zazpowered
zazpowered (900)

4

Liquidity Event

Founders start off owning the entire company.
Then they convince VCs to buy some of it, and they use that money to pay themselves salaries.
Then the VCs convince either retail investors or a megacorporation to buy the company, and that's a liquidity event.

This sounds like a pyramid scheme, but trust me, it isn't.

Employees can't do anything with their stock options until a liquidity event.

Added by employeeNumbaOne employeeNumbaOne almost 7 years ago

    5

    Federal

    See http://svdictionary.com/words/enterprise, but way, way worse.

    This word magically redirects investor attention elsewhere.

    Founder: "Our ideal customer is the federal government."
    VCs: "We are looking for more immediate ROI at this stage. It's been -really- nice talking to you."

    Added by employeeNumbaOne employeeNumbaOne almost 7 years ago

      6

      On Demand

      Another way of saying "for lazy people."

      Meals on demand. That's right, we're revolutionizing the way you get pizza.

      Added by employeeNumbaOne employeeNumbaOne almost 7 years ago

        3

        PG

        I want to say Paul Graham, but I also want to know whether you're totally clueless and out of the loop.

        "I finally met pg in person.
        SENPAI NOTICED ME."

        Added by employeeNumbaOne employeeNumbaOne almost 7 years ago

          7

          Technical Debt

          Reason you give for not shipping shit

          We have a bunch of technical debt we have to work resolve before we can ship X new feature

          Added by Flacko Flacko almost 7 years ago

            26

            Engineer Hot Girl Syndrome

            When a non-technical founder starts treating really good engineers like attractive girls, asking them out to dinner, buying them gifts arbitrarily, and sometimes getting nervous in their presence.

            Zeeshan's friend Vishnu is such a good programmer I get engineer hot girl syndrome in his presence. I want him on our team so badly.

            Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 7 years ago

              2

              Oski Eyes

              When an engineering student (primarily UC Berkeley students) tries to talk to a girl but ends up frowning and giving her an awkward vibe because he is too scared to say anything. This is mostly done out of innocence and fear.

              Cindy was really interested in meeting my friend Brian, but since she was the first girl he'd talked to in months he ended up giving her Oski eyes and scaring her off. She's over there talking to that Haashole Brad now.

              Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 7 years ago

                2

                Simply Scheming

                Trying to impress a future employer by referencing knowledge in Lisp (a programming language with a horrendous amount of parenthesis) that is mostly only taught at MIT and UC Berkeley. Simply Scheme is also the title to a textbook written by Brian Harvey (MIT alum and tenured Berkeley professor).

                Fred simply schemed his way out of the first round interviews making his interviewer feel incompetent by his lack of knowledge in Lisp.

                Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 7 years ago

                • freefunctor freefunctor

                  This is taught heavily at Waterloo as well (although there is a fair bit of Haskell as well). Elegant weapons, for a more civilized world.

                  2
                  Reply
                  almost 7 years ago
                8

                Code Masochist

                A person pursuing a CS degree from a university who finds everything way to easy for his own good, so to challenge himself (or herself) he or she purposely does the projects on the last day so they can feel a comparable amount of pressure to the other students who've sometimes had up to a month to finish. (Can also apply to software engineering employees who do their work irrationally close to the deadline).

                Hai was such a code masochist that he decided to do his upper div cs projects 12 hours before it was due. The professor assigned it 4 weeks ago.

                Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 7 years ago

                  12

                  Bootstrap

                  Funding your startup from your own pocket money. (Because nobody will invest in it)

                  I don't need VC money, I have decided to bootstrap it myself. Yeah!

                  Added by mkagenius mkagenius almost 7 years ago

                    5

                    Asshole Gifting

                    to present a recently purchased item of large value to others; best done while being Russ Hanneman.

                    Dinesh: "So you wanted to show us that you weren't an asshole by showing us the car you just bought for yourself?"

