Ismael
Ismael (5)

54

Fuck you money

When you make enough money from a startup or job that you can basically do whatever you want. Usually from equity after a liquidity event.

Engineering manager: Congrats on the IPO everybody. See you guys on Monday.
Engineer: I'm not sure about that
Manager: You think you can do whatever you want now you have that fuck you money?
Engineer: Sorry sir. I just got a little excited

Added by zazpowered zazpowered about 7 years ago

35

Brogrammer

When you mix your typical engineer with your typical frat boy. The official heuristic to identify a brogrammer in your organization is when you can't tell whether the suspect is part of your engineering team or your sales team.

David: I originally thought Kilim was a programmer but he's been popping his collar and talking a lot. Is he a brogrammer?

Added by zazpowered zazpowered about 7 years ago

  • bkelly bkelly

    More useful information for problogrammer here IBM

    1
    Reply
    about 6 years ago
37

Uber of...

Commonly used by startup founders to compare their mediocre startup or idea to the startup unicorn Uber.

Startup Founder: We're the Uber of food delivery.
VC: Uhhh... so is everyone else.

Added by ssc242 ssc242 almost 7 years ago

  • iceariel13 iceariel13

    Yep, seamless, delivery,com, munchery, caviar...the list never ends

    1
    Reply
    almost 7 years ago
  • N.Hemingway N.Hemingway

    You should additionally add "Facebook of..." probably the most heard phrase since 2010 ;D

    1
    Reply
    almost 7 years ago
93

Waterloo

A mythical University in Canada where many good Engineers and Computer Scientists come from.

Sam: "Where are all these Canadians from?"
Matthew: "We hired 10 interns and 20 full-times from Waterloo. They get shit done because if we don't hire them, they'll have to work for Blackberry."

Added by robert robert almost 7 years ago

  • zazpowered zazpowered

    @orien No what are you talking about

    1
    Reply
    almost 7 years ago
  • zazpowered zazpowered

    @SingleCommaClub It's similar to what you see from immigrants to a new country like US or Canada

    1
    Reply
    almost 7 years ago
  • zazpowered zazpowered

    I have a lot of friends from canada and waterloo and this seems really accurate from what i've heard

    1
    Reply
    almost 7 years ago
  • charlesjo charlesjo

    It's like a parallel universe of Silicon Valley where people speak American English...

    3
    Reply
    almost 7 years ago
  • orien orien

    @zazpowered aren't you from waterloo

    2
    Reply
    almost 7 years ago
  • freefunctor freefunctor

    @SingleCommaClub That's not true at all. Pretty much everyone I know from my graduating class got offers from US companies. A significant proportion of students choose to stay because the region is booming right now, and also the quality of life in Canada is pretty high.

    2
    Reply
    almost 7 years ago
  • zazpowered zazpowered

    @freefunctor toronto and canada are awesome

    2
    Reply
    almost 7 years ago
  • SingleCommaClub SingleCommaClub

    Have worked with a lot of engineers from Waterloo through internships and full time. Can honestly say they are very talented, but there is a bias because all the ones that make it to US companies are generally top notch.

    2
    Reply
    almost 7 years ago
  • Devilinlimbo Devilinlimbo

    I love this site!

    6
    Reply
    over 5 years ago
4

Hackathon

A team of sweaty engineers in a cramped coworking space building a product that will never see the light of day. Business and marketing types can assist this effort by bringing caffeinated drinks. Brought to you by Amazon.

At the end, the most vaguely marketable product might get investor attention. If so, it will use AWS forever.

Engineer (excitedly): "I'm going to a hackathon this weekend!"

Engineer (exhaustedly): "I went to a hackathon this weekend."

Added by employeeNumbaOne employeeNumbaOne almost 7 years ago

    5

    Enterprise

    Adj. -- a synonym for "takes longer, but for way more money"

    Sales: "The enterprise sales cycle takes months, but we're talking about whales here."
    Engineer: "The enterprise module is going to be a huge effort, but if you're sure it'll be worth it..."

    Manager: "All right, we've IPO'd now. It's time to adhere to enterprise process standards."
    Sales & Engineering: "Does that mean we get raises?"

