zazpowered
zazpowered (901)

7

Escape Velocity

Speed at which meaningless buzzwords escape the lips of Pebble-wearing hipster entrepreneurs and Fitbit-wearing overweight VCs, when talking about rapidly growing start ups. Currently clocked at an average of 240 wpm.

VC: How do you plan to achieve your projected engagement numbers?
Entrepreneur: We plan to hack together a MVP by leveraging weekly Scrums and neutralize our burn r...
VC: I think you just achieved escape velocity.

Added by That_Guy That_Guy over 9 years ago

    5

    Internet Explorer

    Satan's child.

    Greg: "Hey Joe, it looks like our users on IE are reporting the website is flipped upside down."
    Joe: "Well tell them to get themselves the fuck on a decent browser."
    Greg: "I did, but they're telling me the download link for Chrome is redirected to that Rick Roll YouTube video"
    Joe: "Mother fuck. Looks like we're gonna have to sacrifice another intern to IE's Dark Lord."

    Added by zander zander over 9 years ago

    7

    Vestigial Code

    A code probably once served a purpose, but doesn't anymore. You're afraid of removing it because after years it just looks right the way it is.

    In evolutionary biology vestigial organs are the ones an organism probably once used but no longer serve a purpose today.

    James: Dude help me debug my new one button app, "Dude."
    Zeeshan: What is all this? None of it serves a purpose.
    James: It's vestigial code that makes gives me confidence when making something new. I've just built everything on top of my dayspan code from freshman year until now. I commented it out, don't worry.
    Zeeshan: You're a terrible human being, you know that?

    Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 9 years ago

      7

      Pay to Play

      Pay to play is a phrase used for a variety of situations in which money is exchanged for services or the privilege to engage in certain activities within a mobile or console game.

      Antonio: LoL is a totally free Pay to Play game MOBA game.
      Zeeshan: That's awesome, so you haven't spent any money on it?
      Antonio: Only 300$. But dat Annie skin is jus' so sweet man.
      Zeeshan: You don't read Penny Arcade do you...

      Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 9 years ago

        5

        Bronation,Brodation

        From the show Silicon Valley. It means to get a donation for your project from a "bro" or "brogrammer." Previously used in non-developer circles to mean to get a loan from a friend in which the receiver has no intention of paying back that loan.

        "Let's get those bronations going."

        Added by augustwest augustwest over 9 years ago

          9

          LilB

          An artist and cultural icon from Berkeley, California who many regard as "the rawest rapper in the game." To many of his fans he's simply known as The BasedGod and to many's surprise, he's quite plugged into life in the Bay Area and Silicon Valley.

          I went to the free LilB concert on the UC Berkeley campus today. We pretty much spent the night bobbing our head to his mastermind music, while doing the LilB cooking dance. It was fantastic.

          Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 9 years ago

            12

            Imagineer

            A term given to creative people employed at Pixar and Disney. When engineers say that they are imagineers, people tend to figure out they work at Pixar and a part of their soul dies after digesting what they've said.

            Justin: I'm a software engineer at TubeMogul. What do you do?
            Dave: Well I'm glad you asked! I'm an IMAGINEER at Pixar...wait where are you going?

            Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 9 years ago

              10

              Growth Hacking

              Growth hacking is a buzzword journalists and marketers shamelessly use to describe marketing techniques that uses internet applications in non-traditional ways. It makes the person saying it seem as if they've mastered a skill traditional marketers haven't caught on to. Although this is incredibly important aspect for startups it is pretty much a douchier way of saying marketing.

              Studying various growth hacking techniques, Jimmy decided to email a million people Dogecoins with his companies name at the bottom of the email to increase exposure.

              Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 9 years ago

                8

                Grab Bag Founders

                When a number of people have decided not to be cofounders with you and you are left with all C level players. Basically, scraping the bottom of the barrel.

                John wanted to start a company and needed cofounders but all of his friends decided to work for Google instead so he did a mass email blast and took the first 2 people to reply.

                Added by SingleCommaClub SingleCommaClub over 9 years ago

                • chipchop chipchop

                  Wonder where you thought of this from

                  1
                  Reply
                  over 9 years ago
                8

                150ft Rule

                A company wide standard at Google that says that not even a single area of the office can be situated at a distance exceeding 150 feet, from sources of food.

                When I work I constantly have food at my desk. It's a delicious life. The main reason I never want to leave Google is the 150ft rule.

                Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 9 years ago

                  9

                  Janitor at startup

                  The title an asshole CEO (generally a sole founder) puts on their Linkedin title to show they have the ability to fire anybody.

