willgr81
willgr81 (31)

4

Delivery

One of the species of apps that keep getting made. They're really just digitized indexes of local businesses that market their service really well, get cheap couriers, and establish good partnerships with local vendors. They're not quite scalable, but many have become profitable parts of their community (DoorDash, WeDeliver). It is estimated that every year:
Hundreds of thousands of variants of delivery apps are pitched
Thousands are built to an MVP
A couple hundred end up creating a sustainable business around delivering things faster at a local scale

Anna: So what do you do for a living Josh?
Joshua: Oh I own DeliverData, a Delivery app that delivers stuff faster
Anna: That's nifty! At least your company's name makes sense

Added by willgr81 willgr81 almost 5 years ago

    3

    Real Estate

    One of the species of apps that keep getting made. They're really just digitized indexes of local landlords shat onto a Google Maps visualization or optimize one or more parts of the leasing process. They're not quite scalable, but many have become profitable parts of their community. It is estimated that every year:
    Hundreds of thousands of variants of Real Estate apps are pitched
    Thousands are built to an MVP
    A couple hundred end up creating a sustainable business around the "digital" part of the Real Estate industry

    Jao-lin: So our Real Estate app oversees about $30,000 a month in leasing transactions

    Brian: That's actually not trollish for something like this part of the internet

    Added by willgr81 willgr81 almost 5 years ago

      2

      Social Media

      One of the species of apps that keep getting made. They're really just shitty clones of Facebook and Twitter. I mean if Google couldn't do it, what makes you think you could? It is estimated that every year:
      Hundreds of thousands of variants of social media apps are pitched
      Thousands are built to an MVP
      A couple hundred end up on the app store as different niche apps after the companies pivoted

      Alex: Hey Tara, check out my new Social Media app!
      Tara: Oohh! Next Facebook right here!

      Added by willgr81 willgr81 almost 5 years ago

        3

        Housing Bubble

        The artificial evolutionary mechanism which causes Silicon Valley to have a strong economy (because of the high density of wealth and talent) while simultaneously creating a permanent homeless problem.

        Alicia: Hey, I'm thinking of relocating to the Bay Area. I'll be making $170K and my husband will stay at home to take care of the kids. Do you think that's enough?

        Diego: Hmm, well, move into a bad neighborhood, with a 2 hour commute and a shitty school district and you're cooking!

        Alicia: Haha, wait.... You're serious?

        Diego: Ohh Yea! You'll be cooking a lot too unless you want to spend $15 on a burger. Fast food employees gotta pay rent too! Thanks to this Housing Bubble

        Added by willgr81 willgr81 almost 5 years ago

          2

          Bachelor's Degree

          An academic degree which typically consists of about 40 college classes in a particular field of study. Much like a startup, it is typically either undervalued (by the uneducated) or overvalued (by zealous parents) rather than being appreciated in equanimity as a testament to consistent work under an educational institution. Also known as Peter Thiel's Kryptonite

          Harold: So I see that you got a Bachelor's Degree just last year?

          Katelyn: Yes, in Electrical Engineering

          Harold: Hmm, so can you use Linux?

          Katelyn: ...

          Added by willgr81 willgr81 almost 5 years ago

            3

            Lawyer

            Bloodsucking parasites which benefit by deriving nutrients at the host's expense.

            Founder 1: So what can you do for our company?
            Lawyer: Well I can help you incorporate.
            Founder 2: Just did that on legal zoom for $250
            Lawyer: I, I can help you negotiate term sheets
            Founder 2: Just googled everything we need to know about convertible debt
            Lawyer: uhh, uhh, I can do other stuff too! Here, look, my finger's not really cut off! See!
            Founder 1: Haha, that's nifty. Okay, we'll keep your card
            Lawyer: *Desperately* Thank you!
            Founder 1: *Flushes card down toilet after meeting*

            Added by willgr81 willgr81 almost 5 years ago

            4

            Free Food

            An excellent fringe benefit that increases employee morale, public image and work culture quality at low cost, it might even allow companies to pay out lower salaries or have better negotiation leverage for new hires.

            Goldman Sachs employee: Yeah I go out to eat every so often, but I like to make my own lunch.
            Facebook employee: Ha! we get free food every meal at Facebook!
            Goldman Sachs employee: I hope you're stuffing it down, cuz all that free food comes out of your bonus pool! I just get a fatter check every year.
            Facebook employee: *cries*

            Added by willgr81 willgr81 almost 5 years ago

              4

              Career Fair

              A time when recruiters try to get commission and college students desperately try to get their first taste of the real world. B.S is at a maximum.

              David: Hey did you go to that career fair last week?

              Kara: Yeah, gotta look for those jobs

              David: Mo money, less problems

              Added by willgr81 willgr81 almost 5 years ago

                4

                Convertible Debt

                An investment instrument which allows both founders and investors to procrastinate on the most important aspect of a business. Essentially an investment in a flamewar. Both entrepreneur and investor can share the delusion of cutting legal costs by skimping necessary discussions which usually backfire and lead to unfair dilution if the company succeeds or ruined professional and personal relationships when the company fails.

                Sam: I just raised a million dollars for my startup, GooberData!

                Kayla: Cool, how?

                Sam: A convertible note! Hey, where are you going?

                Added by willgr81 willgr81 almost 5 years ago

                2

                Angel Investor

                The typical Angel Investor can be found in its natural habit, either grazing in the open pastures of tech conferences or herding in secret groups with other Angel Investors. If you happen to be lucky enough to encounter an Angel Investor in the wild, don't try to feed it with Buzzwords as it would run away. Instead, be honest and and try to listen more than you speak.

                Hannah: Duuude, I met this Angel Investor at the conference last week and it was sooo cool! I even got a picture

                Jack: Woah! They really do have wings

                Added by willgr81 willgr81 almost 5 years ago