                    Added by whportman whportman almost 7 years ago

                      3

                      H.T.M.L

                      An acronym for How To Meet Ladies NOT that html you're thinking about.
                      Erlich from the show wears a t-shirt with those exact letters, a t-shirt so irresistible that you can't help but to hug him.

                      Meanwhile at a startup event...

                      Matt: Dude, seriously you couldn't find something else to wear for the event?!
                      Zeeshan: Whatcha talking about son? This is my favorite t-shirt. AND all the ladies are going to want to MEET me because I know how to H.T.M.L you know what I mean? ;)

                      Added by svhunt svhunt almost 7 years ago

                        2

                        Hooli

                        A giant tech corporate founded and headed by Gavin Belson. A company that gets into a legal dispute with Pied Pier for copyright infringement.
                        It can also be used interchangeably for fu**ing things up all the time.

                        Zeeshan: how did your exams go?
                        Matt: Man, I hoolied it up again! I gotta study harder next time.

                        Added by svhunt svhunt almost 7 years ago

                          10

                          Erlich Bachman

                          A man of the hour. He sold his company Aviato. Now, he runs an incubator out of his house which also happens to be where Pied Piper is headquartered in. He invested in a few other ideas which never came to fruition. He played a critical role in coming up with an innovative and truly disruptive dick jerk algorithm.

                          In season two, he helps Richard raise a seed round by going around negging a bunch of investors.

                          There's no need for an example. He is the verb, noun and the everything else that matters in this world.

                          Just watch this, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l9_PfruyLlU enough said.

                          Added by svhunt svhunt almost 7 years ago

                            6

                            TresCommas

                            This word's roots comes from the number 1,000,000,000. Which has 3 commas. TresCommas is a club that was formed by billionaires. The word is a hybrid of Spanish and English. "Tres" meaning three (3), and Commas meaning, well, commas ",". The only way to be inducted into the TresCommas Club is to have a net worth of at least 1 billion dollars. Correct usage of the word requires an inter-cap spelling, both the "T" and "C" should always be capitalized to further emphasize what it denotes. Should a club member's net worth fall below TresCommas, membership status is instantly revoked. Members are easy to spot in SV because the cars they drive have Billionaire Doors. TresCommas is also a brand of Tequila, which is only available to members of the TresCommas club.

                            I'm in the TresCommas club and have the Tequila to prove it.

                            Added by trescommas trescommas almost 7 years ago

                              13

                              Palo Alto

                              Spanish for "tall tree." English for "overly priced land."

                              The worst part about having to move to California and begin our new software company is living in Palo Alto. I'm working out of and living in a small house I have to split with 6 other guys and we're still paying a fortune!

                              Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 7 years ago

                              • charlesjo charlesjo

                                There's a joke: Palo Alto is a 2 exit town. It takes 2 successful venture exits to afford to live there.

                                2
                                Reply
                                almost 7 years ago
                              4

                              Ping

                              Send as a message via some messenger.

                              Ping me that bug.

                              Added by mkagenius mkagenius almost 7 years ago

                                16

                                Slack

                                A communication tool for sending messages, files, and GIFS to coworkers, team members, etc.

                                Roberto: Hey Mike, did you get the TPS reports from Barbara?
                                Mike: Nah hombre, let me go slack her.
                                Roberto: Sounds good. Don't forget to spam the channel with GIFS that no want wants to see.
                                Mike: Will do!

                                Added by zander zander almost 7 years ago

                                  19

                                  Making the world a better place

                                  Solving a very specific problem that loosely translates into a social benefit.

                                  We are making the world a better place through P2P iBeacon messaging platforms.

                                  Added by dennis dennis almost 7 years ago

                                  • charlesjo charlesjo

                                    Look at how much time sink we've created for evil people... with Reddit.

                                    1
                                    Reply
                                    almost 7 years ago
                                  6

                                  Gluttonygramming

                                  Programming and working at a slower pace to purposely get more food out of the company.

                                  Jordan didn't feel like cooking dinner so he started gluttonygramming to force the company employee policy of paying a 15$ credit for engineer's dinner who works until after 7.

                                  Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 7 years ago