Sharifdesigns22 (0)
This changes everything
Nothing has changed. Pure marketing
See http://svdictionary.com/words/changing-the-world
Introducing the iPhone 4. This changes everything.
zazpowered almost 9 years agoFuck you money
When you make enough money from a startup or job that you can basically do whatever you want. Usually from equity after a liquidity event.
Engineering manager: Congrats on the IPO everybody. See you guys on Monday.
Engineer: I'm not sure about that
Manager: You think you can do whatever you want now you have that fuck you money?
Engineer: Sorry sir. I just got a little excited
zazpowered almost 9 years agoIn the single comma club now... :/
@SingleCommaClub that's not bad. you will get to two commas soon
Silicon Valley Billionaire
Silicon Valley Billionaires tend to be younger, poorer dressed and generally less douchey than billionaires from other areas. Some are so poorly dressed that it is often hard to distinguish one from a hobo. In New York, a 23 year old scrawny male with t-shirt and jeans might be told to fuck off at a Lambourhini dealership but the same thing would never happen in Silicon Valley.
Sales person: Do you think I should even talk to that guy over there. It doesn't look like he can afford a car.
2nd sales person: That's Mark Zuckerberg
zazpowered almost 9 years ago10x Engineer
A concept sometimes used in Silicon Valley to describe an engineer that is 10x more productive than an average engineer although the 10x metric is figurative. Sometimes referred to as "Ninjas", these engineers are highly sought after by all tech companies.
Jim: You gave me 100 resumes but none of these guys are 10x engineers. Why hire a few of these guys to slow us down when a 10x engineer is so much more productive?
zazpowered almost 9 years agoThey can be found here: http://10x.engineer
Engineer Unicorn
An engineer that is competent, good looking, dresses well and is not socially awkward.
John: How come no other engineers are like David?
Mary: He's an engineer unicorn. They are rare.
pygmyknight almost 9 years agoThe legend says some of them can be found here http://www.engineerunicorns.com
"Unicorn" is a common term for an engineer (usually front-end) who also has good taste in design and is able to contribute to UX early on. But "unicorn" is also used for startups that turn out to be breakout successes, like Uber and Airbnb. Silicon Valley really likes unicorns.
Uber of...
Commonly used by startup founders to compare their mediocre startup or idea to the startup unicorn Uber.
Startup Founder: We're the Uber of food delivery.
VC: Uhhh... so is everyone else.
ssc242 almost 9 years agoYep, seamless, delivery,com, munchery, caviar...the list never ends
You should additionally add "Facebook of..." probably the most heard phrase since 2010 ;D
Gamification
Adding game elements to normally not game related software or processes in order to increase engagement.
A: User testing has shown that users don't like our accounting app.
B: We should really be adding some gamification.
A: Will that make the app more useful?
B: No, but more fun!
graup almost 9 years agoAwesome Journey
Used when a startup has failed. Intend to give a positive spin on what is a gut wrenching moment.
While our startup has failed, it has been an awesome journey.
beenpoor almost 9 years agoAka a Medium post.
Also known as an "Incredible Journey", as in http://ourincrediblejourney.tumblr.com/
Waterloo
A mythical University in Canada where many good Engineers and Computer Scientists come from.
Sam: "Where are all these Canadians from?"
Matthew: "We hired 10 interns and 20 full-times from Waterloo. They get shit done because if we don't hire them, they'll have to work for Blackberry."
robert almost 9 years ago@orien No what are you talking about
@SingleCommaClub It's similar to what you see from immigrants to a new country like US or Canada
I have a lot of friends from canada and waterloo and this seems really accurate from what i've heard
It's like a parallel universe of Silicon Valley where people speak American English...
@zazpowered aren't you from waterloo
@SingleCommaClub That's not true at all. Pretty much everyone I know from my graduating class got offers from US companies. A significant proportion of students choose to stay because the region is booming right now, and also the quality of life in Canada is pretty high.
@freefunctor toronto and canada are awesome
Have worked with a lot of engineers from Waterloo through internships and full time. Can honestly say they are very talented, but there is a bias because all the ones that make it to US companies are generally top notch.
I love this site!
Early Employee
A founder who will take 1% of the company instead of 25%. This is a polite way of saying "sucker."
CEO: "We couldn't have done it without a few great early employees."
employeeNumbaOne almost 9 years agoI still wouldn't minded having been an early employee at Facebook or Uber.
@silconobserver Zach Holman.
This is total and utter bullshit. The founder risks his entire savings, family/friend relationships and pours his life into his startup. When things finally begin to work he goes out and hires the first few employees. In return the "early employees" get paid market rate or slightly below market rate and get equity and the founder gets painted as a greedy bastard? Who is the real sucker here
Non-technical Cofounder
A Wharton MBA who will overestimate the value of his idea and underestimate the value of the person who will implement it. Often wonders why his technical cofounders leave him and the apps they build look like shit and get hacked all the time.
Non-technical Cofounder: Why do all these technical cofounders leave me? Did they not see the MBA from Wharton in my email? I'm telling you right now, I know how to write a business plan. I even offered the last guy 10% of my company.
zazpowered almost 9 years agoWorked with a guy just like this before. We had tons of competition doing the exact same thing but dude refused to change his ideas or strategy at all. Happy it was contract work.
Also known as "Ideas Guy"
As opposed to a technical cofounder that shaves yaks because they have no clue about business?
Popular phrase: "Looking for a technical co-founder"
MBA
Certification that you've read case studies on how others have succeeded.
Steve: Have you started your business yet?
Jeremey: No I'm getting my MBA. I'll start my first business when I'm 30 and have a wife and kids.
yungsnuggie almost 9 years agoBut I actually want to get an MBA
@zazpowered :)
@zazpowered You may want to interview friends who earned their MBAs.
Vanity Metrics
Useless data that looks good but does not necessarily correlate real success.
Bob: Our website gets a million views daily!
Mark: How many of them are you converting to paid users?
Bob: Well.. we are still working on that.
serge almost 9 years agoTopchart vanity metrics list http://www.topchart.io/lists/vanity-metrics
Just go start a company
Common advice given in Silicon Valley due to the current rockstar status of entrepreneurs and how easy and affordable it has become to start a company. Tools like AWS, Heroku and Rails have made it easy for new developers to put up simple websites and mobile apps to validate their ideas. Online coding education such as Codecademy is getting better and becoming more commonplace. With all that said, not everyone is suited to be entrepreneur, companies need employees and being a successful entrepreneur is not as easy as it may seem based on the number of funding announcements you see on TechCrunch.
http://techcrunch.com/2014/07/20/the-problem-with-founders/
Boss: I think you have too much potential to be working here as an early employee. Just go start a company.
David: I don't really want to. The last idea I attempted was an on-demand cat walking service and it failed so badly I don't want to ever do it again.
Boss: I'll be honest. That sounds pretty bad... but I still think you should start a company.
zazpowered almost 9 years ago
Love it. Although, I did love my iPhone 4S. And it still runs like ALL Apple products I have ever owned!
Doesn't change much to be honest, 99% marketing 1% decent phone