healpay
healpay (5)

37

Uber of...

Commonly used by startup founders to compare their mediocre startup or idea to the startup unicorn Uber.

Startup Founder: We're the Uber of food delivery.
VC: Uhhh... so is everyone else.

Added by ssc242 ssc242 almost 9 years ago

  • iceariel13 iceariel13

    Yep, seamless, delivery,com, munchery, caviar...the list never ends

    1
    Reply
    over 8 years ago
  • N.Hemingway N.Hemingway

    You should additionally add "Facebook of..." probably the most heard phrase since 2010 ;D

    1
    Reply
    over 8 years ago
6

Does anyone make money around here?

Users of venture backed startups and residents of Silicon Valley ask this question frequently. They do not understand how a lot of social apps such as Snapchat and Facebook (before they started to run ads) are able to raise so much money at sky high valuations without generating revenue.

For on demand services such as Uber, Instacart and Caviar they do not understand how signup credit, promo codes and referral credit can be offered so frequently.

Jim: Let me get this straight. Snapchat is worth $10 billion now and they haven't made any money? Just now I read Uber is offering $100 signup credit, $50 credit for every friend I refer and a one time promo code of $20 off of my first ride. Does anyone make money around here?

Tim: You realize Uber has raised $1 billion dollars every month for the past 12 months right?

Added by zazpowered zazpowered almost 9 years ago

    18

    DINK

    Duel Income, No Kids - A co-worker who is married to another tech who makes as much as you do. They don't have any kids and spend their time buying things on Amazon Prime, paying for movies on Apple TV, drinking wine from an online wine delivery club, and drive their BMWs to spin class, yoga, and to drop their dogs off at doggie-daycare.

    "Must be nice to have a partner that makes as much as you do. You DINKs have it all."

    Added by RobotCowboy RobotCowboy almost 9 years ago

    • FuctCo5K FuctCo5K

      Freeze yr eggs, bitch. I'm sure your career will improve so that you can feel OK to have kids.... someday. Hahaha sucker.

      1
      Reply
      almost 8 years ago
    5

    Microsoft Word

    A skill people add to their Linkedin profile that instantly tells you, with 100% accuracy, that they are not tech savvy.

    Harold: I have Microsoft Word and Excel listed on my Linkedin profile with approximately 50 endorsements each and I'm not getting any responses to my tech job applications. Did I apply with the wrong email?

    Added by zazpowered zazpowered almost 9 years ago

      15

      Big Data

      When your database takes at least 2 minutes to export to a CSV.

      Engineer: "Our mongo collection hit 1 million records a few moments ago."
      Hiring Manager: "Great, now I can post this position for a Big Data Engineer on Hacker News."

      Added by planningtime planningtime almost 9 years ago