or girl in your network who exclusively uses Bing to either be a hipster or to look good because they work at Microsoft.

                              James: Hey can you look up the name of Dan Garcia's new textbook.

                              Rob: Sure I'll Bing it.

                              James: All hail thee, Lord of the Bings.

                              Added by HalfLife3 HalfLife3 over 8 years ago