zazpowered (901)
Long Nail Delay
When an engineer or person working at a computer doesn't cut his finger nails and his typing speed is slowed down because of it.
Jack: Why are you working so slowly today? It took you 20 more minutes to debug Horace's shitty code today Lou: It's Long Nail Delay, My roommate sold my nail clipper to some pervert on Craigslist. Jack: Totally makes sense now.
yungsnuggie over 9 years agoEngineer Jailbait
Someone who has been coding since a very early age and is employed at a large company or startup. They are younger than 18, but seem much older given the vast depth of their knowledge.
Julie: That guy Kumar is kind of cute.
George: Woah, I'd stay away from him if I was you, he's 17 and engineer jailbait.
Julie: Good thing you told me. I dodged a serious bullet, but man he's such a tease.
yungsnuggie over 9 years agoZen
A common company name prefix and word bastardized by Silicon Valley startups, usually chosen to give new users a false sense of comfort for their soulless product.
I love using ZenPayRoll And ZenBox. I just feel so at peace when using their product.
GoogleEngineer over 9 years agoHackathon Poacher
Recruiters who hang around Hackathon (coding/product competitions) in hopes of recommending them to a company in which they garner commission or recruit to their own venture.
Matt: See that guy in the corner wearing a business suit and the blue tie.
Zeeshan: Yeah, what about him? He's seems pretty friendly.
Matt: He's a hackathon poacher looking for engineers to join his dating app team, that matches people without visas to people who have them.
Zeeshan: That's sorta brilliant, but probably borderline illegal.
yungsnuggie over 9 years agoConnector
BS filler that folks use in their Linkedin headline (and/or business cards) when they really don't have anything important to say about themselves. A Connector in SV is the equivalent of a Hollywood socialite.
Josh, to himself: Aaannnd there...I just set my LinkedIn headline to Entrepreneur | Connector| Networker | Twerker. Now I am gonna sit back and watch the job offers roll in.
That_Guy over 9 years agoConsulting Blogger/Connector
Technical Debt
A silly but effective analogy to explain refactoring to business people.
Developer: "We need to refactor the legacy auth module, which is a dependency for most of our new modules."
Business Guy: "... wat."
Developer: "Some of our early code was debt-financed. That senior debt has preference until we pay it off."
Business Guy: "Oh, I totally get it now. Why didn't you just say that?"
employeeNumbaOne over 9 years agoStanfurd
For some reason UC Berkeley students think spelling Stanford like this is some sort of insult.
Jessica: We won the big game against Cal again. Ben: You go to STANFURD soo who cares?? Jessica: Uh...
covfefelord over 9 years agoThe Anti Drug Test Node
An employee who mostly does his assignments and work under the influence quite often, but is so valuable to the company that the managers go through any length to prevent drug tests from being conducted on that individual or department.
We never have drug tests here in the engineering department because of all the anti-drug test nodes in the office. If we did we'd have to fire half the people who've designed our system architecture.
yungsnuggie over 9 years agoRaspberry Pi
The Raspberry Pi is a series of credit card-sized single-board computers developed in the UK by the Raspberry Pi Foundation. They are tiny computers often used in Hackathons to make cool stuff.
Zeeshan: I used a Raspberry Pi to build a Google Glass that could emulate Game Boy Advance games.
Matt: Why would anyone want something like that.
Zeeshan: Lord knows but it won a prize at this Hackathon.
yungsnuggie over 9 years agoFlappy Bird Fatigue
The incredible amount of fatigue one feels after playing hours of flappy bird. Your overall day begins to deteriorate as you think to yourself why you couldn't get past your currently highest pipe number.
Abdullah: Dude you look exhausted. What's going on?
Zeerek:: I've got flappy bird fatigue because after playing it for 2 hours this morning while Karen was giving an HR presentation. I feel completely wiped out, but all I want to do is keep playing.
yungsnuggie over 9 years agoWindows 10 Years Too Late
The latest operating system released by Microsoft, often joked about how late they were in getting it right.
Ricky: You buying Windows 10 Years Too Late? Sameer: Nah, I'm getting a Macbook Retina Air with whatever the hell it comes with.
HalfLife3 over 9 years agoEditor War
Refers to the rivalry between users of the Emacs and Vi text editors.
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pygmyknight over 9 years agoPerceived Value Pricing
Gauging the pricing of one's product based on how much people THINK it's worth.
RocketSpoon used perceived value pricing to justify the increase in price for their product because they were the only food delivery platform in their area that delivered airline quality food within the smallest time window.
yungsnuggie over 8 years agoTrain Jumper
An investor or founder who only joins a startup when something significant happens because their afraid that the startup train is moving without them.
Jian Yang treated Marcus and his dating app like shit until it was written about in Tech Crunch and he decided to be a train jumper taking his offer to be a founder
yungsnuggie over 8 years ago@kchoi
#ILookLikeAnEngineer
A popular hashtag meant to showcase Silicon Valley's diversity beyond the stereotype.
#ILookLikeAnEngineer has been really effective at breaking the stereotype about engineers. It's making the world a better place as a result.
GoogleEngineer over 9 years agoPornogaphy Leads to Innovation
The belief that software that allows high sharability of human sexual expression, grows and pushes internet technology forward. This notion is often applied to high res video streaming technology and VR apps.
Ronald: They say that the one thing that pushed high streaming 1080p content was the desire for triple xxx sites to have better selections and product. Even the Occulus president says they are allowing NSFW apps on Rift. Lewis: Pornography leads to innovation I suppose...
HalfLife3 over 9 years agoVersion Control
Basically means multiple people can go back to previous iterations of a product. This is important because if you release new code that destroys your product you can go back to the version that worked.
Often used in the descriptions of sites like Github, Bitbucket, etc.
Rob and Mike didn't use any version control software, so as soon as their intern pushed buggy code to their system they had to go offline for a week.
yungsnuggie over 9 years agoAdsense
This is a product put out by Google that allows you to make money off the traffic on your website. It's basically one of the easiest ways to "sell out."
Rob: I hate all the targeted Ads your new website Charlie. Charlie: I love the money I'm getting off Adsense though, so fuck you.
yungsnuggie over 9 years agoD2F ratio
D2F ratio or "dick to floor" ratio is used to determine the relationship between two or more men and the distance between their penises and the floor. Often used to calculate the most efficient way to jerk off men at TechCrunch Disrupt events.
Guy 1: How do we jerk off 4 men at the same time and dick swap them to maximize jerking?
Guy 2: Well we'd have to figure out the D2F ratio and group men based on that.
Original Jared over 9 years agoMedia Headliners
Products big companies keep in the Research and Development area of their company and display at an event for the pure purpose of garnering media attention. The products themselves are either set for release on a date far in the future or never at all.
Tai: Did you see the Google contact lens in the news? Kyrie: Meh, just a media headliner not set to come out for awhile.
HalfLife3 over 9 years ago
sounds really dumb but it does slow you down