    Added by employeeNumbaOne employeeNumbaOne almost 7 years ago

      7

      Technical Debt

      Reason you give for not shipping shit

      We have a bunch of technical debt we have to work resolve before we can ship X new feature

      Added by Flacko Flacko almost 7 years ago

        7

        Post Silicon Valley Move Stress Disorder (PSVMSD)

        What an investment banker experiences after moving to Silicon Valley because he is no longer at the top of the totem pole.

        Lloyd: The other day I was talking to this girl when suddenly this nerdy Facebook employee starts talking to her, not even Mark, just a regular employee... and then she completely ignores me. I work in finance. I repeat, I work in finance. I miss New York.

        Added by zazpowered zazpowered almost 7 years ago

          4

          Airbnb

          A website for people to rent out lodging. An example of a dumb sounding idea that turned out really well.

          VC: So let me get this straight. A stranger will come into your house and sleep on an air mattress? and then you will give them breakfast? and you think it will be worth $25 billion one day? I know the market is really hot for founders right now but you need to do something else.

          Added by zazpowered zazpowered almost 7 years ago

            36

            MBA

            Certification that you've read case studies on how others have succeeded.

            Steve: Have you started your business yet?
            Jeremey: No I'm getting my MBA. I'll start my first business when I'm 30 and have a wife and kids.

            Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 7 years ago

            4

            Business Hour

            When you go to a happy hour with the only intention to network with people that might invest in you or promote your startup.

            Rachel: That dude has been talking to Ryan Hoover this whole time. I know a Product Hunt feature is nice but I thought this was a happy hour not a business hour.

            Added by zazpowered zazpowered almost 7 years ago

              3

              Big Company Utopia

              Refers to the type of environment that big companies such as Facebook and Google create for their employees. This includes free dinner and lunch, mini fridges filled with $8 a bottle cold pressed juices, organic everything, shuttles to and from work and even mobile hair salons waiting for you outside in the parking lot. Meanwhile a small startup might get a water fountain that will work half the time.

              Tiffany: I heard Facebook stocks their fridge with kombucha. What the hell. I want that. I don't even get paid as much.

              Added by zazpowered zazpowered almost 7 years ago

                6

                Jeremy Lin

                The perfect child. A Harvard graduate and now a player in the NBA. He is often used in reference by parents (especially in Palo Alto where he went to High School) to "motivate" their child to do better in all aspects of life.

                Krishna Lee: Mom, I got into UCLA!
                Mom: "WHY YOU NO LIKE JEREMY LIN. HE GO TO HARVARD AND PLAY IN NBA."

                Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 7 years ago

                  21

                  Dave Ratio

                  It's very difficult to achieve gender parity at a startup, given the toxic culture. The next best metric, is to compare the number of men named dave, to the number of women. Reference

                  Alex: It's hard finding a company that has a reasonable number of women.
                  Kourtney: Have you tried working at a company with a 10:1 dave ratio?

                  Added by oakland_mike oakland_mike almost 7 years ago

                    7

                    Tech Aficionado

                    A person who is insecure about their superficial knowledge in software, hardware and technology in general, but really wants to fit in. It's a description often used in online social blogging bios.

                    Hi my name is Homer, I'm a sushi enthusiast, cat owner, and a tech aficionado living in the Bay Area. I do marketing for Uber.

                    Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 7 years ago

                      4

                      Free Food

                      An excellent fringe benefit that increases employee morale, public image and work culture quality at low cost, it might even allow companies to pay out lower salaries or have better negotiation leverage for new hires.

                      Goldman Sachs employee: Yeah I go out to eat every so often, but I like to make my own lunch.
                      Facebook employee: Ha! we get free food every meal at Facebook!
                      Goldman Sachs employee: I hope you're stuffing it down, cuz all that free food comes out of your bonus pool! I just get a fatter check every year.
                      Facebook employee: *cries*

                      Added by willgr81 willgr81 about 6 years ago

                        4

                        Medium

                        A blogging platform to announce your Incredible Journey.

                        http://svdictionary.com/words/incredible-journey

                        Added by employeeNumbaOne employeeNumbaOne about 6 years ago