covfefelord
covfefelord (77)

12

To Pao

To have to step down from a companies executive board at the complaint of the product's core user base.

James got paod out of his company after continually getting in controversial flame wars with the companies customer base.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie about 7 years ago

9

San Francisco

The city of San Francisco is one the most famous cities in the Bay Area, home to the SF Giants, hipsters, a thriving LGBT community, and enough fog to make you consider suicide, commonly referred to as "The City". When non Bay Area natives talk about the Bay Area, they're either talking about SF or Silicon Valley.

Alex: Yo man, you doing something later? It's Friday.
Kim: Yea I'm thinking about heading to The City later for some drinks, probably near Nob Hill or something.
Alex: Sounds chill. Can I come?
Kim: I don't know if it's your scene. The place has pretty hipster bars. They all have PBR on tap for $5 a pint.

Added by xmangoslushie xmangoslushie about 7 years ago

    9

    Bear Goggles

    Similar to beer goggles, bear goggles refer to a the influence of studying at UC Berkeley on one's visual perception, whereby one slowly finds someone attractive who would not have been attractive before studying at UC Berkeley.

    James: What do you think about her? She's pretty hot, right?
    Dave: What are you on? You said she was hideous last semester. Did your optometrist prescribe you bear goggles?

    Added by xmangoslushie xmangoslushie about 7 years ago

    6

    Title Promotion

    A title promotion is a like a normal promotion, except without any increase in compensation, whether salary or otherwise. This is typically used to make engineers feel more important and get them to do more work without actually paying them for it.

    Calvin: I just got promoted to Senior Software Engineer! I get to manage a team and maintain existing code!
    Jerry: Are you getting paid more?
    Calvin: No, but think of how exciting this opportunity is!
    Jerry: ...

    Added by xmangoslushie xmangoslushie about 7 years ago

      13

      Zombie Startup

      VC funded companies that don't close their doors after funding runs out, but also does not grow significantly. They typically generate enough revenues to continue business, but the VC is unable to divest. As a result, the company tends to shed all of its brainpower and continues to operate as a brainless zombie for many years.

      All of the engineering talent has left the company. What's left is a zombie startup that should continue to operate, but nobody's ever going to make money there.

      Added by ttitus ttitus about 7 years ago

      10

      I Could've Built That Fallacy

      The fallacy in which someone believes that they were capable of building something before an already more popular version of a product has come out.

      In many instances this fallacy is contained by engineers working at companies or in academia in an indirect attempt to belittle the success of founders, claiming how trivial it is to build said app. It can also be a feeble attempt to make up for their unrealized internal inferiority complex. In reality they might have been able to code it, but not conceive it's details, key features, and brand identity.

      George suffered from the I could've built that fallacy for weeks after Snapchat received an offer from Facebook for over a billion dollars in talked about acquisition. He built his own version while working at Google, but it only had 5 users. He was happy he didn't quit his day job.

      Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie about 7 years ago

      5

      Medium Self-Help

      A genre of of Medium articles aiming to simultaneously enrich the readers lives and indirectly boost a first-time writers confidence and popularity.

      They can range from articles on how to have better relationships with the people around them to how to handle startup stress. Normally everything is anecdotal and nothing is really verifiable.

      Zeeshan: Check out my new medium article, "How to Passion Your Way to Success."
      Matt: That title...what does it even mean? 50 retweets already?
      Zeeshan: Nobody knows what it means. But it's provocative!
      Matt: What...
      Zeeshan: It gets the people going.

      Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie about 7 years ago

        6

        US Bitcoin Legislative Arms Race

        This references the pressure Bitcoin startups have to show significant traction or get acquired before the United States outlaws the use of Bitcoin (whether this will or will not happen is of course debatable).

        Look man, because of the US Bitcoin Legislative Arms Race, our job is to make enough sales and sell out before the House and Senate make some extreme move in banning Bitcoin and making our company essentially worthless here in the US. I don't want to move to Greece man.

        Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie about 7 years ago

          6

          Fuck You I Made It Burn

          When someone whose reached any level of success posts the emails, IMs, or correspondence between them and anyone whose rejected them publicly prefacing it all as motivation for others to continue working hard toward their goals.

          Man I felt so good reading Brian Chesky's, 7 Rejection's Medium post last Sunday. Reading those rejections word for word and blurring out the name of the person sending it, probably made it the best and most subtle Fuck You I Made It Burn of the year.

          https://medium.com/@bchesky/7-rejections-7d894cbaa084

          Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie about 7 years ago

            6

            Startup/Big Co Power Couple

            When one member of a relationship works at a more well-known tech company, while the other works on a startup. This ensures that the couple can at least pay rent while the other member of the relationship pursues something new.

            Because Milly works at Netflix and Erik is working in a startup revolving biotic limbs, they are are a strong startup/bigco power couple who're said to be going places while still being relatively secure.

            Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie about 7 years ago

            5

            Class Shopping

            Signing up for more courses than you intend to take to scope out whether you want to keep them on your schedule.

            Jack: How was your first day?
            Pete: Pretty good, went class shopping and decided to enroll in CS150, CS162, and CS188. Dropping CS170, Math 55, and PhysicsH7C though.

            Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie about 7 years ago

              5

              Machine Learning

              It's exactly how it sounds. It's a subfield of computer science dealing in pattern recognition and computational learning theory in artificial intelligence.

              In Silicon Valley, people hail this subfield as the leading frontier for innovation that is applicable in almost every company. Machine Learning engineers are very high in demand as the work they produce allows for products to adapt and compute at higher levels than humans can.

              Jack: The best jeopordy player and the best chess player in the world are computers.
              James: That's the power of machine learning, being able to adapt to situations and read more steps ahead than a human can.
              Jack: Yeah but I bet he can't FEEL like I can.
              James: How do you feel?
              Jack: I feel like shit actually...

              Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie about 7 years ago

                5

                The Matrix Delusion

                When someone new begins their study in computer science thinking it will be as cool as the scenes denoting hacking and coding in the film "The Matrix."

                James: Dude what the fuck is this?
                Lloyd: It's called Eclipse.
                James: But where are all the green numbers. Where's the console where I can issue my commands to hack things?!
                Lloyd: You've fallen for the matrix delusion. This is gonna be a rough year.
                James: What the fuck is the point of this... I'm applying to Haas.

                Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie about 7 years ago

                  5

                  To Compile

                  When your machine is assembling the information and commands you've written. If there are no errors that prevent this from happening, your program is normally ready to be tested.

                  Matt: No errors! My code compiles. This shit works.

                  Zeeshan: Let's pistol ship it and call it a day.

                  Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie about 7 years ago

                    5

                    The Stack Overflow Scramble

                    When your compiler throws an error that you have no idea what the fuck it means. You then copy and paste it in stack overflow hoping for answers. One's heart rate tends to increase when their new to this. Soon it becomes a routine and one does this repeatedly until they figure out what's happening.

                    I spent the whole day stack overflow scrambling, trying to figure out why I kept getting this thing called a "Null Pointer Exception."

                    Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie about 7 years ago

                      5

                      Shallow Alto

                      Another name for Palo Alto, denoting how shallow and superficial many (but not all) of it's inhabitants are.

                      Winston: Stanford is so much better than Cal. We're higher ranked and our football team actually wins games. The people who go to your school are plebeians.

                      Steve: Oh yeah! Well...

                      Winston: I like how your school spends so much of my taxpayer money on that pathetic group of children you call a football team. Your stadium can't cover up how much they suck.

                      Steve: Just get outta here man. Go back to Shallow Alto. We got heart here.

                      Winston: Sleeping on the floor and smoking weed all day doesn't mean you guys have heart.

                      Steve: Get back to Shallow ALTO man!!! Just because we don't get sexually aroused every time we see someone driving a nice car, pay higher prices for shitty property, and judge others solely for their wealth and education doesn't make us any worse.

                      Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie about 7 years ago

                        5

                        No Money Mo' Problems

                        This is an expression often used by startups who're running out of their funding.

                        It's the antithesis of the idea propagated by the east coast rapper Biggie Smalls who is sometimes remembered for his song "Mo Money Mo Problems."

                        Zeeshan: Alright I want the Vesace leather over by the Tom Ford couch. Also want that 4k TV on top of the shark tank and we need more Blue Bottle coffee beans for the coffee maker.

                        Matt: Yo! We need to use this money properly. We need to hire engineers!

                        Zeeshan: Nah don't worry I just sold my website cats4justice.com for 500k and invested it back in the company. I thought ahead, no money, mo' problems.

                        Matt: Sweet. Yeah Biggie didn't know what he was talking about. West coast 5eva.

                        Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie about 7 years ago

                          4

                          Coffee Maker

                          In many offices a coffee maker refers to a machine that produces coffee. In Silicon Valley however, a coffee maker is an actual human being (normally an intern) whose job it is to grind the coffee beans by hand and brew drip coffee.

                          In many places it is culturally unacceptable to drink coffee that isn't freshly brewed or use beans that aren't single origin.

                          Bill the Intern: Here's your coffee Justin.
                          Justin: Thanks Bill. The kale leaves on the side are a nice touch. *sips.* Bill come over here for a second.
                          Bill the Intern: What can I do for you Justin. I hope your enjoying the Tesora blend they had on sale at Philz.
                          Justin: First off, you disgust me. Second off, I never want to see your face in this office again. I hope it goes without saying that you are THE worst coffee maker this company has ever had. What have we learned today?
                          Bill the Intern: Single origin only...
                          Justin: Good. Now get out.

                          Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie about 7 years ago

                          3

                          Systems Design

                          Biggest joke of University of Waterloo. This is a program offered at University of Waterloo where students go to lose knowledge they already have. People in this program are believed to be so stupid that they spell SIDE as SYDE.

                          Person 1: Man, I am so depressed. I don't think I can go on
                          Person 2: Hey dude don't give up atleast you are not in Systems Design
                          Person 1: But I just got accepted in Systems Design
                          Person 2: Yeah, you should kill yourself

                          Person 1: Hey why is it so bright out-syde ? ( This person 1 is in Systems Design that is why he spells side as syde. What an idiot !!)
                          Person 2: Because people in-side are dumb

                          Added by fuckSystems fuckSystems about 7 years ago

                          • zazpowered zazpowered

                            Is this a commonly held belief?

                            1
                            Reply
                            about 7 years ago
                          • fuckSystems fuckSystems

                            @zazpowered yep

                            1
                            Reply
                            about 7 years ago
                          • freefunctor freefunctor

                            @zazpowered No this isn't. There is no "joke major" at Waterloo engineering/maths. SYDE is a perfectly fine program that has produced a lot of very fine engineers/entrepreneurs. OP's hate is rather bizarre.

                            1
                            Reply
                            about 7 years ago
                          5

                          Hackathon

                          A period of time usually around 24 hours, in which teams of programmers and designers build out a working project and display it to judges at the end.

                          How Hackathons are judged vary completely on the theme and personal preference making it an extremely relative competition.

                          Sloan: What are you building for this years hackathon?

                          Jim: I'm building a Python interpreter.

                          Sloan: Why?

                          Jim: Because I think a robot who could communicate with snakes and humans could be incredibly useful.

                          Sloan: ...

                          Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie about 7 years ago

                          • Bwenamai Bwenamai

                            Usually by coders that have no idea if there is any meaningful market for their hack.

                            1
                            Reply
                            about 7 years ago