HalfLife3 (123)
Uber Funded
When your startup is funded from the side cash made off of Uber driving.
Zayne: Have you guys raised a round of funding? Pan: We are in fact, Uber funded. Zayne: Right...congrats?
HalfLife3 over 8 years agoLava Pressure
Intentionally making your life worse every time your startup doesn't pass a milestone.
Reynolds keeps putting lava pressure on his team by smashing a monitor everytime their company doesn't gain 10% more users in a given month.
HalfLife3 over 8 years agoStartup Lifestylers
People who get into the startup scene just for the "rock star" lifestyle.
Jaime spends all his funding throwing parities and buying company swag. He's just a startup lifestyler.
HalfLife3 over 8 years agoMilestone
Common term used to communicate between founders and investors the goals they intend on passing. Milestones are sometimes used in determination for future funding worth.
Draymond's company passed all it's milestones so the investors were happy to write him a check for the next round.
HalfLife3 over 8 years agoCat Person Stereotype
The stereotype that engineers in Silicon Valley when given a choice would prefer ownership of a cat rather than a dog.
Ryan: I got you a cat for your birthday. Bob: Fuck you I like Corgis.
HalfLife3 over 8 years agoMedia Headliners
Products big companies keep in the Research and Development area of their company and display at an event for the pure purpose of garnering media attention. The products themselves are either set for release on a date far in the future or never at all.
Tai: Did you see the Google contact lens in the news? Kyrie: Meh, just a media headliner not set to come out for awhile.
HalfLife3 over 8 years agoGetting Swallowed By A Whale
When a bigger company builds what a startup was trying to release. The startup is normally in over it's ahead if the feature is very similar due to the companies resources, money, and development team advantage.
Ron: I heard Jack's startup was trying to annotate the internet. Julia: They got swallowed by a whale. Genius.com got funded and did it before they could.
HalfLife3 over 8 years agoThe Incompetence Interview
Pretending to be someone who doesn't know shit, in an attempt to see how well someone is at explaining things.
Jessica did an incompetence interview on Lando asking her to teach him some basic Ruby on Rails concepts. He didn't know how to even open his terminal.
HalfLife3 over 8 years agoLow Fidelity Prototype
Drawing what your app would look like on a bunch of paper and asking people to pretend it's a real app. This saves you the time of making something on your computer...(which ironically would actually take less time for alot of people).
My low fidelity prototype flew away when the wind got really strong when I was testing my app for hobos at Golden Gate Park.
HalfLife3 over 8 years ago
Elevator Pitch
An investor pitch that literally spans the time of a single elevator ride. People use this expression as a systematic way of telling founders to shut the fuck up and get to the point.
Ron spent 10 months preparing his 10 second elevator pitch. He did everything he could to get it right.
HalfLife3 over 8 years agoPitch Climaxing
The orgasmic feeling one gets when completing one's pitch.
After pitching to YC and getting in I pitch climaxed so hard.
HalfLife3 over 8 years agoInvestor Ambushing
Camping out in front of the exit of a speaking event or the office of an investment firm to get minimal face time with them to either pitch or set up a meeting.
Leo is shameless. He investor ambushes in Palo Alto on Tuesdays and Thursdays trying to pitch his women only dating app.
HalfLife3 over 8 years agoTwitter Ghosting
Taking the identity of a friend or somewhat famous person and creating a fan Twitter account of them.
I twitter ghosted as my friend Lewis for years just writing things he'd say to me during class. My troll account of him has more follows than my own.
HalfLife3 over 8 years agoLinkedIn Endorsement Flirting
Endorsing someone your attracted to for skills they may or not have to start a form of communication between the two of you.
Sabrina: Why did you endorse Zayn for Python. You're a lawyer, you don't even code. Jess: I was endorsement flirting with him. Even though I hate coding, dudes love it when you notice their code.
HalfLife3 over 8 years agoTo Get Eduardofucked
Getting your equity diluted, while thinking that no one in the company hates you enough to fuck you over. This happened to a Facebook founder, Eduordo Saverin, by Mark Zuckerberg and Sean Parker. Goes under Zuckerberging and pretty much why he sued the fuck out of Facebook and Mark later on.
Let's Eduardofuck a bunch of Stanford MBAs who can do marketing and who don't know how cap tables work. We can promise them dilutable common stock and save a ton of money.
HalfLife3 over 8 years agoEquity Dilution
Think of a share as a small unit of ownership in a company. When your shares are unprotected their value is dependent on factors outside your control, such as how many other shares are being distributed to other people. Equity dilution is when these factors decimate the value of your ownership.
Even though Ron was a graduate of the Haas School of Business, he did not know what equity dilution was, so after a year of working at a Stanford student's startup, he lost all the control that he thought he would have.
HalfLife3 over 8 years agoInvestor Crushing
Learning everything possible about your ideal investors fantasizing about the scenario in which the both of you talk about things you just happen to be interested in.
I've been investor crushing on Marc Andreessen for months now. Whenever I see an egg I get so wet.
HalfLife3 over 8 years agoFree Pizza Lure
Luring college engineer and business dev candidates to one's job info session with free food, most commonly pizza.
Chad: Did you go to the Twitter Info Session. Laura: Yeah, I just went for the pizza though. I don't know why everyone here wants to work so badly at Twitter and Google.
HalfLife3 over 8 years agoWeiner Tweeting
Tweeting pictures of one's genetillia and messaging it to someone over Twitter. Coined after former U.S. House Representative Anthony Weiner, who famously tweeted a picture of his privates to a woman he was trying to impress.
Brad: I've been getting so many follows on my twitter account ever since I wrote that Medium article on quitting my job, that I now want to start Weiner Tweeting some of the hot new ladies I've inspired. Charlie: I don't know how you could be capable of writing something so popular but also think something like that would work.
HalfLife3 over 8 years agoWindows 10 Years Too Late
The latest operating system released by Microsoft, often joked about how late they were in getting it right.
Ricky: You buying Windows 10 Years Too Late? Sameer: Nah, I'm getting a Macbook Retina Air with whatever the hell it comes with.
HalfLife3 over 8 years ago
I would actually call this "Paper Prototype". Low-Fidelity can be digital.