zazpowered
zazpowered (900)

9

Solving Own Problem

A bullshit story founders present to lie on how they arrived at their product.

We built datemycate app because we wanted to solve our own problem to help our cat find a date. He was very horny all the time and was always flirty with my girlfriend.

Added by beenpoor beenpoor almost 7 years ago

    33

    Awesome Journey

    Used when a startup has failed. Intend to give a positive spin on what is a gut wrenching moment.

    While our startup has failed, it has been an awesome journey.

    Added by beenpoor beenpoor almost 7 years ago

    20

    Agile

    A term start ups use to justify any corner cutting they have to take to "get shit done"

    Jon (developer): Why did you take away all our desks and chairs and replace them with card-board boxes?
    Eric (CTO): Jon, we have to be more Agile. Those desks and chairs are paying for one extra EC2 core.

    Kelly (developer): Why the fuck did we let Drew write this shitty ass module?
    Eric (CTO): We have to be Agile and move at the speed of business. Drew "got shit done".

    Added by stevebot stevebot almost 7 years ago

      5

      Incredible opportunity

      White lie to claim that an unknown number of users are having sleepless nights dreaming of your idea.

      This is an incredible opportunity to make a difference in the life horny males by providing them a life sized doll.

      Added by beenpoor beenpoor almost 7 years ago

        6

        Get Shit Done

        A phrase taking to mean "fuck everything you learned in CS class and code like Jack Kerouac until we get the release out"

        Eric(CTO): Guys its time to "get shit done". Stop writing tests and let's just crank this thing out.

        Eric (CTO): Drew likes to "get shit done". I wish more of you developers could crank out KLOC's like him.

        Added by stevebot stevebot almost 7 years ago

          4

          Lifestyle Business

          A lifestyle business is a business that is set up and run by its founders primarily with the aim of sustaining a particular level of income and no more; or to provide a foundation from which to enjoy a particular lifestyle.

          i.e. Not "Crushing It"

          Mike: They had so many paying customers that they were able to become a lifestyle business!
          Jon: I'm so sorry to hear that.

          Added by mike mike almost 7 years ago

            3

            ROI

            Radio On the Internet

            I made billions with my ROI!

            Added by ivanjs ivanjs almost 7 years ago

              3

              Democratization

              Our product allows the general public to do something more easily than they could before, regardless of whether that involves democracy in any sense of the word.

              Through our revolutionary web app, people can now sell their unused scraps of food online, thus democratizing the food distribution process.

              Added by ryporter ryporter almost 7 years ago

                3

                Hockey Stick Growth

                We are wildly overoptimistic about our future growth prospects.

                Our growth rate may look linear (some would say flat), but that's how most of a hockey stick looks. Once we hit that curve, we'll blow up!

                Added by ryporter ryporter almost 7 years ago

                  7

                  Pivot

                  We failed. Now, we're starting over, possibly with something completely different.

                  We started out by building a SoLoMo network for hermits. We've now pivoted to becoming the Uber of door-to-door encyclopedia sales.

                  Added by ryporter ryporter almost 7 years ago

                    33

                    Code Ninja

                    A euphemism that is used by Bay Area recruiters who don't actually know what in specific they want in a Software Engineer, just someone who can pretty much do everything and anything that's handed to them.

                    We're looking to recruit the best Code Ninjas possible for our startup of 4 currently employed non-technical founders. Free pizza will be provided on Wednesdays.

                    Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 7 years ago

                    • charlesjo charlesjo

                      Also used oddly and inappropriately by non-Asians as term of endearment to their Asian-American friends.

                      1
                      Reply
                      almost 7 years ago
                    4

                    Swag

                    Clothes and household items given to you by your company to indirectly promote it and create a sense of pride for. To many, it's an unfortunate, but inevitable spending of startup dollars.

                    I got hired Thursday and Grindr just gave me some awesome swag to celebrate my hire. I got a t-shirt, a coffee mug, a sticker, and protein powder.

                    Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 7 years ago

                      3

                      Swaganomics

                      The condition of an individual or corporation as it regards to the prosperity in direct correlation to free swag earned.

                      I've studied the Swaganomics of Google, Facebook, and Grindr, and have found that Grindr allocates the greatest net yield of startup swag.

                      Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 7 years ago

                        5

                        Undeclared Engineering Student

                        This person was smart enough to get into the engineering college of a university and yet undecisive enough to not know what he wanted to actually pick.

                        My name is Jimmy and I'm an undeclared engineering student trying to decide between, BioE, EECS, MechE, and Civil Engineering.

                        Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 7 years ago

                          4

                          Grindr

                          A male to male friend finding app referenced in the first episode of Silicon Valley in which Erlich Bachman claims to have a 10% stake in.

                          Little more about me.
                          I am the founder of Aviato.
                          And I own a very small percentage of Grindr.
                          It's a men to men dating site where you can find other men within 10 miles of you.

                          Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 7 years ago

                            4

                            EECS

                            Electrical Engineering and Computer Science.

                            This EECS major I met just codes and plays DOTA all day when he's finished working.

                            Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 7 years ago

                              5

                              Stealth Gaming Club

                              A college or highschool club that claims to be a place for computer science enthusiasts, but really is there to just play video games all day with the equipment they buy with the money they get allocated.

                              I've heard rumors that Computer Science Undergrad club at our school is just a stealth gaming club that gathers on the weekdays between class just to play LoL all day.

                              Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 7 years ago

                                6

                                My Code is Compiling

                                An excuse engineers use to do whatever the hell they want in the workplace.

                                Jimmy: Dude why are you riding your bike indoors, listening to Daft Punk with the speakers blasted, without any pants on?
                                Lewis: My code is compiling.

                                Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 7 years ago

                                  5

                                  Oculus Rift

                                  A virtual reality helmet with the capability of letting engineers experience a girlfriend or boyfriend without actually having to leave their home to find one. It was purchased by Facebook who immediately saw the device's potential.

                                  I've been building this awesome simulator that lets you go on a picnic with anime characters on Oculus Rift.

                                  Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 7 years ago

                                    14

                                    Thiel Fellow

                                    A student under the age of 20 handpicked by Peter Thiel to drop out of college and start a company.

                                    I dropped out of MIT because Peter Thiel just gave me a $100,000 to realize my dream of creating a social network for dogs.

                                    Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 7 years ago