SingleCommaClub (8)
This changes everything
Nothing has changed. Pure marketing
See http://svdictionary.com/words/changing-the-world
Introducing the iPhone 4. This changes everything.
zazpowered over 9 years agoFuck you money
When you make enough money from a startup or job that you can basically do whatever you want. Usually from equity after a liquidity event.
Engineering manager: Congrats on the IPO everybody. See you guys on Monday.
Engineer: I'm not sure about that
Manager: You think you can do whatever you want now you have that fuck you money?
Engineer: Sorry sir. I just got a little excited
zazpowered over 9 years agoIn the single comma club now... :/
@SingleCommaClub that's not bad. you will get to two commas soon
Early Employee
A founder who will take 1% of the company instead of 25%. This is a polite way of saying "sucker."
CEO: "We couldn't have done it without a few great early employees."
employeeNumbaOne over 9 years agoI still wouldn't minded having been an early employee at Facebook or Uber.
@silconobserver Zach Holman.
This is total and utter bullshit. The founder risks his entire savings, family/friend relationships and pours his life into his startup. When things finally begin to work he goes out and hires the first few employees. In return the "early employees" get paid market rate or slightly below market rate and get equity and the founder gets painted as a greedy bastard? Who is the real sucker here
Non-technical Cofounder
A Wharton MBA who will overestimate the value of his idea and underestimate the value of the person who will implement it. Often wonders why his technical cofounders leave him and the apps they build look like shit and get hacked all the time.
Non-technical Cofounder: Why do all these technical cofounders leave me? Did they not see the MBA from Wharton in my email? I'm telling you right now, I know how to write a business plan. I even offered the last guy 10% of my company.
zazpowered over 9 years agoWorked with a guy just like this before. We had tons of competition doing the exact same thing but dude refused to change his ideas or strategy at all. Happy it was contract work.
Also known as "Ideas Guy"
As opposed to a technical cofounder that shaves yaks because they have no clue about business?
Popular phrase: "Looking for a technical co-founder"
B.S. Computer Science, Freeloading Minor
The distinction a CS student receives upon graduating college having written minimal code. This is done by free loading off of team members during group projects and copying code from peers during individual assignments. If they graduate having written no code, they get a double major.
Brad: Did John write any code in his 4 years here? I just want to see if he got B.S. CS, Freloading Minor or B.S. CS, B.A. Freeloading
zazpowered over 9 years agoMBA
Certification that you've read case studies on how others have succeeded.
Steve: Have you started your business yet?
Jeremey: No I'm getting my MBA. I'll start my first business when I'm 30 and have a wife and kids.
yungsnuggie over 9 years agoBut I actually want to get an MBA
@zazpowered :)
@zazpowered You may want to interview friends who earned their MBAs.
Facebook Friend
Somebody you met in real life once who is useful for increasing your friend count and possibly the like counts of your latest selfies but likely someone you will never talk to again.
"I don't know who Jane is but she's liking my photos so she stays."
zazpowered over 9 years ago150ft Rule
A company wide standard at Google that says that not even a single area of the office can be situated at a distance exceeding 150 feet, from sources of food.
When I work I constantly have food at my desk. It's a delicious life. The main reason I never want to leave Google is the 150ft rule.
yungsnuggie over 9 years agoPistol Ship
To ship one's code without checking it. This is normally done out of a combination of hubris and laziness.
Jack: I feel like Clint Eastwood, I've been pistol shipping compiled code all day. I love working at Facebook. Lewis: Facebook is down.
yungsnuggie over 9 years agoStartup Wet Dreaming
A nocturnal emission that occurs at the thought of one's startup being acquired or achieving vast success.
Julie: These sheets....what the hell. Are you cheating on me? Ryan: Sorry babe, I've been startup wet dreaming ever since Tech Stars accepted our team. Love ya.
HalfLife3 over 9 years agoThis may have happened to me before
Love it. Although, I did love my iPhone 4S. And it still runs like ALL Apple products I have ever owned!
Doesn't change much to be honest, 99% marketing 1% decent phone