Taking the identity of a friend or somewhat famous person and creating a fan Twitter account of them.
I twitter ghosted as my friend Lewis for years just writing things he'd say to me during class. My troll account of him has more follows than my own.
A statistician who lives in the Bay Area.
Q: How many Data Scientists does it take to implement a Spark stack?
A: All of them, since at first they tend to have a Hive mind.
A method of experimentation to test which products, services, or marketing tactics return higher conversion rates, customer satisfaction, sales, etc. Used to weed out shitty products or services and prioritize one, better product or service.
Guy 1: Hey we have two email newsletters. Which one do you think would return a more sales?
Guy 2: Don't know, let's use some A/B testing and see which one performs better.
When a semi-high profile startup founder writes an incredibly emotional (and overly dramatic) piece about how hard their lives were to humanize them and make them seem accessible.
My friend Jerry Lee Kai was founder sympathy blogging the other day and to his surprise it got incredibly popular. He had to follow up that later that he wasn't as damaged as the article made him out to be.
Camping out in front of the exit of a speaking event or the office of an investment firm to get minimal face time with them to either pitch or set up a meeting.
Leo is shameless. He investor ambushes in Palo Alto on Tuesdays and Thursdays trying to pitch his women only dating app.
Stolen company bikes being seen riden outside of the Mountain View HQ.
I saw a group of dudes riding rainbow bike contraband through Oakland today. Yeah they're a bunch of dick programmers who thought it would be funny to steal Google bikes and ride them through the East Bay.
It just scale.
Engineer 1: "Hey, relational databases sucks!!! We should use MongoDB fo sho"
Engineer 2: "Why do you think so?"
Engineer 1: "Hey, relational databases sucks!!! We should use MongoDB fo sho"
Engineer 2: "I see, but from a technical standpoint why do you think we should use a NoSQL database?"
Engineer 1: "Hey, relational databases sucks!!! We should use MongoDB fo sho"
Engineer 2: "I... I don't know what to think! How in the world did you graduate from college?"
Engineer 1: "Hey, relational databases sucks!!! We should use MongoDB fo sho"
Engineer 2: "F@*$#@!!!"
Translates to "Thank you."
Charles: Terrence, JD is an angel investor in Silicon Valley. Really into diversity in startups and knows his stuff. Terrence: Charles, moving you to Bcc.
JD Carluccio (Twitter @jdcarlu). Is this the real Pmarca?
@charlesjo so you know for the future. @mention will email the user if it is the beginning of a comment
@zazpowered thanks. @pmarca JD Carluccio (Twitter @jdcarlu). Is this the real Pmarca?
@pmarca JD Carluccio (Twitter @jdcarlu). Is this the real Pmarca?
@Pmarca lol I need to fix it so its not case sensitive
normally you would just click on reply though
@zazpowered too funny.
A University in Toronto that does not give a single fuck about its undergraduates, and filled with over-competitive kids who think that success is a zero-sum game.
Student 1: "Hello, I am your new TA. I will be working 35 hours per week, and be payed below minimum wage." Student 2: "I think the University is abusing you" University Exec: "GTFO if you are not happy." Student 1: "Sigh. I wish I got into Waterloo" Student 2: "We all do..."
A higher-order function that satisfies the "fixed point theorem"
Professor: "We have Y = [\f . (\x . f(xx) ) . (\x . f(xx)) ], that we call the Y-Combinator"
Business student: "SORRY PROFESSOR BUT YOU ARE WRONG. Y COMBINATOR IS AN INCUMBATOR OK???"
Professor: "Please calm down Michael, Paul Graham is indeed very inspired, and enthusiastic about lambda calculus but this..."
Business student: "NO HE IS THE FOUNDER OF Y-COMBINATOR, I HAVE PROOFS"
Professor: "Sigh."
Founder of Square and Twitter. He reads alot of books on self-improvement and tries to build a zen-like culture within the work place like a poor man's Phil Jackson.
Jack Dorsey made us hold hands after the meeting today in a circle. It was awkward because I hear Stacy doesn't wash her hands after going to the bathroom.
An external Engineer who pretends to have all god given code-writing-abilities to built "the next big thing" but in all actuality doesn't qualify and once given the deal secretly hires a real but less expensive Engineer to do the job.
Hiring Person: "Great, before you receive the deal I'd like you to quickly show me your code-writing-skills, just a precaution to be sure you are not an pretendgineer" Pretendgineer: "Well, actually I ain't really prepared to write right now BUT if you want I can send you a codesample by next week? "
After using the `git init` command, "initial commit" is the overused futile message used when committing the initial code to a repo
Person A: I just started a new project and "initial commit" seems boring
Person B: I always just use what http://whatthecommit.com/ gives me
Person A: "Copywrite Microsoft 1978" it is
If you are actually a 10x enough dude to use a random initial commit message: git config --global alias.yolo '!git commit -m "$(curl -s whatthecommit.com/index.txt)"' git yolo
omfg, this is gold!
When a stakeholder, manager, or client who has not been involved in the project drops into a meeting and adds extra functionality requirements or makes comments that change the scope.
Everything was going fine until Chad came in out of no where and pulled a "Swoop n' Poop". Now we are three days until deadline and have to scrap the whole thing!
When startups provide their employees with free dinner. It is offered partly because your employer is nice but mostly to get you to work longer hours.
Eugene: Hey Alex, are you going to stay for dinner. We are starting to offer free dinner everyday now.
Justin: No I'm ok I was actually going to cook something at home.
Eugene: Are you sure? Please stay
How you feel after living in Silicon Valley for a while because it seems like everyone you talk to is either working at a startup, trying to start something or a VC. It's normal to feel a little annoyed when you overhear your bus driver say he is preparing a YC application (http://svdictionary.com/words/y-combinator).
Tim: Living in Silicon Valley is nice but its not hard to feel like you are tech drowning sometimes. The midwest would be a nice change
Term for a freshly developed community-app, which often reaches a "Unicorn-Status" within a short period of time. Once it's on the stock market, buyers refer to it as a "fitpick" (high valued and profitable company) or "blue chip" and therefore try to get hold of any possible stock shares.
Mr. Quainoo: "We are witnessing this highly regarded fitpick becoming a global player and a multi-million dollar company within a very short period of time!" Mr. Yamrali: "From now on there are no boundaries.."
Something your startup doesn't have. A term used to indicate that a company has more money coming in that going out.
Guy 1: Hey, does our startup have positive cash flow?
Guy 2: Not a chance.
Who's JD