                  Random dude: Where do you work?
                  Albert: I am at the greatest game company around called BigVikingGames
                  Random dude: Cool, what do you do there?
                  Albert: I am the janitor, I just take out the trash!
                  Random dude: cool story bro

                  Added by timferris timferris over 9 years ago

                    5

                    Slack Hit-and-Run

                    When a coworker joins your team's slack channel, posts a link, and leaves before anyone can say anything.

                    joe 4:30pm
                    joined #channel

                    joe 4:30pm
                    http://funnylink.com/risky-click

                    joe 4:30pm
                    left #channel

                    jerry 4:30pm
                    quality hit and run

                    toby 4:30pm
                    huh.

                    jerry 4:30pm
                    semi-not-appropriate-for-work tho

                    Added by jzboch jzboch over 9 years ago

                      10

                      MD Daydreamer

                      A doctor who has passive regrets on his life choices and wonders on the inside whether he or she had what it took to start his or her own business. They makes it a priority to take the opportunity to pitch patients who work in software (regardless of what company they work for) in between his or her diagnosis and sometimes at dinner parties.

                      I stopped going to Dr. Jacobson who is an MD Daydreamer. He always pitches me his idea for canine heart monitors that sends out tweets once a day.

                      Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 9 years ago

                        6

                        Slacking

                        Using a productivity tool called Slack to get work done or communicate with one's team. This can easily be confused to mean "not doing one's work."

                        Jack: You've been getting alot done.

                        James: Yeah man, I've been slacking all day.

                        Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 9 years ago

                          5

                          OS

                          This just means Operating System. When you hear this just think "Windows" or "Mac OSX"

                          I hate myself so I installed the Windows Vista OS on my brand new laptop.

                          Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 9 years ago

                            4

                            No Eeyores Rule

                            A rule where startups should avoid hiring people who are pessimistic, gloomy, depressed in order to prevent decreased morale.
                            A term first proposed by Jason Calacanis in this tweet -> https://twitter.com/Jason/status/627907240037519360

                            Employee #1: Jack I really don't think you should hire chris because you know no Eeyores rule.
                            Nontechnical CEO: Cool. Let's look for another engineer unicorn.

                            Added by svhunt svhunt over 9 years ago

                              2

                              Stack

                              Shorthand for Stackoverflow, the question and answer site for professional and enthusiast programmers.

                              A: "I just cannot figure out how I'm supposed to get this gulp task to work!"
                              B: "Did you check Stack? Looks like a common enough problem."
                              A: "Good point, I'll ask Stack."

                              Added by picopallasi picopallasi over 9 years ago

                                4

                                Authority branding

                                Authority branding enables a person or a company to be perceived as the go-to expert in their industry.
                                Also called authority positioning.

                                Ida Giroday is an international authority branding consultant and success coach for women entrepreneurs. She helps her clients become the leader in their field and fast-track their success.

                                Added by Zaza G Zaza G about 9 years ago

                                  7

                                  The Rift

                                  A title given to denote virtual reality. Popularized by people who have spent immense amounts of time in an Oculus Rift headset and were unable to fully communicate the things they had seen and experienced while present in what they consider a different realm.

                                  Recruiter: Why should we hire you for our VR division?

                                  Jack: Aye. In my time I have seen many things in the Rift. Things the likes of you, could never imagine...

                                  Recruiter: Why are you crying?

                                  Jack: I held my virtual daughter in my arms as the light vanished from her eyes. I fought dragons in Russia trying to protect the refugees of a city that's now burnt to the ground. I spent almost two years in isolation in the Rift reading about the ancient tombs of Java Script and Lisp. I'm hoping that this position will help me forget about my past. My time in the Rift.

                                  Recruiter: Why am I crying...

                                  Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 9 years ago

                                    8

                                    Mechatronics

                                    TLDR: a multidisciplinary engineering field that combines software, electrical and computer, and mechanical engineering.

                                    Sometimes referred as robotics, mechatronics is the most promising discipline in the engineering world. The brightest students are competing to enter this program for it's reputation and employment rate by the top notch companies in the industry(Microsoft, Google, Apple, Tesla etc). University of Waterloo is known as the best university offering this program. Rumor has it that they are the ones came up with this concept and terminology back in the day.

                                    Person 1: Dude, I got accepted into Mechatronics Engineering.
                                    Person 2: The hell is mechatronics?
                                    Person 1: Story short, we're going to build robots!

                                    Added by TimStevenson TimStevenson over 9 years ago