That_Guy
That_Guy (29)

7

Escape Velocity

Speed at which meaningless buzzwords escape the lips of Pebble-wearing hipster entrepreneurs and Fitbit-wearing overweight VCs, when talking about rapidly growing start ups. Currently clocked at an average of 240 wpm.

VC: How do you plan to achieve your projected engagement numbers?
Entrepreneur: We plan to hack together a MVP by leveraging weekly Scrums and neutralize our burn r...
VC: I think you just achieved escape velocity.

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Added by That_Guy That_Guy over 9 years ago

    5

    Zynga

    A word used to describe the flashing and annoying ads which consume the lower 1/3 of your phone's screen.

    Bro #1: Taking my phone to the shop, there's this weird Zynga on my screen that refuses to go away.
    Bro #2: Ha, I had to throw mine in the trash to get rid of it.

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    Added by That_Guy That_Guy over 9 years ago

      6

      Linkedin

      A publicly-traded spam-bot and click-bait machine. It will steal your contacts info and transmit spam to you and your contacts in perpetuity. The 'Unsubscribe' link in the email is only a placeholder. LinkedIn engineers deliberately did not code any action into the link click, because Fuck You!
      Compelled by the torrent of spam, you will login to the web interface/app and have your news feed bombarded with Grade A click-bait from famous internet trolls such as Business Insider.

      I recently signed up on LinkedIn and now my 100GB inbox is #reckt.

      2 Comments
      Added by That_Guy That_Guy over 9 years ago

      • blwinters blwinters

        Best thing I've read on SVD.

        1
        Reply
        over 9 years ago

      • charlesjo charlesjo

        Whoever wrote this definition, please endorse me.

        1
        Reply
        over 9 years ago
      5

      Oracle

      Software with the fugliest UI of all time.

      Matt: Want to give my roomie a a real scare this Halloween, any ideas?
      Dom: Just change his desktop wallpaper to a screenshot from an Oracle system, brah!

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      Added by That_Guy That_Guy over 9 years ago

        4

        Connector

        BS filler that folks use in their Linkedin headline (and/or business cards) when they really don't have anything important to say about themselves. A Connector in SV is the equivalent of a Hollywood socialite.

        Josh, to himself: Aaannnd there...I just set my LinkedIn headline to Entrepreneur | Connector| Networker | Twerker. Now I am gonna sit back and watch the job offers roll in.

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        Added by That_Guy That_Guy over 9 years ago

        2

        Unapologetically Plastic

        Almost every tech billionaire in Silicon Valley.

        Jony Ive, Travis Kalanick, Evan Spiegel, Eric Schmidt et al.

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        Added by That_Guy That_Guy over 9 years ago