iceariel13 (0)
Brogrammer
When you mix your typical engineer with your typical frat boy. The official heuristic to identify a brogrammer in your organization is when you can't tell whether the suspect is part of your engineering team or your sales team.
David: I originally thought Kilim was a programmer but he's been popping his collar and talking a lot. Is he a brogrammer?
zazpowered almost 9 years agoSilicon Valley Billionaire
Silicon Valley Billionaires tend to be younger, poorer dressed and generally less douchey than billionaires from other areas. Some are so poorly dressed that it is often hard to distinguish one from a hobo. In New York, a 23 year old scrawny male with t-shirt and jeans might be told to fuck off at a Lambourhini dealership but the same thing would never happen in Silicon Valley.
Sales person: Do you think I should even talk to that guy over there. It doesn't look like he can afford a car.
2nd sales person: That's Mark Zuckerberg
zazpowered almost 9 years agoEngineer Unicorn
An engineer that is competent, good looking, dresses well and is not socially awkward.
John: How come no other engineers are like David?
Mary: He's an engineer unicorn. They are rare.
pygmyknight almost 9 years agoThe legend says some of them can be found here http://www.engineerunicorns.com
"Unicorn" is a common term for an engineer (usually front-end) who also has good taste in design and is able to contribute to UX early on. But "unicorn" is also used for startups that turn out to be breakout successes, like Uber and Airbnb. Silicon Valley really likes unicorns.
Uber of...
Commonly used by startup founders to compare their mediocre startup or idea to the startup unicorn Uber.
Startup Founder: We're the Uber of food delivery.
VC: Uhhh... so is everyone else.
ssc242 almost 9 years agoYep, seamless, delivery,com, munchery, caviar...the list never ends
You should additionally add "Facebook of..." probably the most heard phrase since 2010 ;D
Early Employee
A founder who will take 1% of the company instead of 25%. This is a polite way of saying "sucker."
CEO: "We couldn't have done it without a few great early employees."
employeeNumbaOne almost 9 years agoI still wouldn't minded having been an early employee at Facebook or Uber.
@silconobserver Zach Holman.
This is total and utter bullshit. The founder risks his entire savings, family/friend relationships and pours his life into his startup. When things finally begin to work he goes out and hires the first few employees. In return the "early employees" get paid market rate or slightly below market rate and get equity and the founder gets painted as a greedy bastard? Who is the real sucker here
Engineer Hot Girl Syndrome
When a non-technical founder starts treating really good engineers like attractive girls, asking them out to dinner, buying them gifts arbitrarily, and sometimes getting nervous in their presence.
Zeeshan's friend Vishnu is such a good programmer I get engineer hot girl syndrome in his presence. I want him on our team so badly.
yungsnuggie almost 9 years agoNon-technical Cofounder
A Wharton MBA who will overestimate the value of his idea and underestimate the value of the person who will implement it. Often wonders why his technical cofounders leave him and the apps they build look like shit and get hacked all the time.
Non-technical Cofounder: Why do all these technical cofounders leave me? Did they not see the MBA from Wharton in my email? I'm telling you right now, I know how to write a business plan. I even offered the last guy 10% of my company.
zazpowered almost 9 years agoWorked with a guy just like this before. We had tons of competition doing the exact same thing but dude refused to change his ideas or strategy at all. Happy it was contract work.
Also known as "Ideas Guy"
As opposed to a technical cofounder that shaves yaks because they have no clue about business?
Popular phrase: "Looking for a technical co-founder"
MBA
Certification that you've read case studies on how others have succeeded.
Steve: Have you started your business yet?
Jeremey: No I'm getting my MBA. I'll start my first business when I'm 30 and have a wife and kids.
yungsnuggie almost 9 years agoBut I actually want to get an MBA
@zazpowered :)
@zazpowered You may want to interview friends who earned their MBAs.
Vanity Metrics
Useless data that looks good but does not necessarily correlate real success.
Bob: Our website gets a million views daily!
Mark: How many of them are you converting to paid users?
Bob: Well.. we are still working on that.
serge almost 9 years agoTopchart vanity metrics list http://www.topchart.io/lists/vanity-metrics
Technical Founder
A 5.0 student from MIT, the technical founder is a lone wolf who thinks business people are completely useless. You're a social media manager? Get the fuck out of here. His code is perfectly architected, clean and commented in all the right places. His startups fail because he doesn't think writing CSS is worth his time and his sites look like shit as a result.
Technical founder: I was almost about to team up with a non-technical cofounder but then he told me he wanted a user interface to manage our sites content.
zazpowered almost 9 years ago@blog Congrats, you're an http://svdictionary.com/words/innovator
Three Commas Club
Three commas to imply a billion dollars as $1,000,000,000 has 3 commas. To be in the three commas club is to be a billionaire.
Richard’s literalness remains the one thing to rattle Russ. “You know what has three commas in it, Richard?” “A sentence with two appositive phrases in it?”
arunaharsa almost 9 years agoZynga
A word used to describe the flashing and annoying ads which consume the lower 1/3 of your phone's screen.
Bro #1: Taking my phone to the shop, there's this weird Zynga on my screen that refuses to go away.
Bro #2: Ha, I had to throw mine in the trash to get rid of it.
That_Guy over 8 years agoEscape Velocity
Speed at which meaningless buzzwords escape the lips of Pebble-wearing hipster entrepreneurs and Fitbit-wearing overweight VCs, when talking about rapidly growing start ups. Currently clocked at an average of 240 wpm.
VC: How do you plan to achieve your projected engagement numbers?
Entrepreneur: We plan to hack together a MVP by leveraging weekly Scrums and neutralize our burn r...
VC: I think you just achieved escape velocity.
That_Guy over 8 years agoUber Funded
When your startup is funded from the side cash made off of Uber driving.
Zayne: Have you guys raised a round of funding? Pan: We are in fact, Uber funded. Zayne: Right...congrats?
HalfLife3 over 8 years agoLava Pressure
Intentionally making your life worse every time your startup doesn't pass a milestone.
Reynolds keeps putting lava pressure on his team by smashing a monitor everytime their company doesn't gain 10% more users in a given month.
HalfLife3 over 8 years ago
More useful information for problogrammer here IBM